Many people believe that the human society has developed into a throw-away society, which is filled with plastic bags and rubbish. What are the causes and solutions?
Sample Response
It is not incredible to say that plastic bags and rubbish, if not treated properly, will make the world become a huge garbage land. Moreover, i believe that excessive usages and lack of awareness about environmental problems should be directly responsible for this. Plastic bags, although their chemical elements can not disintegrate within a hundred year, have been produced and used with no control. After consumption, people oftens throw them and reused processes were not treated properly.Therefrom, with relentless manufacture, nowhere can you fail to see plastic bags and waste. Another reason should be rooted by the weak awareness of human about this pollution. Residents, especially people who are knowledge-illiterate, have not deliberately perceived the pollution level of waste while government and big companies have just focused on developing the economy. It can be indicated that poor countries where most people were not received a good education about garbage’s effects have more amount of junk than the rest. In order to disentangle this conundrum, creating recycled materials is always put high on solution list of priority. Plastic bags should be replaced by paper bags as well as after using, plastic elements need to be recycled for other purposes by a green system. Besides, giving and popularizing instructions in large to reduce garbage’s pollution may make a significant breakthrough in this field. For example, should schools teach students how to separate each type of waste, the recycle processes will be easier and society will be indeed cleaner. In sum, customers should use plastic bags on a deliberate way as well as the pollution and the instructions for this need to be popularized in order to enhance human’s awareness. Whether our society has become a mess of junk depends on action of every single person in the planet.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the double negative Original: It is not incredible Suggested revision: It is reasonable Why it matters: The double negative obscures the intended claim that the outcome is plausible.
- 2. Fix the verb structure Original: make the world become a huge garbage land Suggested revision: turn the world into a huge landfill Why it matters: Turn into is the natural structure for describing this transformation.
- 3. Capitalise the pronoun Original: i Suggested revision: I Why it matters: The first-person pronoun I must always be capitalised.
- 4. Use the uncountable noun Original: usages Suggested revision: use Why it matters: Use is uncountable when referring generally to consumption.
- 5. Remove the unnecessary modal Original: should be directly responsible Suggested revision: are directly responsible Why it matters: The sentence presents a direct causal claim, so the modal should is inappropriate.
- 6. Use natural wording Original: relentless manufacture Suggested revision: continuous production Why it matters: Continuous production expresses ongoing manufacture more naturally in this context.
- 7. Use the plural noun Original: year Suggested revision: years Why it matters: A quantity greater than one requires the plural form years.
- 8. Use a clear connector Original: Therefrom Suggested revision: Consequently Why it matters: Consequently clearly signals the result of uncontrolled disposal and production.
- 9. Fix the passive phrase Original: reason should be rooted by Suggested revision: reason is rooted in Why it matters: Rooted in is the correct construction for identifying an underlying cause.
- 10. Use natural phrasing Original: weak awareness of human about this pollution Suggested revision: limited public awareness of this pollution Why it matters: Public awareness of is the standard expression for collective understanding.
- 11. Replace the invalid term Original: knowledge-illiterate Suggested revision: poorly educated Why it matters: Knowledge-illiterate is not a standard or clear description of education level.
- 12. Use plural institutions Original: government and big companies Suggested revision: governments and large companies Why it matters: The general reference requires a plural noun, and large is more formal than big.
Suggested Rewrites
- It is not incredible It is reasonable
- make the world become a huge garbage land turn the world into a huge landfill
- i I
- usages use
- should be directly responsible are directly responsible
- relentless manufacture continuous production
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies relevant causes and proposes practical solutions, with the school recycling example providing useful support. Its effectiveness is reduced by the single-block organization and frequent awkward or inaccurate language, which sometimes makes relationships between ideas difficult to follow. The highest-priority improvement is to separate causes from solutions into clear paragraphs and express each point through shorter, grammatically controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both causes and solutions with relevant ideas, although several explanations remain broad or insufficiently supported.
Explain how each cause produces waste and show more concretely how each proposed measure would reduce it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall cause-to-solution sequence is traceable, but the absence of paragraphing and some awkward linking weaken progression.
Divide the response into an introduction, separate cause and solution paragraphs, and a concise conclusion with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of environmental vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate word formation and collocation obscure precision.
Replace unnatural combinations with common academic phrases and verify the form and meaning of less familiar words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted successfully, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, tense, and clause formation disrupt fluency.
Focus on accurate sentence boundaries and core clause patterns before adding inversions or other ambitious structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people believe that the human society has developed into a throw-away society, which is filled with plastic bags and rubbish. What are the causes and solutions?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.