Children below the age of sixteen should not be allowed in public places after midnight unless they are accompanied by an adult who is responsible for them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many parents do not allow their teenage children to be in public places at night and accompany them if they need to go to any public place at night. In my opinion, this is a valid way of ensuring the safety of such adolescents.
Firstly, the children under 16boys and girls who are less than 16 years old do not need to be outside, especially inat public places at midnight. They should be at home with their parents and within secure premiseswithin the secured premises. Public places at midnight in many cases are not securesecured and being there without a proper guardian is not safe at all for such young peoplekids. In urban areas, peopleIn urban area people mostly stay at home at midnightin the midnight and do not go outside unless it is urgentif this is urgent. The police patrols and other security authorities may regard someone outside at night as suspiciousfind it suspicious if they find someone at night. So being at public places at midnight is not a good idea.
Secondly, criminalsthe rogue people and criminals find it easiersuitable to operate at night. There is a chancechange that a young boy or girl might become a victim of such a crimea victim of such crime and that’s why they should not be allowed to be outside at night.
In metropolitan citiesIn a metropolitan city, many people remain outside until late at nighttill the late night but it is still unsafebut still this is not safe for young children. It is customary forIt is a custom that children towould be outside in broad daylight while they should be in the safety of their homesin safe-zone, home, at night.
In conclusion, in most parts of the worldin most of the parts of the world children less than 16 years old remain at home at midnight and this is necessary for their safety. If they really need to go outside at midnight, a responsible guardian or parentproper guardian or parents should always accompany them.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear agreement with the proposed restriction and maintains a logical focus on protecting young people at night. Its main limitation is that the supporting ideas largely repeat the same safety claim and rely on broad assertions rather than developed reasoning. The highest-priority improvement is to explain distinct risks and the responsible-adult exception with specific, credible examples while reducing repetition.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear position and relevant safety-based reasons, but its support is repetitive and only moderately developed.
Develop separate lines of reasoning about particular risks and explain more fully why responsible adult accompaniment addresses them.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall sequence is easy to follow, though paragraphing separates closely related safety points and some linking is mechanical.
Group overlapping claims into one developed paragraph and use a distinct second paragraph to examine the exception for accompanied children.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic, but several awkward or inaccurate choices reduce precision, including rogue people, secured premises, and change for chance.
Use natural collocations for crime, public safety, and supervision, and proofread carefully for word-form or typing errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the argument clearly, despite recurring errors with articles, prepositions, agreement, and phrasing.
Improve control of article and preposition use in phrases about places and times, while checking subject-verb agreement in longer sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Children below the age of sixteen should not be allowed in public places after midnight unless they are accompanied by an adult who is responsible for them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.