Some people say that travelling abroad is necessary for learning about other countries, while others do not think so because TV and the Internet can give the same information. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The technological advances over recent decades have meant it is much easier for the average person to find out about the climate, landscape and tourist attractions in other parts of the world. Given such convenient access to information, some people argue that it is no longer necessary to go through the trouble of travelling to and staying in any foreign country. Is this claim justified?
Some people say that electronic media can, to some extent at least, satisfy their need to learn about exotic destinations, and I can understand their point of view. The tech-savvy young population, for instance, are no strangers to cloud-based resources on this topic, frequently exploring and recommending websites and applications that feature high-definition photos and 360-degree videos. Seniors and other community members with mobility limitations, unable to visit as many countries as they wish, probably also recognize the importance of having a rich media repertoire for their enjoyment.
Others, however, might argue that despite the wonder of technology, it cannot emulate one’s physical presence. Travel enthusiasts most likely find their own journeys more memorable than watching documentaries or video blogs about their favourite destinations, given the tastes, touches and smells unique to the trips. Children, similarly, can benefit from such immersive experience of the local landscape and culture that no educational video can offer.
Personally, I think the question depends on how much time you have. For people who are busy with work or study, it is not realistic to arrange frequent week-long vacations abroad, so professionally curated media content may be the best alternative outside of holiday seasons. However, if you have plenty of time at your disposal, paying a visit to a new country and being absorbed in the experience can be rewarding, especially during off-peak months.
To conclude, since international travel and media resources each offer their own advantages, I think there is enough choice for everyone these days.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: The technological advances Suggested revision: Technological advances Why it matters: A general plural noun does not require the definite article here.
- 2. Use academic phrasing Original: find out about the climate Suggested revision: learn about the climate Why it matters: Learn about is more direct and appropriate for the essay's educational context.
- 3. Improve travel phrasing Original: travelling to and staying in any foreign country Suggested revision: travelling to and spending time in a foreign country Why it matters: This wording expresses the idea of experiencing another country more naturally.
- 4. Use natural noun phrase Original: The tech-savvy young population Suggested revision: Tech-savvy young people Why it matters: Young people is more natural when referring to individuals who explore and recommend online resources.
- 5. Correct collocation Original: a rich media repertoire Suggested revision: a wide range of media resources Why it matters: Repertoire is not the natural noun for the media content available to users.
- 6. Use precise wording Original: wonder Suggested revision: capabilities Why it matters: Capabilities more precisely refers to what technology can achieve.
- 7. Clarify intended meaning Original: emulate one’s physical presence Suggested revision: replicate the experience of being physically present Why it matters: Technology can replicate an experience, whereas emulating a person's presence is unclear here.
- 8. Use natural sensory term Original: touches Suggested revision: textures Why it matters: Textures is the natural noun for tactile qualities in this list of sensory experiences.
- 9. Add article Original: such immersive experience Suggested revision: such an immersive experience Why it matters: A singular countable noun after such requires an article.
- 10. Strengthen parallel progression Suggested revision: Present the two time conditions in parallel and link each one directly to its corresponding choice. Why it matters: A more parallel structure would make the comparison between media use and travel easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- The technological advances Technological advances
- find out about the climate learn about the climate
- travelling to and staying in any foreign country travelling to and spending time in a foreign country
- The tech-savvy young population Tech-savvy young people
- a rich media repertoire a wide range of media resources
- wonder capabilities
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its balanced, mature discussion, using relevant examples to explain what media and direct travel can each provide. Its main limitation is that parts of the discussion drift from learning about countries toward convenience and enjoyment, while the final position is slightly less precise than the conditional view developed earlier. Keep the focus on learning outcomes and restate the time-based judgement explicitly in the conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are explored in depth and a clear conditional opinion is developed, though some support emphasises enjoyment and practicality more than learning about countries.
Keep every example tied explicitly to what people can learn and restate the conditional position precisely in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices and referencing used naturally throughout.
Make the conclusion mirror the essay's time-based reasoning more directly so the argument closes with maximum precision.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary, including language for technology, mobility, and immersive experience, conveys nuanced ideas effectively.
Refine a few slightly awkward combinations, such as the phrasing around tastes, touches, and smells, to make expression fully natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used flexibly and accurately, with only isolated minor lapses that do not affect clarity.
Proofread noun phrases for small article errors, particularly constructions such as such an immersive experience.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that travelling abroad is necessary for learning about other countries, while others do not think so because TV and the Internet can give the same information. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.