Development in technology causes environmental problems. Some people believe the solution to these problems is everyone accepts a simpler way of life, while others say that technology can solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
People have argued about the negative effect of technology on the environment. A group of people think that rather than following the development of technology, we should have a simpler way of life. However, others disagree as they believe that technology could address environmental issues. On the one hand, it is undeniable that the rapid development of technology has caused some environmental problems. Many inventions are beneficial for human beings, but they have a catastrophic effect on the environment. For example, the invention of cars that use fossil fuel has caused some serious effect on the world. The cars produce carbon monoxide which is not only dangerous for living creatures, but it also becomes the main cause of global warming. Therefore, some people believe that we should change our lifestyle into a simpler one. One of the ways is by using a friendly environmental transportation such as using a bicycle to commute. The bicycle is not only safe for the environment, but it could also be used as a way of exercise. On the other hand, other people believe that technology could be used as a way to resolve environmental problems. As we can see that one of the biggest threat to the earth’s civilisation is the usage of the plastic bag. The waste of plastic bags has become a big issue, as they could only be composed for about 100 years. However, with the new technology, scientists have found a new way of producing plastic bags. With the new formula, plastic bags could be recycled; therefore it would resolve one of the environmental issues. In my opinion, I do believe that technology is beneficial for human beings if we used it wisely and proportionately. I personally believe that research for new technology should be continued, as we need to have improvements in life, but the government should review and monitor this research properly.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the plural noun Original: effect Suggested revision: effects Why it matters: The essay refers to several environmental consequences, so the plural form is required.
- 2. Use concise wording Original: A group of people Suggested revision: Some people Why it matters: “Some people” expresses the same idea more directly in an academic discussion.
- 3. Improve the collocation Original: rather than following the development of technology Suggested revision: rather than embracing technological development Why it matters: “Embracing technological development” is a more natural collocation for accepting technological progress.
- 4. Use a plural count noun Original: effect Suggested revision: effects Why it matters: “Effect” is countable here and must be plural after “some.”
- 5. Use the plural form Original: fuel Suggested revision: fuels Why it matters: The general category is conventionally expressed in the plural.
- 6. Generalize the noun Original: The cars Suggested revision: Cars Why it matters: No particular cars have been identified, so the bare plural is more appropriate.
- 7. Fix parallel structure Original: which is not only dangerous for living creatures, but it also becomes Suggested revision: which is not only dangerous to living creatures but also becomes Why it matters: The correlative structure requires parallel verbs and no extra subject after “but also.”
- 8. Avoid an absolute claim Original: the main cause of global warming Suggested revision: a major contributor to global warming Why it matters: “A major contributor” expresses the intended causal claim more precisely than the absolute phrase “the main cause.”
- 9. Use natural collocation Original: change our lifestyle into a simpler one Suggested revision: adopt a simpler lifestyle Why it matters: “Adopt a lifestyle” is the natural collocation for this change.
- 10. Correct the word order Original: a friendly environmental transportation Suggested revision: environmentally friendly transport Why it matters: The standard adjective phrase is “environmentally friendly,” and “transport” is uncountable here.
- 11. Use the correct phrase Original: way Suggested revision: form Why it matters: The established expression is “a form of exercise.”
- 12. Remove faulty clause opening Original: As we can see that Suggested revision: One example is that Why it matters: “As we can see” cannot grammatically introduce a clause with “that” in this structure.
Suggested Rewrites
- effect effects
- A group of people Some people
- rather than following the development of technology rather than embracing technological development
- effect effects
- fuel fuels
- The cars Cars
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay addresses both proposed solutions and gives a clear preference for continued, regulated technological development, using cars, bicycles, and plastics as relevant examples. Its main limitation is accuracy and language control: the environmental claims are oversimplified, the plastic example is unclear, and frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. Prioritise explaining one credible technology-based solution accurately and presenting the discussion in distinct paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the preference for carefully regulated technology is clear, but the supporting examples are somewhat simplistic or technically unclear.
Develop one accurate example, such as renewable energy or biodegradable materials, and explicitly compare its effectiveness with lifestyle reduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a logical overall sequence and clear contrast markers, but the lack of paragraphing and mechanical linking weaken organisation.
Use separate introduction, simpler-lifestyle, technology-solution, and opinion paragraphs, with each example tied directly to its central claim.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic, though frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision despite generally clear meaning.
Use forms such as ‘environmentally friendly transport’, ‘a form of exercise’, ‘plastic waste’, ‘decompose’, and ‘technological innovation’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms is attempted, but article, number, agreement, clause, and conditional errors occur frequently throughout.
Correct structures such as ‘serious effects’, ‘one of the biggest threats’, ‘plastic takes years to decompose’, and ‘if we use it wisely’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Development in technology causes environmental problems. Some people believe the solution to these problems is everyone accepts a simpler way of life, while others say that technology can solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
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