Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead, they get news about the world from the Internet. Why is it so? Is this a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
In recent times, a notable shift in obtaining news sources has transpired, with an increasing number of individuals forsaking traditional mediums such as newspapers and television news programmes in favour of acquiring information from the Internet. Despite the apparent convenience and accessibility offered by the digital realm, this transition is accompanied by various drawbacks, qualifying it as a negative development.
The shift towards obtaining news from the Internet over traditional sources can be attributed to the evolution of technology and changes in media consumption patterns. The Internet provides unparalleled accessibility and convenience, offering a vast array of information at the click of a button or a swipe on a smartphone. The immediacy and ease of accessing news online, along with the ability to customize content based on individual preferences, have significantly influenced people's media consumption habits. Additionally, the proliferation of social media platforms and digital news aggregators has further propelled this trend, as they offer personalized news feeds and real-time updates, catering to the fast-paced lifestyles of today's society.
Primarily, while the Internet provides a vast array of information, it lacks the stringent editorial oversight and fact-checking mechanisms typically employed by traditional news outlets. Consequently, there is a proliferation of misinformation and fake news on online platforms, leading to public confusion, polarization, and the propagation of false narratives.
Moreover, the Internet's algorithm-driven news delivery tends to create echo chambers, where individuals are exposed only to content that aligns with their preferences and beliefs. This selective exposure fosters confirmation bias, limiting individuals' exposure to diverse viewpoints and potentially impeding critical thinking skills. Consequently, people may become more susceptible to manipulation by biased or misleading information, contributing to social polarization and a fractured society.
In conclusion, while the internet offers unparalleled convenience and immediacy in accessing news, the shift away from traditional news sources to online platforms heralds a negative trend. It is expected that people would check the authenticity of a piece of news that they get from the internet before believing them and sharin them withe others.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use contrast construction Original: obtaining news from the Internet over traditional sources Suggested revision: obtaining news from the Internet rather than from traditional sources Why it matters: Rather than correctly expresses preference between the two sources.
- 2. Use parallel access phrase Original: at Suggested revision: with Why it matters: With creates a natural and parallel phrase for the two access methods.
- 3. Use precise trend verb Original: propelled Suggested revision: accelerated Why it matters: Accelerated more precisely describes an increase in the pace of an existing trend.
- 4. Reduce wordiness Original: catering to the fast-paced lifestyles of today's society Suggested revision: suiting today's fast-paced lifestyles Why it matters: The revision conveys the same idea more concisely.
- 5. Clarify paragraph opening Original: Primarily, while Suggested revision: A primary concern is that while Why it matters: The revision clearly signals that the paragraph introduces the first drawback.
- 6. Remove semantic repetition Original: a proliferation of misinformation and fake news Suggested revision: a proliferation of misinformation Why it matters: Fake news substantially repeats the meaning already conveyed by misinformation.
- 7. Use precise relative phrase Original: echo chambers, where Suggested revision: echo chambers in which Why it matters: In which more precisely refers to exposure occurring within figurative chambers.
- 8. Avoid repeated exposure Original: limiting individuals' exposure to diverse viewpoints Suggested revision: limiting access to diverse viewpoints Why it matters: The revision avoids repeating exposure from the start of the sentence.
- 9. Use accurate trend verb Original: heralds Suggested revision: represents Why it matters: The shift is itself the trend rather than merely announcing its arrival.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: In recent times, a notable shift in obtaining news sources has transpired, with an increasing number of individuals forsaking traditional mediums such as newspapers and television news programmes in favour of acquiring information from the Internet. Suggested revision: Recently, more people have abandoned traditional media, such as newspapers and television news programmes, in favour of obtaining news from the Internet. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the plural of medium and removes unnecessarily elaborate wording.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: It is expected that people would check the authenticity of a piece of news that they get from the internet before believing them and sharin them withe others. Suggested revision: People should check the authenticity of online news before believing it and sharing it with others. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the modal structure, pronoun agreement, and spelling errors.
Suggested Rewrites
- obtaining news from the Internet over traditional sources obtaining news from the Internet rather than from traditional sources
- at with
- propelled accelerated
- catering to the fast-paced lifestyles of today's society suiting today's fast-paced lifestyles
- Primarily, while A primary concern is that while
- a proliferation of misinformation and fake news a proliferation of misinformation
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay answers both questions directly, explains the shift to online news in depth, and sustains a well-developed negative evaluation through misinformation, echo chambers, and social polarisation. Its strongest feature is the precise, logically sequenced analysis. The main weakness is a less polished final sentence with spelling, reference, and modal errors; revise the conclusion for concise synthesis and complete a final proofread to preserve the otherwise high level of control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both the reasons for the shift and the negative evaluation are fully addressed through relevant, well-developed explanations of convenience, misinformation, and algorithmic bias.
Refine the closing recommendation by linking fact-checking directly to the identified harms instead of introducing it briefly in the final sentence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are sequenced logically across well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive links guide the reader smoothly from causes to two distinct negative consequences.
Make the conclusion more cohesive by synthesising the two main harms before offering any practical implication.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and flexible across technology, journalism, and social effects, with only isolated awkward phrasing and spelling lapses.
Replace over-formal wording such as a shift has transpired with more natural academic phrasing and correct the final typographical errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately throughout most of the essay, with errors concentrated in the final sentence and little effect on communication.
Revise the final sentence for modal logic, pronoun agreement, and spelling, using a structure such as readers should verify news before believing or sharing it.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead, they get news about the world from the Internet. Why is it so? Is this a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.