Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or a negative development?
Sample Response
Tourism is already a big industry, and this is expanding rapidly in many developing countries. Many such countries have taken extensive initiatives to expand their tourism sector, and many of them have gained enviable popularity. I believe that the reasons for developing countries to embark on this enterprise are many folds, and this is a positive development for them.
First and foremost, popularity and recognition around the world is the reason many emerging countries are improving their tourism. They know that prevalence and exposure to the world are the keys to expanding their presence and dominance in the world. For instance, Malaysia is a well-known Asian country, and the expansion of its tourism sector has established its presence on the global map.
Second, the tourism industry brings foreign money that can be used for the development of the country. For instance, developing countries like Thailand, China and Spain are earning huge foreign currency from their tourism industries. Tourism creates job opportunities for local people and gives the host country an excellent opportunity to develop its infrastructure. With these two aspects in mind, many developing countries are expanding their tourism to international visitors at a rapid speed.
I believe that, despite some negative effects, the tourism industry offers numerous benefits to a country and hence could be considered a positive development. In this era of globalisation, countries cannot shut their doors to foreigners. So the tourism industry is rapidly enhancing and a country should take advantage of it. Earning foreign remittances, creating jobs for local people, introducing unique traditions, improving the transportation system, and knowing cultural diversity are some of the quite advantages that the development of tourism can offer.
In conclusion, the main reason developing countries are extending their tourism enterprises is that they understand the immense potential and benefits this industry offers. Without any doubt, this is a positive development for those developing countries.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a formal adjective Original: big Suggested revision: major Why it matters: 'Major' expresses the industry's importance more appropriately in formal writing.
- 2. Use the correct reference Original: this Suggested revision: it Why it matters: The pronoun 'it' refers directly to the tourism industry already mentioned.
- 3. Use a natural collocation Original: taken Suggested revision: undertaken Why it matters: Initiatives are conventionally 'undertaken' rather than 'taken'.
- 4. Use an appropriate adjective Original: enviable Suggested revision: considerable Why it matters: 'Enviable' describes something others desire, whereas 'considerable' expresses the intended degree of popularity.
- 5. Use the direct clause Original: reasons for developing countries to embark Suggested revision: reasons developing countries embark Why it matters: A finite clause follows 'reasons' more naturally in this construction.
- 6. Use the correct expression Original: many folds Suggested revision: manifold Why it matters: 'Manifold' is the adjective meaning numerous and varied.
- 7. Name the sector clearly Original: improving their tourism Suggested revision: developing their tourism industries Why it matters: Countries develop tourism industries rather than improve tourism itself.
- 8. Use precise visibility terms Original: prevalence and exposure to the world Suggested revision: visibility and international exposure Why it matters: 'Prevalence' does not describe how well known a country is internationally.
- 9. Avoid repetition and overstatement Original: presence and dominance in the world Suggested revision: global presence and influence Why it matters: The replacement removes repeated wording and expresses the intended international standing more precisely.
- 10. Use a concise phrase Original: established its presence on the global map Suggested revision: raised its global profile Why it matters: The revised phrase expresses increased international recognition directly.
- 11. Use an economic term Original: brings foreign money Suggested revision: generates foreign revenue Why it matters: 'Foreign revenue' is more precise and formal than 'foreign money'.
- 12. Introduce examples formally Original: developing countries like Thailand, China and Spain Suggested revision: developing countries such as Thailand, China and Spain Why it matters: 'Such as' is the conventional formal phrase for introducing examples.
Suggested Rewrites
- big major
- this it
- taken undertaken
- enviable considerable
- reasons for developing countries to embark reasons developing countries embark
- many folds manifold
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear answer to both questions, supported by relevant reasons involving international recognition, foreign revenue, employment, and infrastructure. Its main limitation is that several benefits are listed rather than fully explained and some vocabulary is awkward or imprecise; the highest-priority improvement is to develop fewer economic and social effects through explicit cause-and-effect reasoning while refining collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response explains several reasons for tourism expansion and maintains a clear positive evaluation supported by relevant examples and consequences.
Develop the final benefits more selectively by explaining how each one produces lasting gains for a developing country.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through reasons, benefits, evaluation, and conclusion, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Reduce repetition between the economic-reasons paragraph, the positive-development paragraph, and the conclusion by giving each a distinct purpose.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad topic vocabulary, but several inaccurate collocations and word choices weaken precision and naturalness.
Replace awkward phrases such as “many folds,” “tourism is enhancing,” and “quite advantages” with concise, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is generally controlled, with occasional agreement and sentence-formation lapses that do not impede meaning.
Check agreement in compound subjects and revise loosely attached participial lists into complete, parallel structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or a negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.