Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well at school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
In today’s society, where the acquisition of knowledge is the key to better career prospects, having access to tertiary education is a life-changing opportunity for many students. However, some claim universities should only accept young students with the highest grades, while others believe every student, regardless of age and academic ability, should be given equal educational opportunities. I will discuss both views and state my opinion in the following essay.
Firstly, high school students with higher grades are more deserved to attend university as their grades somewhat imply that they have superior academic skills compared to their peers, be it a better memory, logical thinking or time management skills. Therefore, such students are more likely to handle the immense workload and pressure at university. Moreover, offering university places to only a limited number of students would result in high-quality undergraduates. For example, most prestigious colleges in Vietnam, whose acceptance rates are low, only recruit the highest scorers in the national university entrance exam to make sure that all of the universities resources are available for students who have a higher chance of success.
As sensible and beneficial as it is, many people oppose the aforementioned idea since they believe that only accepting young academically-gifted individuals is unfair to older students or those who do not do well at school. Firstly, a student’s s age or performance at school does not always reflect their potential to succeed at university. Thus, it is unethical to deny access to tertiary education to some students, especially in a world where formal qualifications are of great importance in gaining employment. Also, there is more to college admissions than just academic performance. In fact, many well-known universities in America, like Harvard or Yale, not only accept academically gifted students but also those who are particularly gifted in sport or art. This helps to maintain a diverse community, where each student is valued and rewarded for what they are good at instead of just academic excellence.
In conclusion, although only accepting students with high marks is advantageous in some ways, I believe providing university places for all students is more just and beneficial in the long run.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct adjective Original: deserved Suggested revision: deserving Why it matters: Deserving describes someone who merits an opportunity, whereas deserved describes what has been merited.
- 2. Complete comparison correctly Original: superior academic skills compared to their peers Suggested revision: superior academic skills to those of their peers Why it matters: Superior takes to, and those of supplies the correct comparison with the peers' skills.
- 3. Place only clearly Original: offering university places to only a limited number Suggested revision: offering university places to a limited number Why it matters: Removing only avoids an awkward split between the preposition and its object without changing the claim.
- 4. Use precise collocation Original: high-quality undergraduates Suggested revision: a highly capable student body Why it matters: A highly capable student body expresses the intended academic quality more naturally.
- 5. Add possessive apostrophe Original: universities resources Suggested revision: universities' resources Why it matters: The plural possessive needs an apostrophe after universities.
- 6. Remove duplicated letter Original: a student’s s age Suggested revision: a student’s age Why it matters: The extra s after the possessive form is a transcription error.
- 7. Remove unnecessary hyphen Original: academically-gifted Suggested revision: academically gifted Why it matters: An adverb ending in -ly is not hyphenated before the adjective it modifies.
- 8. Use natural preposition Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: Gifted at is the more natural collocation for abilities in activities.
- 9. Use natural comparison Original: more just Suggested revision: fairer Why it matters: Fairer is a more direct and idiomatic comparative for educational access.
- 10. Avoid an absolute claim Original: acquisition of knowledge is the key to better career prospects Suggested revision: education can improve career prospects Why it matters: The revision expresses the career benefit clearly without the overly absolute metaphor of a single key.
- 11. Use precise reporting verb Original: their grades somewhat imply Suggested revision: their grades may indicate Why it matters: May indicate expresses the tentative connection between grades and academic skills more naturally.
- 12. Make examples parallel Original: be it a better memory, logical thinking or time management skills Suggested revision: whether through better memory, logical thinking or time-management skills Why it matters: Whether through introduces the examples consistently and avoids mixing a singular noun phrase with plural skills.
Suggested Rewrites
- deserved deserving
- superior academic skills compared to their peers superior academic skills to those of their peers
- offering university places to only a limited number offering university places to a limited number
- high-quality undergraduates a highly capable student body
- universities resources universities' resources
- a student’s s age a student’s age
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear opinion, develops both perspectives with relevant reasoning, and maintains a logical argument throughout. Its main limitation is a small number of imprecise claims and awkward language choices, alongside occasional grammatical slips. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify broad assertions more carefully and refine collocations and possessive forms so the otherwise strong discussion reads with greater precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly addressed, the writer's position is clear, and the main ideas receive relevant explanation and examples.
Develop the claim that open admission benefits everyone more precisely by acknowledging practical limits or explaining how equal opportunity could operate.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion.
Strengthen the connection between fairness, employability, and diverse admissions so the second body paragraph forms an even tighter argument.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective topic language such as tertiary education, academic ability, and formal qualifications.
Replace awkward collocations such as more deserved with natural forms such as more deserving or better qualified.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with good control, and the few errors do not impede communication.
Proofread possessives and accidental repetitions, especially student's s and universities resources, to improve accuracy.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well at school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.