Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. To what extent do you agree with this view?
Sample Response
In today’s time we come across plethora of advertising via various mediums like Outdoor, Print, TV and Online. If done ethically, advertising is beneficial to advertisers as well as consumers. However there is a rising concern about some companies using unethical methods of advertising which is having a harmful effect on the society. In following paragraphs I will delve deeper on the issue. In today’s time, TV viewers get to see lot of advertisements during breaks in between their favourite TV programs. This deviates their concentration thereby reducing entertainment value of the programs they are watching. Another drawback attributed to advertising is that kids and youngsters fall prey to appealing advertising of fast foods chains like Mac Donald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Pizza Hut etc and they get attracted to unhealthy fast food resulting in various kinds of health problems like obesity, juvenile diabetes etc. Also, few people argue that some companies use obscene materials in their advertisements to attract views which pollutes viewers’ minds especially that of younger ones. On the contrary, some people are of the opinion that advertising helps in increasing awareness about a company’s product or services. People get to know about company’s new offerings easily through advertising. Without advertising publicity of company’s product and services will not be possible. Thus advertising helps companies in increasing their sales and profits. According to some school of thoughts, advertising creates demand by educating its target customers about new ways of using an existing product or service. To sum up the discussion, I would like to add that advertising is important for a company to sustain itself in the competitive market but companies should follow certain ethics and a code of conduct in order to eliminate harmful effects of advertising. World Count: 290
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add article and noun Original: plethora of advertising Suggested revision: a plethora of advertisements Why it matters: The countable expression requires ‘a’, and ‘advertisements’ names the individual items.
- 2. Use standard plural Original: mediums Suggested revision: media Why it matters: ‘Media’ is the standard plural of ‘medium’ in this context.
- 3. Add definite article Original: In following paragraphs Suggested revision: In the following paragraphs Why it matters: The specific paragraphs that follow require the article ‘the’.
- 4. Fix verb preposition Original: on Suggested revision: into Why it matters: The verb ‘delve’ takes the preposition ‘into’.
- 5. Use concise time phrase Original: In today’s time, TV viewers Suggested revision: Today, TV viewers Why it matters: ‘Today’ expresses the same meaning more naturally and concisely.
- 6. Add missing article Original: see lot of advertisements Suggested revision: see a lot of advertisements Why it matters: The quantity phrase is ‘a lot of’.
- 7. Use correct verb Original: deviates their concentration Suggested revision: distracts them Why it matters: ‘Distract’ is the correct verb for diverting someone’s attention.
- 8. Correct brand spelling Original: Mac Donald’s Suggested revision: McDonald’s Why it matters: The restaurant name is misspelled.
- 9. Use natural passive Original: get Suggested revision: are Why it matters: ‘Are attracted to’ is the standard passive construction here.
- 10. Separate result phrase Original: fast food resulting Suggested revision: fast food, resulting Why it matters: A comma should introduce the following result phrase.
- 11. Preserve intended quantity Original: few Suggested revision: some Why it matters: ‘Few’ implies that almost nobody holds the view, which conflicts with the intended introduction of a viewpoint.
- 12. Use uncountable noun Original: materials Suggested revision: material Why it matters: ‘Material’ is normally uncountable when referring generally to content.
Suggested Rewrites
- plethora of advertising a plethora of advertisements
- mediums media
- In following paragraphs In the following paragraphs
- on into
- In today’s time, TV viewers Today, TV viewers
- see lot of advertisements see a lot of advertisements
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s main strength is its range of relevant examples, including fast-food promotion, sexualized material, and the commercial value of advertising. Its central weakness is that the exact extent of agreement remains somewhat implicit, while some points describe annoying or harmful advertising without clearly establishing why the methods are unethical. The highest priority is to state a precise position and connect every example directly to an ethical principle.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the issue from both sides and reaches a relevant qualified conclusion, but its precise degree of agreement and ethical reasoning are uneven.
State the extent of agreement explicitly and explain why each criticized advertising method violates a specific ethical standard.
Coherence and Cohesion
The discussion moves broadly from concerns to benefits and a conclusion, but paragraphing is absent and some linking expressions feel mechanical.
Use separate paragraphs for unethical practices and legitimate benefits, with one controlling idea developed in each paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate and sometimes varied, though recurrent awkward collocations, capitalization, and imprecise wording reduce naturalness.
Replace phrases such as deviates their concentration and school of thoughts with accurate, conventional collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a mix of sentence forms and remains understandable, but article, agreement, plural, and punctuation errors recur throughout.
Edit systematically for missing articles and subject-verb agreement, especially in sentences containing singular company and advertising nouns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. To what extent do you agree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.