Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phones, online games, and social networking website. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Nowadays, thanks to modernisation, the method of teaching has changed considerably compared with decades ago. Developments have led students to spend more time on a variety of electronic communication devices and to become less flexible when it comes to learning lessons at school. However, I personally believe that the overall quality of learning has been fundamentally improved. On one hand, in the past, teaching children was far simpler. One reason is that they did not have any access to other study resources. They had to follow their instructors’ rules to learn from theoretical and practical materials instead of using the Internet. For example, to learn English, students mostly used school laboratories and only listened to materials recommended by their teacher. Now, students can listen and participate in hundreds of online courses through the web, each with different strategies which often confuse learners. Another issue is that cyber-addiction has lead children to spend less time studying their basic books. Playing video games, which are upgraded every month, chatting on Facebook or texting friends mean children find less opportunity to study and practice their lessons. On the other hand, some social networks and telecommunication systems are extremely useful to children. The primary factor is online learning which has become a popular method of teaching in many countries. For instance, to learn biology, children can search and find a variety of topics on the web in few seconds, or download their favourite video lessons by paying a very modest amount of money. Tutors, therefore, spend only a few hours teaching the related subjects in school. Furthermore, social networks have assisted pupils in understanding the materials better. Obviously, in many schools, colleges or even universities, students are encouraged to create study groups and participate in discussions, collecting information far more easily than in the past. In particular, at MIT in the USA, students have private accounts and can connect to any other student in the US university system. This gives them access to a far wider range of materials, ideas and approaches to data than learning in the past. In conclusion, although children had more time to study classroom materials in the past, now they get a better quality of teaching. In my view, online learning and participating in vast educational study groups has led them to learn than in the past.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Specify the development Original: Developments have led students Suggested revision: Technological developments have led students Why it matters: The modifier identifies which developments caused the change.
- 2. Clarify learning difficulty Original: less flexible when it comes to learning lessons at school Suggested revision: less receptive to classroom learning Why it matters: Flexible does not clearly describe willingness or ability to learn in class.
- 3. Complete paired transition Original: On one hand Suggested revision: On the one hand Why it matters: The standard paired expression is on the one hand and on the other hand.
- 4. Use concise negative Original: did not have any access Suggested revision: had no access Why it matters: The concise form avoids unnecessary words without changing the meaning.
- 5. Use precise adjective Original: other study resources Suggested revision: alternative learning resources Why it matters: Alternative clearly distinguishes these resources from teacher-provided materials.
- 6. Use plural reference Original: teacher Suggested revision: teachers Why it matters: The general plural subject students calls for the plural teachers.
- 7. Complete verb pattern Original: listen and participate in Suggested revision: listen to and participate in Why it matters: Listen requires the preposition to before its object.
- 8. Use standard preposition Original: through Suggested revision: on Why it matters: On the web is the conventional expression.
- 9. Use defining relative Original: strategies which often confuse Suggested revision: approaches that often confuse Why it matters: Approaches is more natural for teaching methods, and that suits the defining clause.
- 10. Correct past participle Original: lead Suggested revision: led Why it matters: The past participle of lead is led.
- 11. Use standard term Original: their basic books Suggested revision: their textbooks Why it matters: Textbooks is the natural term for books used for school study.
- 12. Use plural count noun Original: find less opportunity Suggested revision: have fewer opportunities Why it matters: Opportunity is countable here, so the plural takes fewer rather than less.
Suggested Rewrites
- Developments have led students Technological developments have led students
- less flexible when it comes to learning lessons at school less receptive to classroom learning
- On one hand On the one hand
- did not have any access had no access
- other study resources alternative learning resources
- teacher teachers
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay presents a nuanced response by acknowledging distraction and information overload while arguing that online learning has improved educational quality and access. Its strongest feature is the range of relevant examples; the main limitation is that it does not consistently distinguish whether technology makes educating children harder from whether learning outcomes are better. The priority is to answer that exact comparison directly and organise the two sides in separate paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear broadly disagreeing position is supported by relevant discussion of distraction, online resources, and collaboration, but teaching difficulty and educational quality are sometimes treated as the same issue.
State directly whether teachers face a harder task today and explain why the benefits of technology do or do not outweigh the added distraction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The contrasting argument is logically signposted and examples follow the main ideas, but presenting the entire essay as one long paragraph weakens organisation.
Use separate introduction, difficulty, benefit, and conclusion paragraphs so the two sides and final judgement are visually and logically distinct.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range for technology and education, though several combinations such as 'basic books,' 'related subjects,' and 'approaches to data' are imprecise.
Prefer exact phrases such as 'core textbooks,' 'classroom subjects,' 'learning resources,' and 'approaches to understanding information.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is generally successful, but recurring errors in participles, articles, agreement, comparison, and the final incomplete construction reduce control.
Correct forms such as 'has led' and complete comparisons, for example 'has enabled them to learn more effectively than students did in the past.'
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phones, online games, and social networking website. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.