Some people believe that tourists should accept social and environmental responsibility while others believe that tourists should not accept any responsibility at all. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
I totally agree with the view that tourists should accept responsibilities towards the social and environmental culture of the country where they visit. I believe that if they undertake responsibilities, only then healthy tourism can be provided. Firstly, every country has its own culture which attracts tourism and tourists want to experience their cultural values and norms. So, if they deny being responsible enough to follow them, there is no use of travel to such countries. For instance, Golden Temple in Punjab (India) is a very popular religious place where every devotee has to cover their head and pay respect. In case tourists would not follow the rules, they will not be welcomed by temple devotees and local community. Secondly, In the case of the environment, it is extremely important for tourists to be aware of every place where the intending to travel. Every attraction has its rules to follow to keep tourists safe as some beaches have deep water level, some have shark endanger areas and so on. They should not be making beaches and harbours filthy. Recently, at Wellington Harbour, the council has to spend half a million to remove debris which could cause danger to sea creatures and natural beauty of the city. If the country has to face heavy expense to retain its natural beauty then it would not provide healthy tourism. Finally, I would like to say that tourists should do research about the country they are planning to visit before they travel to have an enjoyable experience for both sides which will promote good relations among tourists and countries. In conclusion, host countries always try to give the best experience to the visiting tourists as this is a major source of earning for many countries. However, being adherent to some simple rules and tradition by the tourists would be always positive in terms of keeping a safe and healthy environment and to avoid cultural and traditional contradictions between the tourists and host countries.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise responsibility phrase Original: responsibilities towards the social and environmental culture Suggested revision: social and environmental responsibility Why it matters: The original phrase incorrectly treats culture as both social and environmental.
- 2. Remove incorrect relative word Original: the country where they visit Suggested revision: the country they visit Why it matters: Visit takes the country directly as its object here.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: undertake responsibilities Suggested revision: take responsibility Why it matters: Take responsibility is the standard collocation in this context.
- 4. Name the people attracted Original: culture which attracts tourism Suggested revision: culture that attracts tourists Why it matters: A culture attracts tourists, while tourism names the activity or industry.
- 5. Match the singular country Original: their Suggested revision: its Why it matters: The possessive must refer back to the singular noun country.
- 6. Clarify the intended refusal Original: deny being responsible enough Suggested revision: refuse to take responsibility Why it matters: The original wording does not clearly express a refusal to act responsibly.
- 7. Use idiomatic phrasing Original: there is no use of travel Suggested revision: there is little point in travelling Why it matters: The suggested phrase expresses lack of purpose naturally.
- 8. Add the definite article Original: Golden Temple in Punjab (India) Suggested revision: the Golden Temple in Punjab (India) Why it matters: The name of this specific site requires the definite article in this sentence.
- 9. Correct the conditional form Original: In case tourists would not follow the rules Suggested revision: If tourists do not follow the rules Why it matters: A real conditional uses if with the present simple rather than in case with would.
- 10. Add the definite article Original: local community Suggested revision: the local community Why it matters: The sentence refers to the specific community around the temple.
- 11. Improve the transition Original: Secondly, In the case of the environment Suggested revision: Secondly, regarding the environment Why it matters: The revised transition is grammatical and links directly to the second responsibility.
- 12. Restore subject and verb Original: where the intending to travel Suggested revision: where they intend to travel Why it matters: The clause needs the subject they and the finite verb intend.
Suggested Rewrites
- responsibilities towards the social and environmental culture social and environmental responsibility
- the country where they visit the country they visit
- undertake responsibilities take responsibility
- culture which attracts tourism culture that attracts tourists
- their its
- deny being responsible enough refuse to take responsibility
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position and supports it with relevant cultural and environmental examples, giving the argument a coherent overall direction. Its main limitation is recurrent awkward or inaccurate phrasing, alongside mechanical organisation that restricts precision and fluency. The highest-priority improvement is to revise sentence structures and collocations carefully so that each supporting point is expressed naturally and developed with greater clarity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement position is maintained and supported by relevant cultural and environmental reasons and examples.
Develop each example more precisely by explaining how the behaviour demonstrates tourists' responsibility and its consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear sequence, but reliance on mechanical signposting and limited paragraphing weakens cohesion.
Group the cultural and environmental arguments into distinct body paragraphs with smoother links between claims and examples.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, though several inaccurate collocations reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace awkward combinations such as references to healthy tourism with more precise, conventional expressions about sustainable and responsible tourism.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main ideas, but frequent errors in clauses, agreement, and word forms reduce control.
Proofread conditional and relative-clause structures and check subject-verb agreement and missing words before finalising the response.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that tourists should accept social and environmental responsibility while others believe that tourists should not accept any responsibility at all. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.