Different transportation vehicles have transformed our lives and helped us advance as a civilisation. Which transportation among the following do you think has changed people's lives the most? Automobiles Bicycles Airplanes
Sample Response
It is believed that the invention of airplanes has changed the way people travel these days. For a number of reasons, this mode of transportation has brought positive aspects in our lives, and the following essay will discuss them in details.
Firstly, it is undeniable that with the existence of aeroplanes, people could travel to another country or continent in such a shorter time. With this advanced technology, people could save more time and be more productive. For instance, with the existence of Concorde supersonic airplanes, people could travel from London to New York in just several hours, and once they arrive at their destination point, they could do a lot of things there from sightseeing, shopping up to the business meeting.
Secondly, airplanes have positively affected the development of tourism sectors. Nowadays, there are a lot of low-cost airlines, such as Tiger Air, Value Air, Jet Star and AirAsia which sell their tickets at affordable rates. As a result, more people are doing travel activities these days, and they boost the tourism industries. More resorts and hotels are being built in the tourist destination places and it has created a lot of job opportunities for the local people.
In conclusion, it is a fact that airplanes play a significant role in people's live these days, as they bring a lot of benefits for many people. Some of the benefits of airplanes are that it could shorten the travelling time, therefore people could manage more of their time. And then, with the existence of airplanes, it has affected the tourism industry as it has created a lot of employment for the local people.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use benefit collocation Original: brought positive aspects in our lives Suggested revision: brought benefits to our lives Why it matters: The natural collocation is “bring benefits to” someone or something.
- 2. Use singular detail Original: in details Suggested revision: in detail Why it matters: The fixed expression is “in detail”.
- 3. Use advent phrase Original: with the existence of aeroplanes Suggested revision: with the advent of aeroplanes Why it matters: “The advent of” naturally describes the introduction of a technology.
- 4. Use present ability Original: people could travel to another country Suggested revision: people can travel to another country Why it matters: The essay describes a current general ability, so “can” is appropriate.
- 5. Fix comparative degree Original: in such a shorter time Suggested revision: in a much shorter time Why it matters: “Much” correctly intensifies the comparative adjective “shorter”.
- 6. Remove unnecessary comparison Original: save more time Suggested revision: save time Why it matters: No explicit comparison is needed for the general benefit.
- 7. Use singular sector Original: tourism sectors Suggested revision: tourism sector Why it matters: Tourism is treated as one economic sector in this general statement.
- 8. Use concise quantity Original: there are a lot of low-cost airlines Suggested revision: there are many low-cost airlines Why it matters: “Many” is more concise and formal than “a lot of”.
- 9. Fix name and commas Original: Jet Star and AirAsia which Suggested revision: Jetstar, and AirAsia, which Why it matters: The airline name is one word, and the nonrestrictive relative clause requires a comma.
- 10. Use direct travel verb Original: doing travel activities Suggested revision: travelling Why it matters: “Travelling” expresses the activity directly without an empty noun phrase.
- 11. Clarify resulting effect Original: and they boost Suggested revision: thereby boosting Why it matters: The participial linker shows that increased travel causes the growth in tourism.
- 12. Use singular industry Original: the tourism industries Suggested revision: the tourism industry Why it matters: Tourism is treated as one industry in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- brought positive aspects in our lives brought benefits to our lives
- in details in detail
- with the existence of aeroplanes with the advent of aeroplanes
- people could travel to another country people can travel to another country
- in such a shorter time in a much shorter time
- save more time save time
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response selects airplanes clearly and develops two relevant impacts: faster long-distance travel and the growth of tourism and local employment, supported by appropriate examples. Its main limitation is that the explanation remains somewhat repetitive and does not explicitly show why aviation has transformed lives more than automobiles or bicycles. Strengthen the argument with a concise comparison focused on global reach, journey time, and international economic connections.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear choice is supported by two relevant, developed reasons and examples, although its superiority over the other listed options is mostly implicit.
Add a direct comparison explaining why airplanes' international reach and speed produce a greater transformation than cars or bicycles.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response uses focused paragraphs and a clear progression from travel-time benefits to tourism impacts and conclusion, despite some repetition.
Make the conclusion synthesise the reasons rather than restating the same wording and causal sequence from the body.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for air travel and tourism, but repetition and frequent awkward collocations limit precision and flexibility.
Use natural phrases such as reduce journey times, long-haul travel, boost tourism, affordable fares, tourist destinations, and create employment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex sentences are used with generally clear meaning, but agreement, pronoun reference, plurality, tense, and sentence-boundary errors recur.
Keep references to airplanes consistently plural and check that each result clause has a clear subject and correctly agreeing verb.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Different transportation vehicles have transformed our lives and helped us advance as a civilisation. Which transportation among the following do you think has changed people's lives the most? Automobiles Bicycles Airplanes
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.