Many developing countries place a lot of importance on tourism. Why is this? Do you think that this is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
Owing to over interest in the tourism, individuals are gaining lot of knowledge.which rises the inclination of people towards belief that it has a devastating impact on them.others, however including I harbour the thought that it is positive infested to them. In the starting paragraph with this statement people believe that the importance of the tourism in the developing countries is more instead of poorer countries. Initially, although, tourism is liked just for enjoyment by certain people still some individuals think that they adapt to new knowledge by travelling.for example when individuals go to any cultural place,they can know about culture and moral values along with history.as a result, they can explore their knowledge.what is another factor? apparently,during the travel time individuals meet with new people.various kinds of language are learned by person because when they meet with new people they try to speak language of them.consequently, they enhance their communication skills. On the other hand, if developing countries give more important on tourism, the life experiences would increase because when person go to another country l.they not only learn about new language but also adapt diverse kinds of things such as how to treat with another and learn many kinds of traveling experience. hence, the tourism have positive effect on them. The cynics of the aforementioned notion, on the other hand, oppose the view, they are of the opinion that if the most people travel from one country to another country. the environment pollution would rise with it because they would travel on any vehicle not by walking.therefore, people would reduce the tourism. To epitomise, indeed somehow I strongly believe that tourism is beneficial for exploring knowledge still devastating effects it had on environment are such that neglecting them would be considered folly.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove conflicting linker Original: Initially, although, Suggested revision: Initially, Why it matters: Although cannot stand alone here because no subordinate contrast is completed.
- 2. Use natural wording Original: is liked just for enjoyment Suggested revision: is valued mainly for enjoyment Why it matters: The replacement expresses the purpose of tourism in a natural formal register.
- 3. Correct verb choice Original: adapt to new knowledge Suggested revision: gain new knowledge Why it matters: People gain knowledge rather than adapt to it in this context.
- 4. Mark new sentence Original: travelling.for example Suggested revision: travelling. For example Why it matters: The full stop must be followed by a capital letter to begin the example sentence.
- 5. Use learning verb Original: know Suggested revision: learn Why it matters: Learn about correctly describes acquiring information through a visit.
- 6. Capitalize transition Original: history.as a result Suggested revision: history. As a result Why it matters: The transition begins a new sentence and therefore needs a capital letter.
- 7. Correct collocation Original: explore Suggested revision: broaden Why it matters: Broaden knowledge is the appropriate collocation for increasing what someone knows.
- 8. Use plural noun Original: various kinds of language Suggested revision: various languages Why it matters: The sentence refers to multiple distinct languages, so the countable plural form is required.
- 9. Correct noun number Original: person Suggested revision: people Why it matters: The general reference requires a plural noun rather than singular person without an article.
- 10. Use possessive form Original: speak language of them Suggested revision: speak their language Why it matters: The possessive determiner provides the natural way to identify another person's language.
- 11. Capitalize sentence start Original: consequently, Suggested revision: Consequently, Why it matters: The transition follows a full stop and must begin with a capital letter.
- 12. Correct collocation Original: give more important on tourism Suggested revision: place more importance on tourism Why it matters: Place importance on is the correct collocation for assigning priority to something.
Suggested Rewrites
- Initially, although, Initially,
- is liked just for enjoyment is valued mainly for enjoyment
- adapt to new knowledge gain new knowledge
- travelling.for example travelling. For example
- know learn
- history.as a result history. As a result
Why this response received Band 4.5
The response contains some relevant ideas about cultural knowledge, communication, and environmental damage, and it attempts to consider more than one perspective. However, it scarcely explains why developing countries prioritise tourism, and its final judgement remains contradictory; frequent language errors also obscure several points. Directly answer the country-level reason, choose and maintain a clear evaluation, and express each supporting idea in shorter, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Some benefits and an environmental drawback are mentioned, but the reason developing countries prioritise tourism is largely unaddressed and the final position is unclear.
Explain a country-level motive such as employment or foreign revenue, then state clearly whether the development is positive or negative overall.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a loose movement from benefits to a drawback, but sequencing is confused and paragraphing and reference are poorly controlled.
Plan one paragraph answering why tourism matters and another evaluating its effects, with one clear central idea in each.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices often make ideas difficult to interpret.
Use familiar, precise combinations such as gain knowledge, learn about cultures, promote tourism, and cause environmental pollution.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in sentence boundaries, articles, agreement, capitalization, and clause construction regularly strain comprehension.
Write shorter complete sentences and systematically check each one for a subject, a correctly formed verb, and final punctuation.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many developing countries place a lot of importance on tourism. Why is this? Do you think that this is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.