Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of the modern society. Some people think that we must return to the older and more traditional values of respect for the family and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sample Response

1

Today, a luxurious lifestyleluxury lifestyle has affected people’s liveshumans’ living conditions fundamentally. While in the past traditional valuesrules were a major foundationbase for many communities, now people regardconsider money as a priority. Some believe that our ancestors had a better living situation, and I firmly agree with them.

2

Undeniably, now personal factors have become the first choice for many people living across the world. One obvious example is that young people haveyoung have less respect for elders. Thinking solely the benefits, juveniles value less their parents’ attitudes compared to the past. For instance, when selecting a marriage partnerto select their marriage partner, young people in the pastthe former youth considered their parents’ opinions more than young people do nowparents’ opinions more than now, whereas now they have become more selfish and do not value their parents’ experience. On the other handside, parents have become greedy too.

3

Clearly, they financially supported their childrenbacked up their children more in the past than they do nowbefore more than now; however, many people over 65many over 65 people always prefer to have more savingssaving instead of helping their children. As a prime example, my grandfather supported my mother’s tuition feeseducation tuition, but she has not paid any cent for my education even though she kneweven she knew I had many difficulty paying itproblems to pay it. From my perspective, our ancestors had a better living condition. One important reason behind it is that they were more supportive to each other. Admittedly, traditional family structure assisted all age groups to have a better feeling about life. Adolescents need to be supported by their adults during their study, and seniors received more aidaids from their offspring. Another one is that communities could adapt themselves to some unexpected critical conditions. In this case, had not European poor citizens been supported by the rich after World War II, their homes would not have been recovered so fast.

4

In conclusion, developing of technology, humans have the lacking consideration to others. I personally believe that the former societies had safer lifestyles because all age groups were more supportive to each other, during critical conditions or any stage of life.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response maintains a clear agreement and offers several examples of weakened family and community support, giving the essay a recognisable central argument. However, development is uneven: it focuses more on claiming that the past was better than on explaining how returning to specific traditional values would improve modern society, and frequent language errors weaken precision. Prioritise a direct cause-and-effect case for the proposed return, supported by clearly expressed examples.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

6.0
Scoring rule

The response maintains a relevant position and presents several supporting ideas, but it only partly explains how reviving traditional values would create a better modern society.

Next step

Connect each example directly to a specific value that should be restored and explain the resulting benefit for society today.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The overall argument is recognisable and uses a clear introduction and conclusion, but progression within the body is uneven and one idea is split awkwardly across paragraphs.

Next step

Organise each body paragraph around one complete claim, with its explanation and example kept together before moving to the next point.

LR

Lexical Resource

5.5
Scoring rule

The essay shows some range in discussing families and communities, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations make expression unnatural or imprecise.

Next step

Use simpler, established phrases for respect, financial support, and social cohesion, and check collocations before adding less familiar vocabulary.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5
Scoring rule

A mixture of simple and complex forms is attempted, but frequent errors in clause structure, articles, agreement, and prepositions reduce accuracy.

Next step

Focus on producing complete clauses with accurate subject-verb patterns before attempting inversions or compressed introductory structures.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of the modern society. Some people think that we must return to the older and more traditional values of respect for the family and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your response

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