The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve the crime. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
With technological advancements come numerous benefits, one of which being the decrease in crime rate. In my opinion, technology supports law enforcers in restraining and solving criminal activities.
First and foremost, nowadays, high-tech gears and programs have helped solve cases faster and more accurately. In case of milder offenses, such as burglary, CCTV cameras can help the police identify the lawbreaker through his captured images, whereas in the past, law enforcers had to rely on memory portraits from witnesses, which could often be inaccurate. For serious felonies, technological advances play an important role in bringing justice to the victims. To illustrate, in Texas, a 35-year-old cold case has just been solved using DNA technology. The 1986 murder was thought to be hopeless as the technology back then did not allow for DNA analysis, yet three decades later, justice was found thanks to innovations in crime science.
Another advantage of technological developments is its ability to prevent crimes. What this means is that through the use of technology, crime attempts can be deterred. For example, released convicts will usually be forced to wear a GPS tracking device and be put on a watchlist. Thanks to this, criminals will have to rethink their plans of recidivism as they could be busted easily and sent to jail. Compared to the old days, those who have done their sentences were free to do whatever they wanted, leading to high recidivism rates.
To conclude, with the power in curbing potential criminal activities and crime-solving, the reduction of crimes can be attributed to technological developments.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add a finite verb Original: being Suggested revision: is Why it matters: The relative clause needs the finite verb 'is'.
- 2. Add the article Original: the decrease in crime rate Suggested revision: the decrease in the crime rate Why it matters: The specific crime rate being discussed requires the definite article.
- 3. Correct the collocations Original: restraining and solving criminal activities Suggested revision: preventing criminal activity and solving crimes Why it matters: Criminal activity is prevented, whereas individual crimes are solved.
- 4. Use uncountable equipment Original: gears Suggested revision: equipment Why it matters: 'Gear' is not normally pluralized when it means equipment, and 'equipment' is clearer here.
- 5. Refine case phrasing Original: In case of milder offenses Suggested revision: In cases involving less serious offenses Why it matters: This wording refers clearly to a category of offenses rather than a contingency.
- 6. Use precise image wording Original: through his captured images Suggested revision: from recorded images Why it matters: Cameras record images from which a person can be identified; the original collocation is unnatural.
- 7. Use the standard term Original: memory portraits Suggested revision: eyewitness descriptions Why it matters: 'Eyewitness descriptions' is the natural term for information recalled by witnesses.
- 8. Match plural reference Original: its Suggested revision: their Why it matters: The pronoun referring to plural 'developments' should be 'their'.
- 9. Correct noun phrase Original: crime attempts Suggested revision: attempted crimes Why it matters: 'Attempted crimes' is the natural expression for crimes that someone tries to commit.
- 10. Use natural phrasing Original: plans of recidivism Suggested revision: plans to reoffend Why it matters: The verb phrase states the intended action more naturally than the abstract noun construction.
- 11. Use formal register Original: busted easily Suggested revision: easily caught Why it matters: 'Caught' is more suitable than the informal word 'busted' in an academic essay.
- 12. Correct legal collocation Original: done Suggested revision: served Why it matters: The standard collocation is to 'serve a sentence'.
Suggested Rewrites
- being is
- the decrease in crime rate the decrease in the crime rate
- restraining and solving criminal activities preventing criminal activity and solving crimes
- gears equipment
- In case of milder offenses In cases involving less serious offenses
- through his captured images from recorded images
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response directly supports its agreement with two well-developed lines of argument, using specific examples to show how technology can solve and deter crime. Its main limitation is occasional unnatural wording and grammatical mismatch, which slightly reduces the otherwise confident control. The highest-priority improvement is to refine collocations and pronoun agreement while preserving the clear explanation and purposeful examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and fully supported through developed explanations of both crime detection and prevention.
Qualify broad claims about crime reduction slightly to make the causal argument even more precise.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced, with focused paragraphs and cohesive devices that guide the reader smoothly through the argument.
Reduce a few explicit transition phrases where the logical relationship is already clear from the content.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often precise, though expressions such as high-tech gears and memory portraits sound unnatural.
Replace awkward collocations with established terms such as technological equipment and composite sketches.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used flexibly and meaning remains clear, despite occasional agreement, article, and clause-form errors.
Check agreement and sentence patterns in phrases such as one of which is and developments have their ability.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve the crime. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.