Today’s young generation is facing many problems at school and at home. What are the problems? What can parents do to help their teenage children?
Sample Response
Young people today are under a lot of pressure, which seems to come from many directions. The problems they are experiencing happen not only at school, but also at home, and it seems that without adult guidance, our young generation will continue to struggle.
Teenage years have never been simple, and many would agree that the amount of challenges has only increased with the passage of time. Bullying has been a problem for quite a while, and children and adolescents would have experienced it at school in the past, but then it would stop at home. At present, however, things have been made worse by social media penetrating the supposedly safe space of our teenagers. The unfortunate behaviour of their peers can now reach them even in their bedrooms, causing them constant distress.
Another issue troubling many young people is the pressure to succeed by their families. Whether at school or at home, they often feel as if they are not smart enough, which creates overwhelm and despair. Understandably, their parents are pursuing a worthy goal of ensuring their children get a great start in life; however, many teens feel that they are failing their families when they don’t live up to their expectations. This often leads to dishonest and unethical behaviour, such as cheating on tests or plagiarising other students’ work. When uncovered, these incidents have a profound effect on young people’s future careers, not to mention their emotional well-being.
It is hard to underestimate the importance of parental support to navigating life as a young person. From helping teens build a positive body image and self-esteem, to handling classmates’ difficult behaviour, to guidance where study is concerned, parents can make a world of difference. Talking to their sons and daughters about matters that worry them, listening and making non-judgmental suggestions are great ways to help. Getting a professional involved where necessary and engaging with teachers, councilors and coaches is another opportunity for parents to provide assistance. Last but not least, parents can make their children better and happier people by simply giving them unconditional love.
To sum up, being a young person in the modern world isn’t easy. By banding together and paying careful attention to their teens, families can help them overcome any obstacles to becoming successful adults.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural reference Original: our young generation Suggested revision: young people Why it matters: This concise reference sounds more natural and avoids an unnecessarily collective label.
- 2. Use count noun quantifier Original: amount Suggested revision: number Why it matters: ‘Challenges’ is countable, so it takes ‘number’ rather than ‘amount’.
- 3. Simplify past tense Original: would have experienced it at school in the past Suggested revision: experienced it at school in the past Why it matters: The simple past expresses this general past situation more clearly than the conditional perfect.
- 4. Refine the metaphor Original: social media penetrating the supposedly safe space Suggested revision: social media intruding into the supposedly safe space Why it matters: ‘Intruding into’ conveys unwanted entry into a private space more precisely.
- 5. Clarify the source Original: pressure to succeed by their families Suggested revision: pressure from their families to succeed Why it matters: The revised preposition order clearly identifies families as the source of pressure.
- 6. Use natural expression Original: creates overwhelm Suggested revision: causes them to feel overwhelmed Why it matters: ‘Overwhelm’ is unnatural as a noun in this context, so the adjective construction is clearer.
- 7. Tighten the phrasing Original: their parents are pursuing a worthy goal of ensuring Suggested revision: their parents aim to ensure Why it matters: The concise verb phrase preserves the positive intention without an awkward nominal construction.
- 8. Correct preposition Original: to Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The noun ‘support’ takes ‘in’ before a gerund in this construction.
- 9. Keep list parallel Original: to guidance where study is concerned Suggested revision: to providing guidance with their studies Why it matters: The gerund ‘providing’ makes this item parallel with ‘helping’ and ‘handling’.
- 10. Correct professional term Original: councilors Suggested revision: counsellors Why it matters: In the essay’s British English style, the professionals are spelled ‘counsellors’.
Suggested Rewrites
- our young generation young people
- amount number
- would have experienced it at school in the past experienced it at school in the past
- social media penetrating the supposedly safe space social media intruding into the supposedly safe space
- pressure to succeed by their families pressure from their families to succeed
- creates overwhelm causes them to feel overwhelmed
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response directly and thoroughly answers both questions, developing relevant problems and practical parental responses with strong control of progression and language. A few isolated expressions are slightly awkward or imprecise, but they do not disrupt the argument or readability. The highest-priority refinement is to polish these small collocational choices so that an already mature and persuasive discussion is consistently precise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are fully addressed through well-developed problems and a substantial range of relevant parental actions.
Strengthen the already effective response by linking each proposed parental action even more explicitly to the problems previously identified.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically sequenced, well paragraphed, and cohesively connected without excessive reliance on formulaic devices.
Refine the transition into the solutions paragraph by briefly signalling how its advice responds to the two preceding problems.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas effectively, with only occasional awkward choices such as 'creates overwhelm.'
Replace the few unnatural combinations with idiomatic alternatives, such as 'causes overwhelming pressure' or 'creates a sense of despair.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence forms is used accurately and flexibly, with only minor isolated lapses.
Polish small points of noun choice and preposition use, including 'number of challenges' and 'support in navigating life.'
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today’s young generation is facing many problems at school and at home. What are the problems? What can parents do to help their teenage children?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.