Tourism is an excellent way to develop a country, but it can also cause harm. How can countries ensure that tourism benefits the development?
Sample Response
In general, it is a ubiquitous notion that almost the entire world’s poor live in countries where tourism is a growing industry. Despite this situationfactor, tourism does not benefit the poorest. There are some beneficial ways that help generate income from tourismaid to generate the income by tourism in order to improve people’s living standardsameliorate the people’s lifestyle without damagingannihilating traditional cultures. In this essay, I will cite several points as the reasons forof this issue and will proposewill pursue to give some fitting solutions.
One of the basic causes of this problem is that the tourism industryeconomics is not being developed in thea right way. Certain organisationsThe certain organisations earn substantial revenueget lofty money from tourism and reinvest the revenue in this businessinvest the gained money to this business activity again. Subsequently, this cycle continues indefinitelythe available process persists protractedly. Hence, the poor cannot take advantage of it and their difficult living conditionstheir difficult life condition remains unchangedstays at its level. As the impeccable solution to this problem is that the government should impose the rule about creating the supplementary stock for poor people.
Another reason is forming from the low prices. Many tourists tend to come to the countries where the costs are cheaper. As a resultAs an implication, the government cannot obtain the desirable amount of money and is obliged to raise taxessoar the taxes. In this circumstance, poor people’s dwelling deteriorates gradually. In addition, the large number of touriststhe numerous of tourist can contribute to altering local culturesaltering persons’ cultures and it can be a much bigger inevitable problem. As a solution for these issues is that the government must increase the costs in terms of tourism economics and reduce local people’s taxesdecline the local people’s taxes. This remedy can balance both the harm and the state’s incomeincome of State easily.
Taking all things into account, there are manifold reasons for this problem. However, for every hard issue, there is one solution at least.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response is strongest in attempting to connect tourism policy with benefits for poorer residents and in proposing government action. Its main limitation is that the proposed measures are only partly developed and are often supported by unclear or implausible reasoning, while pervasive inaccurate wording obscures the argument. The highest-priority improvement is to present two practical policies and explain their economic and social effects in precise, straightforward language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response offers some relevant measures, including directing revenue to poorer people and adjusting tourism charges, but it spends substantial space on unclear causes and develops the solutions weakly.
Focus directly on two feasible ways to retain and distribute tourism income, explaining how each would support national development and limit harm.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and basic linking words provide visible structure, but the line of reasoning is often difficult to follow and several conclusions do not arise logically from the preceding claims.
Build each body paragraph around one policy using a clear problem, action, and resulting benefit sequence.
Lexical Resource
The writer attempts a wide vocabulary, but frequent miscollocations and inappropriate word choices such as references to lofty money and tourism economics regularly reduce clarity.
Use familiar, precise expressions such as tourism revenue, local investment, cultural protection, and lower taxes instead of uncertain formal vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response shows some attempts at complex sentences, but frequent errors in sentence construction, articles, agreement, plurals, and prepositions sometimes impede understanding.
Practise complete subject-verb sentence patterns and systematically check articles, countable nouns, and verb agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Tourism is an excellent way to develop a country, but it can also cause harm. How can countries ensure that tourism benefits the development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.