Nowadays, many people have an unhealthy diet and do not exercise regularly. What are the reasons behind this trend? How can we encourage these people to live healthy lifestyles?
Sample Response
Past few decades, humankind put more weight on education and health regards. It is well-known that nowadays, a host of humankind’s diet is unhealthy and they are not doing exercise often. In this essay, I discuss the reasons behind it and demonstrate how we can encourage them in the following paragraphs, along with a logical conclusion.
There are several reasons behind this tribulation. First and foremost, in this tech-savvy era, most people have a hectic work schedule, and life is running on rate speed and have less time for other activities. As a result, they are not doing yoga or any fitness activity. Additionally, for doing this, the person has to be punctual about edible. Secondly, due to heavy workload and western influence, people prefer convenience or junk food that is unhygienic and not good for health. For example, in the USA, 72% of citizens like to eat outside instead of homemade food for time availability which forges many health predicaments.
The bureaucrats and the psyche of people play a vital role in tackling this adversity. The authority should have to promote or spread awareness for being healthy and fit in the community. For instance, the employee has to prefer to walk and give more preference to climbing stairs over an elevator, and walking is full cardiovascular. Another solution is that people have to understand the cons of unhealthy nourishment and prioritize homemade protein food. For example, international learners who go to foreign countries for education pay more money for healthy food than undigested edible.
In conclusion, although unhealthy diet and lack of fitness activities are seen nowadays because of less time availability or vocal time and western culture. In my view, the authority has to be aware of people, and people’s mindset tackles this problem more precisely.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix number agreement Original: a host of humankind’s diet Suggested revision: many people’s diets Why it matters: The plural idea requires a plural possessive noun and a plural head noun.
- 2. Use natural verb form Original: they are not doing exercise often Suggested revision: they do not exercise often Why it matters: Use the simple present and the verb “exercise” for a habitual activity.
- 3. Choose precise noun Original: tribulation Suggested revision: problem Why it matters: “Tribulation” refers to severe personal suffering and is unsuitable for this general trend.
- 4. Repair clause structure Original: life is running on rate speed and have Suggested revision: life moves at a rapid pace, leaving people with Why it matters: This replacement fixes the incorrect expression and supplies a clear subject for “less time.”
- 5. Use concise description Original: that is unhygienic and not good for health Suggested revision: which is unhealthy Why it matters: “Unhealthy” expresses the intended nutritional meaning more precisely and concisely.
- 6. Fix reason phrase Original: for time availability Suggested revision: because of limited time Why it matters: The original prepositional phrase is not idiomatic English.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: which forges many health predicaments Suggested revision: which causes many health problems Why it matters: “Cause health problems” is the appropriate collocation for the intended effect.
- 8. Name institution clearly Original: The bureaucrats Suggested revision: Government bodies Why it matters: “Government bodies” more accurately identifies the public institutions that can promote health.
- 9. Use precise expression Original: the psyche of people Suggested revision: people’s attitudes Why it matters: The argument concerns attitudes rather than the entire human psyche.
- 10. Fix modal construction Original: The authority should have to Suggested revision: The authorities should Why it matters: “Should have to” is redundant here, and the generic institution is naturally plural.
- 11. Use correct collocation Original: promote or spread awareness for being healthy and fit Suggested revision: raise awareness of healthy lifestyles Why it matters: English uses “raise awareness of” when describing a public-information effort.
- 12. Use formal wording Original: people have to understand the cons Suggested revision: people need to understand the disadvantages Why it matters: “Disadvantages” is more precise and suitably formal in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- a host of humankind’s diet many people’s diets
- they are not doing exercise often they do not exercise often
- tribulation problem
- life is running on rate speed and have life moves at a rapid pace, leaving people with
- that is unhygienic and not good for health which is unhealthy
- for time availability because of limited time
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both causes and solutions and is organised into clear topic-based paragraphs, with the causes paragraph offering the strongest development. However, frequent inaccurate word choices and grammatical errors make several explanations and examples difficult to follow, while some support is implausible or insufficiently connected. Prioritise clear, precise sentences and develop each proposed solution with a directly relevant explanation or realistic example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are addressed with relevant causes and solutions, but several ideas and examples are insufficiently developed or unclear.
Explain how each solution would change behaviour and support it with a realistic, directly relevant example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure gives the essay a broadly clear progression, although some links within sentences are mechanical or difficult to follow.
Use simpler referencing and linking so that every supporting sentence has an explicit logical connection to its main idea.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices sometimes obscure the intended meaning.
Prefer familiar, precise expressions such as healthy food and busy schedules instead of forcing unusual synonyms like edible or tribulation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, and word forms reduce clarity.
Build complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check agreement and article use before adding complex clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, many people have an unhealthy diet and do not exercise regularly. What are the reasons behind this trend? How can we encourage these people to live healthy lifestyles?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.