Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourism industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive development?
Sample Response
These days, many poorer countries are focusing their efforts on developing and promoting their tourism industries. There are some reasons for this, and I believe this can be a positive development, despite numerous drawbacks that can arise.
Personally, I believe that the primary reason for developing tourism in a country is due to the economic benefits that it brings. A well-developed tourism industry creates a lot of new businesses and jobs for local people, and an influx of money from foreign tourists. In addition to this, promoting international tourism can help to improve international relations with other countries, and to share a country’s customs and culture with people all around the world. Many people these days are interested in learning about different cultures and ways of living, and tourism helps to facilitate this experience.
However, there are a number of drawbacks that arise from the expansion of a country’s tourism industry. For example, in many countries in South East Asia, tourism has been a major cause of environmental pollution and destruction. For example, most tourists generally drink bottled water when on holiday, and this creates mountains of plastic waste every year. Many developing countries do not have appropriate recycling facilities and do not know how to deal with the waste, and therefore, it commonly ends up littered throughout the countryside, rivers, seas, beaches and oceans. Furthermore, the invasion of tourists into certain places can disrupt the local wildlife and ecosystems, causing further environmental damage.
In conclusion, I would have to say that expanding the tourism industry in a country is a positive development if it is properly managed, and the environmental and cultural impacts are closely monitored and minimised.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant structure Original: reason for developing tourism in a country is due to Suggested revision: reason countries develop tourism is Why it matters: Using both “reason” and “due to” creates a redundant causal construction.
- 2. Avoid repetition Original: improve international relations Suggested revision: improve relations Why it matters: The following phrase “with other countries” already conveys the international dimension.
- 3. Restore parallel verbs Original: countries, and to share Suggested revision: countries and share Why it matters: The coordinated verbs “improve” and “share” should have parallel form without this comma.
- 4. Tighten the phrase Original: people all around the world Suggested revision: people around the world Why it matters: “All” is unnecessary because “around the world” already expresses global scope.
- 5. Use concise verb Original: helps to facilitate this experience Suggested revision: facilitates this experience Why it matters: The direct verb conveys the same meaning more concisely.
- 6. Avoid repeated example marker Original: For example, most tourists generally Suggested revision: For instance, most tourists Why it matters: This avoids repeating the previous sentence’s connector and removes the redundant adverb “generally”.
- 7. Use neutral collocation Original: the invasion of tourists Suggested revision: an influx of tourists Why it matters: “Influx” precisely describes a large arrival of visitors without the military connotation of “invasion”.
- 8. Refine verb choice Original: disrupt the local wildlife and ecosystems Suggested revision: disturb local wildlife and disrupt ecosystems Why it matters: The revised verbs collocate more precisely with wildlife and ecosystems respectively.
- 9. State view directly Original: I would have to say Suggested revision: I believe Why it matters: The shorter phrase presents the writer’s view more directly and formally.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: A well-developed tourism industry creates a lot of new businesses and jobs for local people, and an influx of money from foreign tourists. Suggested revision: A well-developed tourism industry creates many new businesses and jobs for local people and brings in money from foreign tourists. Why it matters: The rewrite gives both coordinated objects an appropriate verb and removes the faulty comma.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Many developing countries do not have appropriate recycling facilities and do not know how to deal with the waste, and therefore, it commonly ends up littered throughout the countryside, rivers, seas, beaches and oceans. Suggested revision: Many developing countries lack appropriate recycling facilities and do not know how to deal with the waste; therefore, it commonly ends up littering the countryside, rivers, seas, beaches and oceans. Why it matters: The semicolon clearly separates the result from the preceding coordinated clause.
Suggested Rewrites
- reason for developing tourism in a country is due to reason countries develop tourism is
- improve international relations improve relations
- countries, and to share countries and share
- people all around the world people around the world
- helps to facilitate this experience facilitates this experience
- For example, most tourists generally For instance, most tourists
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response directly answers both questions, maintains a nuanced positive position, and develops its discussion with relevant economic, cultural, and environmental detail. The argument is clear and linguistically well controlled, although the final positive judgment could be weighed more explicitly against the extended drawbacks. The highest priority is to connect the management conditions in the conclusion to concrete measures discussed in the body.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are fully addressed through well-developed reasons, relevant drawbacks, and a clear conditional judgment.
Strengthen the evaluation by explaining in the body how effective management makes the benefits outweigh the environmental costs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices support clear relationships with only minor repetition.
Vary the repeated example framing and make the transition from benefits to the final conditional judgment even more explicit.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary is used naturally across economic, cultural, and environmental topics, with only occasional awkward phrasing.
Refine isolated choices such as invasion of tourists to a more neutral and precise phrase such as influx of visitors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the few minor errors do not impede communication.
Polish parallel structures and remove small redundancies such as the primary reason is due to for greater grammatical precision.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourism industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.