Some people believe that a college or university education should be available to all students. Others believe that higher education should be available only to good students. Discuss these views. Which view do you agree with?
Sample Response
People learn through their entire lives. They constantly improve their knowledge and develop. I think that a college or university education should be available to all students because every person has the right to choose the way to self-perfection. Bellow I will give some of my reasons to support my position.
First of all, every person should have the chance to get a higher degree, gain new knowledge and experience. However, some people believe that higher education should be available only to good students. I think it is silly. It is like to make unavailable traveling for one who does not have IQ high enough.
Second of all, some young people do not do well at school but they have great personality and ability to learn. They are self-confident, persistent and patient. With these qualities they can get higher grades then their classmates who are talented but lazy. Imagine for example situation when a teenager gets high grades because his or her parents constantly make him or her study and help to do most of the homework. In this case a child does very good at school but I think a college can show the opposite results.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: through their entire lives Suggested revision: throughout their lives Why it matters: The adverb 'throughout' expresses the lifelong duration more naturally.
- 2. Improve word choice Original: way to self-perfection Suggested revision: path to self-improvement Why it matters: This phrase conveys the intended idea in more natural academic English.
- 3. Correct spelling Original: Bellow Suggested revision: Below Why it matters: 'Bellow' is a different word, while 'below' introduces the reasons that follow.
- 4. Use precise collocation Original: get Suggested revision: earn Why it matters: Degrees are conventionally described as being earned rather than got.
- 5. Use formal tone Original: it is silly Suggested revision: this restriction is unreasonable Why it matters: The replacement states the criticism more precisely and formally.
- 6. Clarify the qualities Original: great personality and ability Suggested revision: strong personal qualities and the ability Why it matters: 'Great personality' is too vague here, and 'ability' needs a determiner before the following infinitive.
- 7. Correct comparison Original: then Suggested revision: than Why it matters: A comparison between two groups requires 'than', not 'then'.
- 8. Clarify the object Original: to Suggested revision: them Why it matters: The object 'them' is needed to show that the parents help the teenager.
- 9. Use adverb form Original: good Suggested revision: well Why it matters: The verb 'does' must be modified by the adverb 'well'.
- 10. Clarify the meaning Original: a college can show the opposite results Suggested revision: the same student may perform very differently at college Why it matters: The original wording incorrectly makes the college the agent that shows results.
- 11. Clarify development Original: knowledge and develop Suggested revision: knowledge and develop personally Why it matters: The added adverb clarifies what kind of development the sentence means.
- 12. Use concise wording Original: because every person has the right Suggested revision: because everyone has the right Why it matters: 'Everyone' expresses the same universal meaning more concisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- through their entire lives throughout their lives
- way to self-perfection path to self-improvement
- Bellow Below
- get earn
- it is silly this restriction is unreasonable
- great personality and ability strong personal qualities and the ability
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response has a clear position and offers a relevant example about school performance, but it is substantially under length and does not genuinely discuss the case for restricting higher education to good students. The argument also ends without a conclusion. The priority is to develop both views fairly, support each with distinct reasoning, and finish with a concise conclusion reaffirming the position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear opinion is presented, but one required view is barely examined and the short, unfinished response limits idea development.
Explain the strongest reason for restricting access as well as the case for universal access, then weigh them in a conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are separated into paragraphs and broadly follow the stated position, though progression is basic and the response stops abruptly.
Use a complete four-paragraph structure with clearer logical links between each claim, example, and implication.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary conveys the main ideas but includes several spelling errors and inaccurate or awkward combinations.
Use precise academic wording and proofread expressions such as comparisons, educational achievement, and access to travel or study.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and some complex sentences are understandable, but frequent article, preposition, comparison, and word-form errors reduce control.
Review article use, comparative forms, and clause construction, then edit each sentence for a complete and natural grammatical pattern.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that a college or university education should be available to all students. Others believe that higher education should be available only to good students. Discuss these views. Which view do you agree with?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.