These days people in some countries are living in a “throw-away” society which means people use things in a short time then throw them away. Causes and problems.
Sample Response
It is now common to see people purchase things, for example cell phones and clothes, and only use them for a short period. A number of factors contribute to this throwaway culture and this leads to a range of dire consequences, which will be outlined in the essay below.
One main reason for the modern throwaway culture is that society is greatly affected by consumerism that encourages the mass production of short-lived goods and the consumption of those goods. The market is also flooded with cheap, single-use products, making it easier to buy things in large quantities and dispose of them even before they become unusable. Another point to consider here is that the purpose for which we buy and use consumer products has changed over the past decades. For example, we no longer wait until our clothes wear out to make new purchases; instead, our decisions to buy new clothes are heavily influenced by a number of other incentives, be it better appearances or new fashion patterns.
This practice inflicts severe damage on the environment. Products constantly ending up in trash bins will cause landfills to become overloaded with massive piles of garbage, only a small proportion of which is disposed of properly to avoid harm to the environment. The rest of the garbage, usually non-recyclable and plastic items, is either buried underground or burnt. This can increase air and land pollution levels, and directly harm the lives of people living in the throwaway society. Furthermore, natural resources that fuel the manufacturing of consumer products can be depleted due to the market’s nonstop demand for those commodities.
In conclusion, a throwaway culture which wreaks devastation on our environment and depletes our natural resources is formed largely by modern consumerism.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the reference Original: this leads Suggested revision: these factors lead Why it matters: Naming the plural factors removes ambiguity about what produces the consequences.
- 2. Use concise signposting Original: outlined in the essay below Suggested revision: discussed below Why it matters: The shorter phrase provides the same signposting without unnecessary wording.
- 3. Avoid repetition Original: the consumption of those goods Suggested revision: their consumption Why it matters: The pronoun avoids repeating goods while retaining a clear reference.
- 4. State meaning precisely Original: even before they become unusable Suggested revision: while they are still usable Why it matters: The revision directly conveys that usable products are discarded prematurely.
- 5. Improve natural phrasing Original: purpose for which we buy and use consumer products Suggested revision: reasons why we buy consumer products Why it matters: Reasons why more naturally describes the changing motivations for purchases.
- 6. Correct noun phrase Original: better appearances Suggested revision: a desire for a better appearance Why it matters: Appearance is normally singular when referring generally to how a person looks.
- 7. Use correct collocation Original: patterns Suggested revision: trends Why it matters: Fashion trends is the standard collocation for changing popular styles.
- 8. Add relative clause Original: Products constantly ending up in trash bins Suggested revision: Products that constantly end up in rubbish bins Why it matters: The relative clause forms a clear grammatical subject for the main verb.
- 9. Use concise wording Original: massive piles of garbage Suggested revision: large amounts of waste Why it matters: The revised phrase is more concise and suitably formal for an academic essay.
- 10. Fix parallel structure Original: usually non-recyclable and plastic items Suggested revision: usually non-recyclable items and plastics Why it matters: The revision coordinates two clear noun categories rather than an adjective and a noun phrase.
- 11. Use direct wording Original: harm the lives of people Suggested revision: harm people Why it matters: The shorter wording conveys the same claim more directly and naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- this leads these factors lead
- outlined in the essay below discussed below
- the consumption of those goods their consumption
- even before they become unusable while they are still usable
- purpose for which we buy and use consumer products reasons why we buy consumer products
- better appearances a desire for a better appearance
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response directly covers both causes and problems, sustaining a clear cause-and-effect structure with precise environmental vocabulary and well-controlled complex sentences. Its main limitation is that some consequences remain general rather than being illustrated or extended with a concrete example, although the discussion is already strong and focused. To improve further, deepen one consequence with specific evidence and refine a few broad phrases for maximum precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both causes and problems directly, developing each side with relevant and well-supported ideas.
Add one concise concrete example to deepen the otherwise strong explanation of environmental consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically sequenced in purposeful paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the argument without distracting from it.
Make the transition between the two causes slightly more implicit for an even smoother argumentative flow.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of precise topic vocabulary conveys causes and environmental effects naturally, with only minor imprecision.
Sharpen broad phrases such as 'harm the lives of people' by naming the specific health or living impact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex and simple structures are varied and consistently well controlled, with only minor punctuation or phrasing lapses.
Polish punctuation around inserted examples and long modifying clauses to make already accurate sentences even cleaner.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
These days people in some countries are living in a “throw-away” society which means people use things in a short time then throw them away. Causes and problems.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.