Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
Television is considered useful for education by some, while others claim that it only serves as entertainmentserves entertainment purposes. While certain people believe television is only for entertainment as it takes up too much timesteals time, this essay claims that it is valuable as educational programs on television can help a child’s intellect.
Some believe television is only useful for entertainment since it takes away time. This is because they feel that children who spend too much time in front of the television may miss out on life’s opportunities and that it is much more productive to spend time with friends, to do homeworkto work on homework, to go outside, or to relax instead of watching television. For example, kids who watch too much television tend to spend less time on their homeworkwork less on their homework, which results in poor performance in school. However, I would argue that television is important as educationaleducation programs can help boostaid in boosting children’s intellect.
Educational programs on television can help children become more intelligent. Kids who watch informative and educational shows learn to solve problems and develop strong mental maths skills. For instance, several studies have shown that kids are more likely to outperform their peers on tests when they watch educational shows. Additionally, studies have shown that children who watch cartoons most of the time score lowerless than those who watch educational shows. Therefore, I strongly believe educational shows on television encourage intellectual development in children.
In conclusion, while television is seen as only useful for entertainment because it takeseats up time, watching informative educational shows on television can develop a child’s intellectual skills.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear position, orderly structure, and focused explanation of how educational television may benefit children. Its main limitation is that the opposing view is framed mainly as television wasting time, rather than fully explaining why some consider it useful only for entertainment. The highest-priority improvement is to develop that view more accurately and support both sides with less repetitive evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses both sides and maintains a clear opinion, but the entertainment-only view is only partially and somewhat indirectly addressed.
Explain why supporters see television as entertainment rather than education, then evaluate that reasoning against the educational case.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear paragraph sequence with effective internal progression, although some points and transitions are repetitive.
Reduce repeated restatements of the position and use each paragraph ending to sharpen the comparison between views.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and generally appropriate, but repetition and several awkward choices reduce precision.
Use more exact alternatives for repeated terms and revise combinations such as education programs and score less.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is used accurately, with only occasional awkward constructions that do not affect clarity.
Polish comparative and complement structures so longer sentences remain fully natural as well as grammatically controlled.