Some people think that the range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
There has been ubiquitous distension of technology in modern times, and it has been profusely scaling up the rungs incessantly. The breakthrough has modified the lives of people to a much larger extent. Where some standpoints say that it has magnified the lacuna in the economic dynamic of people, others argue that it has mitigated the polarity of social status. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall be discussing both the views and my notion in this regard.
There are certain people who claim that the gap between the socio-economic class has been increased in terms of luxuries of life. Certain technologies have created disparity and boldened the boundary drawn between the extreme classes. Not only do those technologies provide the wealthy and well off strata a shimmer of opulence, but they also play havoc with the aspirations of the frugal middle class. This view might blend in with the thought processes of some people who might deem it excruciating.
On the other hand, some people enlighten the essence of technology in alleviating the abyss between the extreme layers. I side with this notion as it has paved a way for the deprived column of people to be benefitted in a gigantic capacity. Education, which once was not able to be provided and imparted to some section due to unaffordability of the physical institutions are now relayed to everyone regardless of economic status with a minimal expenditure. Moreover, the skills and courses that one has to look around for in some premier coaching institutes and institutional setup, are now very reasonably priced in the online medium that could be opted for by many. Even in the case of women who couldn’t go out to work due to a plethora of restrictions are now very much employed in the wake of work from home because of the sudden surge of technologies. This would, in turn, sum up in bolstering the weaker economic lot.
Hence, in conclusion, it could be argued that technology has been a benediction to humanity and a major factor in the drifting of all the sections equally and indistinctively. It has indeed bridged the gap between the rich and the poor.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: modified the lives of people Suggested revision: changed people’s lives Why it matters: The revised expression is more natural and concise.
- 2. Use concise degree Original: to a much larger extent Suggested revision: to a great extent Why it matters: This phrase expresses substantial impact without an unsupported comparison.
- 3. Introduce the contrast Original: Where some standpoints say Suggested revision: While some people argue Why it matters: While correctly introduces the contrast, and people can make an argument whereas standpoints cannot speak.
- 4. Use the correct phrase Original: magnified the lacuna Suggested revision: widened the gap Why it matters: The replacement uses the established expression for increasing inequality.
- 5. Clarify the reference Original: the economic dynamic of people Suggested revision: people’s economic circumstances Why it matters: The revised phrase states the economic dimension clearly.
- 6. Use precise wording Original: mitigated the polarity of social status Suggested revision: reduced social inequality Why it matters: This wording expresses the claimed narrowing of social divisions directly.
- 7. Remove the article Original: both the views Suggested revision: both views Why it matters: Both does not take the definite article before this plural noun.
- 8. Use the plural noun Original: the socio-economic class Suggested revision: socio-economic classes Why it matters: The argument compares more than one social class, so a plural form is required.
- 9. Use active form Original: has been increased Suggested revision: has increased Why it matters: The gap itself is the subject that has grown, so the intransitive active form is needed.
- 10. Clarify the dimension Original: in terms of luxuries of life Suggested revision: in terms of access to life’s luxuries Why it matters: The revision makes clear that unequal access, rather than the luxuries themselves, is being compared.
- 11. Choose the right verb Original: boldened Suggested revision: reinforced Why it matters: Reinforced naturally describes making an existing boundary stronger.
- 12. Name the groups clearly Original: the extreme classes Suggested revision: the richest and poorest classes Why it matters: The replacement identifies the two social extremes explicitly.
Suggested Rewrites
- modified the lives of people changed people’s lives
- to a much larger extent to a great extent
- Where some standpoints say While some people argue
- magnified the lacuna widened the gap
- the economic dynamic of people people’s economic circumstances
- mitigated the polarity of social status reduced social inequality
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response states a clear opinion and gives substantial support for technology's equalising effect, especially through education and remote work. The opposing view is comparatively vague, and the otherwise ambitious language is repeatedly weakened by unnatural word combinations and several faulty sentence structures. The highest priority is to replace inflated phrasing with precise, natural vocabulary while developing the widening-gap argument through a specific mechanism and example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the opinion is clear, but the widening-gap argument remains general while the opposing case is much better developed.
Explain one concrete way technology advantages wealthier groups and support it with a specific example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear overall progression with purposeful paragraphs, although some vague sentences weaken the flow within ideas.
Use clearer topic claims and ensure every following sentence advances or illustrates that exact claim.
Lexical Resource
The writer attempts a wide and ambitious vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate collocations and inflated word choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Prefer familiar, exact expressions and verify collocations instead of substituting ornate words for straightforward meanings.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a good range of complex forms and many clear sentences, but agreement and clause-structure errors recur in longer constructions.
Check each complex sentence for a complete main clause and consistent subject-verb agreement before adding dependent clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that the range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.