Modern technology is creating a single world culture. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Sample Response
At the present time, modern technology has created a mono-cultural world. Due to the internet, rapid communication facility, improved transportation facility, TV, satellite channels etc. people are sharing similar information and the modern technology has made it possible to access data very easily. People all over the world are using similar technology, accessing same websites, watching same movies and following same fashion styles. As a consequence, the tradition, lifestyle and way of life all over the world are getting similar. Therefore, people are widely accepting cultures, fashions and trends of other countries and sometimes forgetting their own cultures. I partially disagree with the rubric above and it'll be shown in the following essay. Currently, almost in every home has their own TV and the same data are shown on it. Channels all over the world are broadcasting programs and people are accessing more international channels than their national channels. For instance, when I was younger I used to watch one TV show and amazingly, my friend from another country also watched it every day. Another example can be, when there is any international sports event, people all over the world are watching it at the same time. It's obvious from my example that it doesn't matter where you are living; the mass media is the same in every country. Thus, the influence of TV and the internet is quite enormous in creating a single culture. Yet, this is partial as many people around the world are still struggling to earn their daily bread and the technological facilities are inaccessible to them. However, the opinion of human beings shouldn't rely on only the mass media. People should limit themselves from the technology that we have nowadays. Because the consequences aren't just going to come in a psychological way but in a physical way as well we should be very wary of this. For example, while an individual is working in front of the computer his body is adjusting itself because in a chair the whole mass of person lays on his back and in the near future it can cause fatal diseases such as numbness or even paralysis. This example clearly shows that the mass media is impacting on people only partially but not entirely. The modern technology has made our life easier and more convenient and yet there exist many demerits that we can’t deny. After analysing both benefits and drawbacks of modern technology, I've concluded that the modern technology has indeed reduced the distance and gap among nations but the difference still persists.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use standard spelling Original: mono-cultural world Suggested revision: monocultural world Why it matters: 'Monocultural' is conventionally written as one word.
- 2. Add definite article Original: accessing same websites Suggested revision: accessing the same websites Why it matters: The definite article is required before 'same'.
- 3. Add definite article Original: watching same movies Suggested revision: watching the same movies Why it matters: Use 'the' before 'same' in this comparison.
- 4. Add definite article Original: following same fashion styles Suggested revision: following the same fashion styles Why it matters: The adjective 'same' requires the definite article here.
- 5. Remove repetition Original: the tradition, lifestyle and way of life Suggested revision: traditions and lifestyles Why it matters: 'Lifestyle' and 'way of life' repeat the same idea, while the global reference calls for plurals.
- 6. Use formal wording Original: are getting similar Suggested revision: are becoming more similar Why it matters: The revision expresses the gradual change more precisely and formally.
- 7. Refer to task clearly Original: rubric Suggested revision: statement Why it matters: A rubric is a set of assessment instructions, whereas the writer is responding to a statement.
- 8. State purpose directly Original: it'll be shown in the following essay Suggested revision: I will explain this position below Why it matters: The active phrasing gives the forward reference a clear subject.
- 9. Use suitable media noun Original: the same data are shown on it Suggested revision: the same content is shown on it Why it matters: Television broadcasts content rather than data in this context.
- 10. Fix comparison Original: more international channels than their national channels Suggested revision: more international channels than national ones Why it matters: The comparison needs the substitute 'ones' and should not imply that viewers own the channels.
- 11. Complete example phrase Original: Another example can be, Suggested revision: Another example is that Why it matters: The revised clause introduces the following example grammatically without an unnecessary comma.
- 12. Use concise event phrase Original: when there is any international sports event Suggested revision: during an international sporting event Why it matters: The revision is more concise and uses the conventional adjective 'sporting'.
Suggested Rewrites
- mono-cultural world monocultural world
- accessing same websites accessing the same websites
- watching same movies watching the same movies
- following same fashion styles following the same fashion styles
- the tradition, lifestyle and way of life traditions and lifestyles
- are getting similar are becoming more similar
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay offers a nuanced position that technology encourages cultural convergence without eliminating all differences, and its television and shared-event examples support this effectively. Its main limitation is focus: a substantial discussion of posture and physical illness does not explain world culture and interrupts the argument. Prioritise relevant counterarguments, such as unequal access and persistent local traditions, and remove unrelated health effects.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The partial disagreement is clear and supported by relevant media and unequal-access points, but the extended health discussion is irrelevant to whether technology creates one culture.
Develop cultural resistance through local traditions, languages, or unequal access instead of discussing physical effects of computer use.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response initially moves coherently from convergence to its limits, but absent paragraphing and the abrupt health digression disrupt overall progression.
Organise one paragraph on cultural similarity and another on reasons diversity persists, then conclude by weighing those strands.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for media, technology, and culture, but repetition and frequent inaccurate collocations limit precision.
Use natural terms such as 'cultural convergence,' 'access the same media,' 'technological inequality,' and 'retain local traditions.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex ideas are attempted, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, sentence boundaries, pronouns, and clause construction sometimes impede clarity.
Break run-on sentences into complete clauses and check subject-verb agreement in sentences about homes, media, and traditions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Modern technology is creating a single world culture. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.