It is better to be unemployed than to do a job that people don't like. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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Sample Response
Some people argue that it is better to be unemployed than to do a job that people don't like, while others do not agree with that. From my perspective, I largely agree with it, as it might beit is might be uncomfortable for people to do a job that they do not like.
Opponents of the view argue that people need to find a job whether they like it or not. Admittedly, for some people they do not have the chance to choose what work to do. For example, for some poor people, they have no choice but to do some dirty or tiring jobsjob to earn an incomeearn incomes to make a livinglive for their familieswith their family. In this situation, they must do a job, even if they do not like it at all. If they choose to give up the job they hate, they will become hungryhuggry or even die.
Nevertheless, although some people might face severe hardshippeople might be very tough in their liveslifes, if they can have the opportunity to make a choicemake a decision to choose, they might make the same decision suggested by the statementas the view said. They might choose to be unemployed rather than doing a jobwhen doing the job they do not like. A prime example is that if some people do the job they dislike, they will feel very uncomfortable and they will feel the time when working is very long and tough. Thus, if they are in this situation for a long time, they might lose hope forlose the hope for their future. Furthermore, doing a job they dislike might decrease their interests in learning something about their job or just improving their skills to do the job better. Therefore, I largely agree with that view.
In conclusion, I largely agree with the view that it is better to be unemployed than to do a job that people don't like. If they do the job they hate, not only do they feel deeply uncomfortable and strained at workare they very uncomfortable and tough when working, but also it might decrease their interests in learning something about their job or improveimprocve the skills.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay presents a clear position and directly addresses the prompt with relevant main ideas. However, the supporting arguments rely on somewhat repetitive points about personal discomfort rather than fully exploring the wider implications of unemployment. To achieve a higher band, strengthen the depth of your arguments and refine your spelling and grammatical accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You state a clear stance and address both sides of the argument with relevant supporting examples.
Provide deeper, more varied arguments on the consequences of unemployment versus disliked employment rather than repeating emotional discomfort.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is organized into clear paragraphs with a logical overall progression from introduction to conclusion.
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect your sentences more smoothly and avoid repetitive transitions like 'if they'.
Lexical Resource
An adequate vocabulary range is used to address the topic, though there are several noticeable spelling and word choice errors.
Proofread your writing carefully to eliminate accurate word-formation and spelling slips such as 'huggry', 'improcve', and 'make a live'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted with generally clear meaning, despite noticeable grammatical errors.
Focus on refining modal verb structures and noun-number agreement to improve accuracy in complex sentences.