In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
With globalisation and expanded international tradeinternational trade facilities, international fast food chains such asbrands like Pizza Hut, Burger King, Starbucks, and McDonald’s are present in almost all major cities around the world, and they are replacing traditional foods in many countries. Some people say that this trend has severe negative consequences both on our family and society, and I agree with this view.
Fast food can be addictiveFast food items are addictive and have little nutritionalnutritious value. We have fast-food outletsfast food shops on every street corner in our citieson every corner of our city streets and their soaring popularity is onethe reason we already have a society in which obesity is commona society where obesity is a common problem. According to a recent publication, one in every five children in our country is overweight, and fast food is the primary cause of thisnumber one reason for that. Since fast food items have high levels of fat and sugara high density of fats and sugar, their intake can cause people to suffer frommakes people suffer from many serious diseasesso many serious diseases these days. This illness puts a stain on the family and society.
Moreover, cooking and eating together asin a family is a tradition that not only brings family members together but also ensures good health and strong relationshipstheir sound health and relationship. However, with the popularity of international fast-food chains, families have little time to cook and eat together. This is decreasing their family time and deteriorating their relationship. Traditional foods not only represent a society's traditions and valuesthe tradition and value of a society but also offer good nutritionthe best nutrition and healthy ingredients. By contrastOn the contrary, international fast foods destroy our well-being by damagingdecaying our health and also creating a generation dependent on fast foodgiving birth to a fast food-loving generation who will suffer from various diseases. These are all so negative for our family and society.
In conclusion, it is a very pressing issue that we are relying more on fast foods than preparing traditional foods at home. This has so many negative consequences that individuals, as well as the government, should take quick and effective steps to revert the dreadful trend of eating fast foods.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear position and develops relevant effects on health, family relationships, and cultural traditions in a logically organised argument. Its main limitation is imprecise wording and several awkward collocations, which sometimes weaken the sophistication of otherwise varied vocabulary. The highest-priority improvement is to replace exaggerated or unnatural expressions with precise academic phrasing and develop the societal impact with more specific reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear opinion is sustained, and relevant negative effects on families and society are explained with supporting detail.
Develop the societal consequences more specifically and qualify broad health claims so the argument becomes more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised and progresses clearly, although the third paragraph combines several ideas somewhat densely.
Separate the cultural impact from the family-health discussion to give each line of reasoning a sharper progression.
Lexical Resource
The response shows useful range, but recurring awkward collocations and exaggerated wording reduce lexical precision.
Replace phrases such as decaying our health and revert the trend with natural, precise academic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is generally controlled, with occasional errors in reference, agreement, and preposition choice.
Check plural reference and sentence boundaries so pronouns and dependent clauses connect unambiguously to their intended nouns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.