Modern technology is now very common in the most workplaces. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?
Sample Response
Innovative and latest technology such as internet and computer have an intense effect on the people, especially in their workplaces. As a result, the method of working is transforming continuously. These days, technology has epidemically flared and even overtaking the humans, who are the inventors of the technology. I personally believe that there are more pitfalls on relying technology than the advantages it offers.
Technology made us work less and move even least. We rely on computer and the internet to have our work done. The faster communication has made the global business a reality, though not without a cost.
No doubt, technology has negative impacts on the human. Firstly, technology had made people extremely sponger. For instance, people used to travel on foot to in the past especially, in India. As a consequence people remained active and fit and also free from ample of ailments namely fatigue, heart disease and severe disease like cancer as well. Their average life expectancy was far more than the generation we see now. Though it is claimed that technological advancement has enhanced people’s lifespan and cured many diseases, I do not see that it is true. When it was common for people to live more than 100 years in the past, many people nowadays dies at their early 60s.
Moreover, technology has a greater impact on the young generation. Most of the students and children even cannot do brainstorming in time base task. In addition to this, scholars and children, are losing their own personal skills, this is all because they are not using their own knowledge and creativity. As an example, most of the students are using Wikipedia and imitating the same text in their projects or assignment which is an abominable way to pass the exam. The way people are becoming dependent on technology, a simple mistake on a calculation or a wrong decision taken by a computer device will create a disaster. Consider the nuclear research centre where everything is computerised. If a computer virus attacks this station or a hacker hack this station, this could lead to a global catastrophe.
Our relationship with each other has seriously been affected due to the modern technology like smartphones, computers and social networking websites. People no longer interact each other in person so intimacy among them is plunging day by day. To illustrate, webcams and the internet are the predominant reasons behind this. Technology has reached to the institution where students get best study (smart classes) hence communications among students and tutors are dropping.
To encapsulates, technology has alleviated humans to some extent but, when the technology will advance to the redundant level and we will solely rely on this - it will be the Doomsday for the Earth.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural wording Original: Innovative and latest technology Suggested revision: Modern technology Why it matters: The original combination is unnatural and redundantly describes current technology.
- 2. Add articles and plural Original: internet and computer have Suggested revision: the internet and computers have Why it matters: The nouns need the definite article and a plural form to express the general meaning.
- 3. Improve collocation Original: an intense effect on the people Suggested revision: a profound effect on people Why it matters: This is a more natural collocation for describing a substantial influence.
- 4. Use natural phrase Original: the method of working Suggested revision: the way people work Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the intended idea more naturally and precisely.
- 5. Correct word choice Original: epidemically flared Suggested revision: spread rapidly Why it matters: The original words do not form a meaningful collocation for technological growth.
- 6. Complete verb phrase Original: and even overtaking Suggested revision: and is even overtaking Why it matters: The coordinated clause needs an auxiliary verb to form a complete predicate.
- 7. Remove unnecessary article Original: the humans, who are Suggested revision: humans, who are Why it matters: The general plural noun does not take the definite article here.
- 8. Correct prepositions Original: pitfalls on relying technology Suggested revision: pitfalls in relying on technology Why it matters: The noun and verb each require the corrected preposition in this construction.
- 9. Use present perfect Original: Technology made us work less Suggested revision: Technology has made us work less Why it matters: The present perfect connects the past development to its current effect.
- 10. Use comparative form Original: move even least Suggested revision: move even less Why it matters: The comparative form less is required after even in this comparison.
- 11. Use plural noun Original: rely on computer Suggested revision: rely on computers Why it matters: A general reference to this technology requires the plural count noun.
- 12. Use natural collocation Original: to have our work done Suggested revision: to get our work done Why it matters: Get our work done is the natural expression for completing work with these tools.
Suggested Rewrites
- Innovative and latest technology Modern technology
- internet and computer have the internet and computers have
- an intense effect on the people a profound effect on people
- the method of working the way people work
- epidemically flared spread rapidly
- and even overtaking and is even overtaking
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response is strongest in identifying several risks of technological dependence, including skill loss, copying, system failure, and reduced face-to-face interaction. Its main limitation is that it only briefly explains how workplace practices have changed, while much of the discussion shifts to unsupported claims about health, students, and society; frequent language errors further weaken clarity. The highest-priority improvement is to focus on workplace changes and evaluate realistic disadvantages with accurate, directly relevant examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses technological dependence at length but gives limited treatment to changes in working practices, and several examples are tangential, exaggerated, or unsupported.
Explain specific workplace changes such as automation, remote collaboration, speed, and global communication, then assess directly related risks such as deskilling, outages, and cybersecurity.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response uses paragraphs and basic sequencing, but the argument moves loosely between work, health, education, relationships, and catastrophe without a consistently clear progression.
Organise the essay into one paragraph on changed working practices and one on the main disadvantages, each with tightly related examples.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad range of vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate word choices, forms, and collocations often obscure the intended meaning.
Prefer precise familiar terms and replace expressions such as “epidemically flared,” “extremely sponger,” and “redundant level” with natural wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, tense, articles, prepositions, punctuation, and sentence boundaries reduce clarity.
Build shorter complete sentences and check subject-verb agreement and verb tense before combining ideas into complex forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Modern technology is now very common in the most workplaces. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.