Some people believe that university students should pay all the cost of their studies, while others think that higher education should be free. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
The question of who should bear the financial burden of higher education is widely debated in many societies. Some advocate that university students should cover their entire educational expenses, while others argue for completely free higher education. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own position on this issue.
Those who support student-funded education maintain that individuals are the primary beneficiaries of their degrees and should therefore invest in their own futures. When students pay for their education, they often develop a stronger commitment to their studies and appreciate the value of what they are receiving. For instance, research from several universities shows that self-financing students tend to complete their courses with fewer delays and demonstrate higher engagement levels. Moreover, privately funded education reduces the burden on taxpayers, many of whom will never directly benefit from university facilities or services.
Conversely, proponents of free higher education emphasize its broader societal benefits and role in promoting equality of opportunity. When financial barriers are removed, talented individuals from all socioeconomic backgrounds can access tertiary education, creating a more diverse and skilled workforce. Countries like Germany and Norway, which offer free university education, have demonstrated that this approach can lead to high levels of social mobility and economic innovation. Furthermore, societies with highly educated populations tend to have lower crime rates, better public health outcomes, and more civic engagement.
After weighing these arguments, I believe that while students should contribute something toward their education to ensure commitment, the bulk of higher education costs should be publicly funded. A hybrid model with modest fees supplemented by extensive scholarships and income-contingent loans would maintain quality while ensuring that financial circumstances do not prevent capable students from accessing education that benefits society as a whole.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a direct verb Original: advocate Suggested revision: argue Why it matters: Argue that is the more natural reporting structure for introducing this position.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: cover their entire educational expenses Suggested revision: cover all their educational expenses Why it matters: Cover all their expenses is the more idiomatic expression for paying every cost.
- 3. Make the signpost concise Original: presenting my own position on this issue Suggested revision: stating my own position Why it matters: The shorter phrase conveys the same essay structure more directly.
- 4. Use a concrete reference Original: appreciate the value of what they are receiving Suggested revision: appreciate the value of their education Why it matters: Naming their education removes the vague reference to what they are receiving.
- 5. Clarify who pays Original: financing Suggested revision: funded Why it matters: Self-funded more directly describes students paying for their own education.
- 6. Use concise phrasing Original: complete their courses with fewer delays Suggested revision: complete their courses more promptly Why it matters: More promptly expresses faster completion more directly than fewer delays.
- 7. Use natural word order Original: demonstrate higher engagement levels Suggested revision: demonstrate higher levels of engagement Why it matters: Levels of engagement is the more natural academic collocation.
- 8. Keep the payer precise Original: privately funded education Suggested revision: student-funded education Why it matters: Private funding could come from several sources, while the argument specifically concerns students paying.
- 9. Improve the collocation Original: more Suggested revision: greater Why it matters: Greater is the natural comparative modifier for an abstract degree of engagement.
- 10. State the contribution precisely Original: contribute something toward their education Suggested revision: make a financial contribution toward their education Why it matters: Financial contribution specifies the kind of support meant by something.
- 11. Avoid overclaiming certainty Original: ensure Suggested revision: encourage Why it matters: Fees may encourage commitment, but they cannot ensure it.
- 12. Clarify the funding mix Original: modest fees supplemented by extensive scholarships and income-contingent loans Suggested revision: modest fees alongside extensive scholarships and income-contingent loans Why it matters: Scholarships and loans accompany fees; they do not supplement the fees themselves.
Suggested Rewrites
- advocate argue
- cover their entire educational expenses cover all their educational expenses
- presenting my own position on this issue stating my own position
- appreciate the value of what they are receiving appreciate the value of their education
- financing funded
- complete their courses with fewer delays complete their courses more promptly
Why this response received Band 8.5
The essay fully addresses both views and presents a nuanced, practical position, supported by relevant reasoning and examples. Its strongest feature is the controlled integration of argument, evidence, and evaluation across a highly coherent structure; the main limitation is that a few empirical claims are presented broadly. The highest-priority refinement is to qualify those claims or explain their relevance more precisely, deepening an already persuasive response.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both perspectives are thoroughly developed, and the writer's balanced position is clear, specific, and convincingly justified.
Qualify the broad research and country examples slightly so that every supporting claim is as rigorous as the central argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is exceptionally well organised, with seamless progression within and between paragraphs and consistently effective cohesion.
Consider making the opening roadmap less formulaic to achieve an even more natural transition into the substantive discussion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and natural throughout, with sophisticated topic-specific choices used flexibly and accurately.
Maintain this precision while varying a few repeated education-related terms to add subtle stylistic breadth.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A full range of complex structures is used accurately and naturally, with consistently controlled punctuation and sentence formation.
Preserve this level of control while experimenting with slightly more concise sentence patterns where emphasis would benefit from brevity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that university students should pay all the cost of their studies, while others think that higher education should be free. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.