Many people have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds, cats, or other animals as members of their family. In your opinion, are such relationships good? Why or why not?
Sample Response
Some people do not have any pets in their house, except for unwanted ones such as a racoon or mouse. These people think that there is no place for animals in their places. However, other people have animals such as dogs, cats, and birds in their families and they have a close relationship with their pets. Personally, I belong to the people who treat their pets as members of their family. For several reasons, which I will mention bellow, I think that such relationships between a man and an animal bring many benefits.
First of all, when people treat their pets as members of their families it means that they feel responsibilities for their little ones. As a result of this people care about their pets' health, their diet and shape, and I think both sides benefit from this kind of relationships. People do not feel alone and pets are in good hands. Personally, I think that pets give people a great opportunity to feel they are needed by these little but at the same time very courageous animals. Second of all, pets teach people, especially children, kindness and devotion. Children grow up kinder, more attentive and friendlier. Finally, often pets are the closest and most devoted friends of people and I am sure that we return them the same feelings. I think it is great and makes everyone a little bit happier. For example, when I was a child my family had a beautiful cat named "Nikola". We loved him very much and treat him as a member of our family. So, when he died we could not get used to the fact that he was not home. It was the feeling like we lost some of our family. Since then we did not have the cat. Now my parents have a bird and a couple of golden fish.
In conclusion, I think that pets play a very important role in our everyday life. There are plenty of examples when animals saved people's lives and helped us in out fight with evil such as drugs and violence. So, I believe that our pets deserve the best we can offer them our love and devotion.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural wording Original: places Suggested revision: homes Why it matters: Places is vague and unnatural when referring to where people live.
- 2. Clarify family membership Original: animals such as dogs, cats, and birds in their families Suggested revision: animals such as dogs, cats, and birds as members of their families Why it matters: As members correctly expresses the animals' role within the families.
- 3. Fix awkward expression Original: belong to the people Suggested revision: am one of those people Why it matters: The replacement naturally identifies the writer as part of this group.
- 4. Correct spelling Original: bellow Suggested revision: below Why it matters: Below is the correct word for information that follows.
- 5. Use inclusive plurals Original: between a man and an animal Suggested revision: between people and animals Why it matters: The plural wording matches the general claim and avoids an unnecessarily narrow reference.
- 6. Separate the clauses Original: families it means Suggested revision: families, it means Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory subordinate clause.
- 7. Fix word form Original: responsibilities Suggested revision: responsible Why it matters: Feel takes the adjective responsible rather than the plural noun responsibilities.
- 8. Fix the connector Original: As a result of this people Suggested revision: As a result, people Why it matters: As a result functions as a sentence connector here and should be followed by a comma.
- 9. Use precise wording Original: diet and shape Suggested revision: diet and physical condition Why it matters: Physical condition expresses the intended aspect of animal health more precisely than shape.
- 10. Fix number agreement Original: relationships Suggested revision: relationship Why it matters: This kind of requires a singular count noun.
- 11. Tighten the expression Original: to feel they are needed by these little but at the same time very courageous animals Suggested revision: to feel needed by these small yet courageous animals Why it matters: The revision removes wordiness while preserving the description of the pets.
- 12. Use formal sequencing Original: Second of all Suggested revision: Secondly Why it matters: Secondly provides a concise formal transition between supporting points.
Suggested Rewrites
- places homes
- animals such as dogs, cats, and birds in their families animals such as dogs, cats, and birds as members of their families
- belong to the people am one of those people
- bellow below
- between a man and an animal between people and animals
- families it means families, it means
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives an unequivocal opinion and supports it with several relevant benefits, with the personal example adding genuine illustration. Its effectiveness is reduced by packing all supporting ideas into one long paragraph, using several imprecise expressions, and making frequent grammatical slips; the conclusion also introduces claims that were not developed earlier. Prioritise grouping related reasons into focused paragraphs and editing sentences for accurate form and natural phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear positive position is maintained and supported with relevant reasons and a personal example, although the final claims about drugs and violence are undeveloped.
Develop fewer benefits more fully and ensure the conclusion synthesizes only ideas established in the main discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is easy to follow and uses clear sequencing, but several distinct reasons are crowded into one long body paragraph.
Separate companionship, children's development, and the personal example into focused paragraphs with clearer internal progression.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate and sometimes varied, but recurring spelling errors and unnatural collocations reduce precision.
Revise expressions such as "feel responsibilities," "return them the same feelings," and "fight with evil" into natural English.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms communicates the ideas, but errors in agreement, tense, articles, punctuation, and noun forms occur regularly.
Check each sentence for subject-verb agreement and consistent tense, particularly in the childhood anecdote.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds, cats, or other animals as members of their family. In your opinion, are such relationships good? Why or why not?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.