Some people think that newly built houses should follow the style of old houses in the local areas. Others think that people should have the freedom to build houses of their own style. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
In the modern world, there has always been contrasting ideas to the way one lives, and housing patterns is one of the primary subsets of it. While some people opine that housing patterns should have a traditional tinge, significant others propound it to be a subjective and individual choice. In the forthcoming sections, I shall be discussing both aspects and would be putting my viewpoint.
The world we see today is an organic superimposition and amalgamation of various cultures, customs and legacies. It has substantially evolved to the yield of the constituents over the years to be what it is today. The people who propagate the idea of traditional and customary houses to be the option for housing pattern majorly do so with respect to the rich heritage that we have. They fear that building the houses in the pattern otherwise could possibly lacerate our historical hereditaments. Generally, the whole idea of cultural paraphernalia en routes us to the golden cord of lineage that we have been transfigured from.
The other segment that champions the building of the houses to be a subject of choice and taste puts the liberty and entitlement of people in the mainstream, and I somehow second with the opinion. There are various dynamics and reasons for it. The cost of traditional houses, as a matter of fact, is way too heightened as compared to the prices of the new age houses comparatively. Where the elements and ingredients used for traditional ones are quite expensive including stones and the baselines of the houses, new style houses are pretty affordable. Secondly, the old-customed houses are much spacious and follow the horizontal setup, and keeping in mind the growing population, it perhaps wouldn’t be a very good alternative to go for such establishments as it wouldn’t be able to accommodate the comfortable space for all the people to live in given the fact that one building would be occupying a larger space and hence exacerbating the spaces issue. And most importantly, nothing could be more essential than one’s prerogative to lead one’s life the way one wants and hence every dynamic zero in on the “Right To Live” underline that subjugates and supersedes every argument.
Conclusively, it could be said that the housing patterns and the architectural design should be left to the discretion of the people who would reside.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix subject agreement Original: has Suggested revision: have Why it matters: The plural subject 'ideas' requires 'have' in the existential construction.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: to the way one lives Suggested revision: about how people live Why it matters: Ideas are expressed 'about' a subject, and this wording is clearer and less abstract.
- 3. Fix plural agreement Original: is Suggested revision: are Why it matters: The plural subject 'housing patterns' requires the verb 'are'.
- 4. Clarify vague reference Original: one of the primary subsets of it Suggested revision: one of its main aspects Why it matters: 'Aspect' fits the relationship better than 'subset', and the possessive removes the vague final pronoun.
- 5. Remove wrong expression Original: significant others Suggested revision: others Why it matters: 'Significant others' refers to close partners and does not mean the opposing group here.
- 6. Use natural reporting verb Original: propound it to be Suggested revision: consider it Why it matters: 'Consider it' takes the following complement directly and expresses the intended view naturally.
- 7. Remove redundant wording Original: a subjective and individual choice Suggested revision: a matter of individual choice Why it matters: Individual choice already conveys subjectivity, so this version is more concise.
- 8. Use simple future Original: shall be discussing Suggested revision: shall discuss Why it matters: The simple form is sufficient for stating what the essay will do.
- 9. Keep verb form parallel Original: would be putting my viewpoint Suggested revision: shall present my viewpoint Why it matters: This matches the preceding future construction and uses a natural verb for expressing an opinion.
- 10. Simplify unclear wording Original: organic superimposition and amalgamation Suggested revision: natural amalgamation Why it matters: 'Superimposition' obscures the idea, while the shorter phrase clearly conveys a blend.
- 11. Clarify abstract phrase Original: evolved to the yield of the constituents Suggested revision: evolved through the contributions of its constituent cultures Why it matters: The original collocation is unclear, whereas this revision preserves the idea of cultures shaping the world.
- 12. Clarify housing claim Original: traditional and customary houses to be the option for housing pattern Suggested revision: traditional houses to remain the standard housing pattern Why it matters: This revision expresses the group's preference directly and removes redundant wording.
Suggested Rewrites
- has have
- to the way one lives about how people live
- is are
- one of the primary subsets of it one of its main aspects
- significant others others
- propound it to be consider it
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response covers both views and gives a clear preference, with the freedom argument receiving substantial development through cost, space, and personal-choice considerations. Its main limitation is persistent overcomplication: inflated or inaccurate vocabulary and heavily extended sentences often obscure otherwise relevant ideas. The highest priority is to express each reason in shorter, more controlled sentences using precise, natural collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both positions are discussed and the writer's preference is clear, although the case for preserving traditional styles remains somewhat abstract.
Support the heritage argument with a concrete explanation or example and state the opinion more directly in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear overall sequence, but overloaded sentences and vague referencing sometimes weaken progression within paragraphs.
Divide the long third paragraph into distinct points and give each reason a clear topic sentence and concise explanation.
Lexical Resource
The writer attempts an extensive vocabulary, but frequent unnatural collocations and misused high-level words reduce precision and clarity.
Prioritise accurate, natural terms and remove inflated expressions such as historical hereditaments and cultural paraphernalia.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted frequently, but recurring agreement, article, comparison, and sentence-boundary problems limit control.
Use shorter complex sentences and check that every clause has clear agreement, reference, and punctuation.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that newly built houses should follow the style of old houses in the local areas. Others think that people should have the freedom to build houses of their own style. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.