Modern technology has a great impact on our environment. Some say that people should adopt a simple lifestyle to solve this problem, while others argue that the technology itself should provide a solution. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
This contemporary milieu has been influenced by new innovation in technology, which has affected the natural environment. There are arguments to suggest that people should live in a traditional form of lifestyle to rectify ecological problems. However, it can be argued that the technology can offer solutions to tackle the environmental destruction. Primarily, it is indubitable that the natural habitat could be preserved if most people adapted to manual labour rather than machines. It might be the case that some farmers use mechanical ploughs, which emits a considerable amount of fumes, to weed their farm. There is a view that these machines, which hasten the productivity, have helped people from their daily routine task. As a result, the demand of machines will also lead to the production of carbon dioxide, which will contribute to global warming. Furthermore, there are reasons to suggest that some of the machines have been used to exploit environmental resources. Taking into consideration the use of the chain saw that accelerates the logging of live trees. It is also possible that some businessmen have established factories, and most of the equipment is reliant on fossil fuel. In the previous era, majority of primitive people have survived even without the use of technology, thus in this modern world, some would consider that people can still thrive by reducing the usage of machines. In contrast, it can never be denied that the advent of technology has contributed to the development of a country and even the preservation of mother earth can be granted by modern studies. To illustrate, there is a feasible study6 that asserts that the ultraviolet rays coming from the sun can be prevented through the use of mirrors which will b flown in the space. As a result, the sun rays will be deflected by the million of mirrors in the space, and that will be viable because of the continuous development in technology. In addition, the possibility to recycle the old goods and rubbish has become realistic because of the application of technology. For instance, the disintegration of matter and moulding to a new form can be ascribed to advances in machinery and computers. In my opinion, time is inevitably progressing, and people need to adapt to the modern culture. Moreover, there has been as strict legislation that precludes people from abusing the environmental resource, thus they might seldom use technology to harm the forest. To conclude, some people believe that they should not become more reliant on machines in order to maintain the wealth of the environment, yet it is compelling that technology has been proven to produce amenable aid to resolve the environmental hazards and pollution.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundancy Original: new innovation Suggested revision: innovation Why it matters: 'Innovation' already means something new.
- 2. Use concise wording Original: traditional form of lifestyle Suggested revision: traditional lifestyle Why it matters: The shorter phrase expresses the same idea more naturally.
- 3. Remove article Original: the technology can offer Suggested revision: technology can offer Why it matters: 'Technology' is uncountable when used in this general sense.
- 4. Remove article Original: the environmental destruction Suggested revision: environmental destruction Why it matters: The abstract noun is used generally here and does not need 'the'.
- 5. Correct verb choice Original: adapted Suggested revision: switched Why it matters: 'Adapted to' means became accustomed to, rather than changed from machines to manual work.
- 6. Match subject and verb Original: emits Suggested revision: emit Why it matters: The plural antecedent 'ploughs' requires the plural verb 'emit'.
- 7. Correct collocation Original: hasten the productivity Suggested revision: increase productivity Why it matters: Productivity is increased, not hastened.
- 8. Correct verb pattern Original: helped Suggested revision: freed Why it matters: 'Free someone from' accurately expresses relief from a task.
- 9. Use plural noun Original: task Suggested revision: tasks Why it matters: The general reference requires a plural count noun.
- 10. Correct preposition Original: of Suggested revision: for Why it matters: The standard collocation is 'demand for' a product.
- 11. Add article Original: majority of primitive people Suggested revision: the majority of people Why it matters: 'Majority' needs the definite article here, and 'people' conveys the intended group neutrally.
- 12. Use past simple Original: have survived even without Suggested revision: survived even without Why it matters: A completed past era calls for the past simple rather than the present perfect.
Suggested Rewrites
- new innovation innovation
- traditional form of lifestyle traditional lifestyle
- the technology can offer technology can offer
- the environmental destruction environmental destruction
- adapted switched
- emits emit
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is that it covers both prescribed approaches and offers several relevant examples, from reduced machinery use to recycling technology, while stating a preference for technological solutions. Its main limitation is that some reasoning and examples are implausible or unclear, and dense inaccurate language often obscures the argument. The highest-priority improvement is to select credible environmental solutions and explain them in focused paragraphs using direct, grammatically controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and a personal preference is given, but several examples are weak, implausible, or insufficiently connected to the central comparison.
Use one credible example for lifestyle change and one for technological innovation, then explain why the preferred approach is more effective.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a recognisable sequence from simpler living to technological solutions and opinion, but the single long paragraph and occasional fragments weaken progression.
Separate the two views and personal evaluation into focused paragraphs, each with a clear claim-to-example-to-consequence structure.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad environmental and technological vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices make meaning imprecise.
Prefer direct terms and replace phrases such as “hasten the productivity,” “preservation of mother earth can be granted,” and “amenable aid.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is attempted, but frequent agreement, article, preposition, fragment, and clause-control errors reduce clarity.
Use shorter complete sentences and check subject-verb agreement and articles before combining clauses into complex structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Modern technology has a great impact on our environment. Some say that people should adopt a simple lifestyle to solve this problem, while others argue that the technology itself should provide a solution. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.