Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Television is considered useful for education by some, while others claim that it only serves entertainment purposes. While certain people believe television is only for entertainment as it steals time, this essay claims that it is valuable as educational programs on television can help a child’s intellect.
Some believe television is only useful for entertainment since it takes away time. This is because they feel that children who spend too much time in front of the television may miss out on life’s opportunities and that it is much more productive to spend time with friends, to work on homework, to go outside, or to relax instead of watching television. For example, kids who watch too much television tend to work less on their homework, which results in poor performance in school. However, I would argue that television is important as education programs can aid in boosting children’s intellect.
Educational programs on television can help children become more intelligent. Kids who watch informative and educational shows learn to solve problems and develop strong mental maths skills. For instance, several studies have shown that kids are more likely to outperform their peers on tests when they watch educational shows. Additionally, studies have shown that children who watch cartoons most of the time score less than those who watch educational shows. Therefore, I strongly believe educational shows on television encourage intellectual development in children.
In conclusion, while television is seen as only useful for entertainment because it eats up time, watching informative educational shows on television can develop a child’s intellectual skills.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural expression Original: serves entertainment purposes Suggested revision: serves as entertainment Why it matters: “Serves as entertainment” is the more idiomatic expression for this function.
- 2. Use formal wording Original: steals time Suggested revision: takes up too much time Why it matters: The revision states the idea more precisely and formally.
- 3. Use standard collocation Original: to work on homework Suggested revision: to do homework Why it matters: English normally uses the collocation “do homework.”
- 4. Clarify the meaning Original: work less on their homework Suggested revision: spend less time on their homework Why it matters: This wording accurately expresses reduced time spent on homework.
- 5. Use adjective form Original: education Suggested revision: educational Why it matters: The adjective “educational” is needed to modify “programs.”
- 6. Make wording direct Original: aid in boosting Suggested revision: help boost Why it matters: The revision is more concise without changing the claim.
- 7. Use comparison correctly Original: less Suggested revision: lower Why it matters: Test scores are described as higher or lower, not more or less.
- 8. Use formal wording Original: eats Suggested revision: takes Why it matters: “Takes up time” is more suitable for a formal essay.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: While certain people believe television is only for entertainment as it steals time, this essay claims that it is valuable as educational programs on television can help a child’s intellect. Suggested revision: While some people believe television is useful only for entertainment because it takes up time, I believe it also has educational value because educational programs can develop a child’s intellect. Why it matters: The rewrite removes repeated ambiguous uses of “as” and states the contrast more clearly.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: This is because they feel that children who spend too much time in front of the television may miss out on life’s opportunities and that it is much more productive to spend time with friends, to work on homework, to go outside, or to relax instead of watching television. Suggested revision: They feel that children who spend too much time in front of the television may miss other opportunities and could use that time more productively by seeing friends, doing homework, going outside, or relaxing. Why it matters: The rewrite reduces the overloaded clause structure and makes the list grammatically parallel.
Suggested Rewrites
- serves entertainment purposes serves as entertainment
- steals time takes up too much time
- to work on homework to do homework
- work less on their homework spend less time on their homework
- education educational
- aid in boosting help boost
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear position, orderly structure, and focused explanation of how educational television may benefit children. Its main limitation is that the opposing view is framed mainly as television wasting time, rather than fully explaining why some consider it useful only for entertainment. The highest-priority improvement is to develop that view more accurately and support both sides with less repetitive evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses both sides and maintains a clear opinion, but the entertainment-only view is only partially and somewhat indirectly addressed.
Explain why supporters see television as entertainment rather than education, then evaluate that reasoning against the educational case.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear paragraph sequence with effective internal progression, although some points and transitions are repetitive.
Reduce repeated restatements of the position and use each paragraph ending to sharpen the comparison between views.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and generally appropriate, but repetition and several awkward choices reduce precision.
Use more exact alternatives for repeated terms and revise combinations such as education programs and score less.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is used accurately, with only occasional awkward constructions that do not affect clarity.
Polish comparative and complement structures so longer sentences remain fully natural as well as grammatically controlled.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.