Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
It is evident that technology has transformed the ways of communication and influenced relationships in a variety of ways. In my opinion, there are both positive and negative effects of this.
The principal way in which relationships have been affected is that they tend to be at a distance rather than face-to-face. The advent of the internet has made it easy for business owners to communicate across the world, with remote job opportunities one call away. Online educational programs are available for people residing in different countries, and it is no longer a dream to attend live classes from the comfortable environment of a home. Not only this, the social platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube have revolutionized relationships, be it making online friendships with people from other countries or staying in touch with loved ones. Based on this perspective, technology has influenced relationships in a positive way.
However, despite these advances, the quality of interaction has significantly declined in several respects. If people are developing most of their relationships online, this means that they may also have less fact-to-face contact. This kind of contact on a personal level is important for human beings to feel wanted and a part of society. This may be a particular problem for children's social development as they used to be seen playing out on the streets but are now too often indoors. Technology can also mean people are detached from what is going on around them even when they are out, as can be seen by the many people staring into their mobile phones as they travel or walk around.
In conclusion, technology has brought some positive development in the ways people interact with each other. However, there are also some negative impacts of technology on the types of relationships people make.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: ways Suggested revision: forms Why it matters: The phrase 'forms of communication' is more idiomatic in this context.
- 2. Clarify the reference Original: effects of this Suggested revision: effects of this technological change Why it matters: Naming the change makes the reference more precise.
- 3. Improve the phrasing Original: be at a distance Suggested revision: take place at a distance Why it matters: Relationships or interactions more naturally 'take place' at a distance.
- 4. Choose precise wording Original: one call away Suggested revision: readily available Why it matters: This wording expresses accessibility without the awkward literal image of a call.
- 5. Use concise phrasing Original: from the comfortable environment of a home Suggested revision: from the comfort of home Why it matters: This is the conventional and more concise expression.
- 6. Fix the linker Original: Not only this Suggested revision: Moreover Why it matters: 'Not only' normally requires a matching 'but also' structure, so a simple additive linker fits here.
- 7. Use the standard term Original: the social platforms Suggested revision: social media platforms Why it matters: 'Social media platforms' is the established term for the named services.
- 8. Fix the noun phrase Original: development Suggested revision: developments Why it matters: The countable noun needs a plural form after 'some' in this meaning.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: This may be a particular problem for children's social development as they used to be seen playing out on the streets but are now too often indoors. Suggested revision: This may be a particular problem for children's social development, as children used to be seen playing outside but are now too often indoors. Why it matters: Repeating 'children' removes the briefly ambiguous pronoun reference while preserving the comparison.
- 10. Order examples more clearly Suggested revision: Group the business and education examples together, then use a clear transition before the social-relationship example. Why it matters: The paragraph shifts across three relationship contexts, so clearer grouping would strengthen its progression.
Suggested Rewrites
- ways forms
- effects of this effects of this technological change
- be at a distance take place at a distance
- one call away readily available
- from the comfortable environment of a home from the comfort of home
- Not only this Moreover
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest when it explains, in a clear and logically organised way, how technology enables distant relationships while weakening direct social contact. Its main limitation is that it presents benefits and drawbacks without reaching a clear judgement on whether the development is positive or negative overall. The highest-priority improvement is to state a comparative position and reinforce it through the body and conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both questions with relevant, developed effects, but its position remains evenly balanced rather than clearly judging the development overall.
State whether the positive or negative effects ultimately outweigh the other side and make that judgement consistent in the introduction and conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices generally make the contrast between benefits and drawbacks easy to follow.
Use less formulaic transitions and make the relationship between each example and its paragraph's central claim more direct.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently flexible range of vocabulary conveys the main ideas clearly, despite occasional awkward collocations and the spelling slip in 'fact-to-face'.
Improve precision by replacing unnatural phrases such as 'ways of communication' and 'comfortable environment of a home' with more idiomatic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a good variety of complex structures with generally accurate control, and errors rarely impede meaning.
Proofread articles, reference chains, and noun forms to remove localized inaccuracies in otherwise well-controlled sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.