Many people think that students who go to university directly from school benefit less and can contribute less to their courses than those who travel or do jobs before they start their university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Sample Response
In today's worldtoday’s modern world, many students plan to go to university immediately after they finish school. However, some people assert that it would be more beneficial if they couldcan go on a trip or start workingstart on working for a perioda certain period of time before attending university courses. Therefore, it is important for us to establish the advantages and disadvantages of this choicepositive and negative impacts of this argument before we reach a reasonable conclusion.
Undoubtedly, those who wish to broaden their horizonswiden their view by travelling or working will certainly have more experience and are more knowledgeable than others who go to university after they finish school. When they travel to other countries, they are exposedthey are being exposed to a new environment with different lifestyles; thus, theylifestyles, thus they will probably learn about the cultures and traditionslearn the cultures and traditions from the locals. They may be more open-minded and be more adaptablehave higher adaptability than others. Besides, working may benefit them by allowing themopening up an avenue to allow them to meet a wide variety of peoplea wide variety of new people every day. This experience can help themIt is proven that they can, sooner or later, develop excellent interpersonal skillsan excellent interpersonal skill which playplays an indispensable role when they start universityenter a university. By developing these crucial social skillsBy measuring the crucial social skill, they can interact with others more confidently.
Nevertheless, there is always another side to the issueanother side of a coin. Travelling abroad and working atfor a part-time job do have detrimental side effects. One of the major drawbacks is they may be graduated from university later than their friends of the same age due to the reason that they need to experience more from travelling and working which require them to spend one or two years, or even more time. According to a recent research conducted in Malaysia, human’s interpretation and learning ability deteriorate as we get older which clearly explains that our learning progress will be slowed down if we start our tertiary education late. As a consequence, they may fail to achieve their aspirations even though they have more life experience than others.
In conclusion, I think every student has their own choice in dealing whether to start tertiary education after they finish school or to travel abroad or work for a short period so as to gain more experience before attending university. I believe they can achieve their set goals if they are willing to work hard regardless of experience and age barriers.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest in its balanced, logically sequenced discussion of how travel or work may develop maturity and how delaying university may create drawbacks. However, it does not establish a clear degree of agreement with the statement and only partly addresses students' contribution to their courses. Prioritise a definite position in the introduction and conclusion, then connect each main paragraph directly to both benefit and contribution.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Relevant advantages and disadvantages of delaying university are discussed, but the response remains neutral and gives limited attention to contribution within courses.
Take a clear degree-of-agreement position and evaluate how each pathway affects both university benefit and classroom contribution.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is clearly paragraphed and progresses logically through contrasting perspectives, although several linking phrases are formulaic or imprecise.
Use more direct transitions that show how each paragraph advances the central position rather than merely announcing another side.
Lexical Resource
A fairly wide range of academic and topic vocabulary is used, but several collocations and word forms are awkward or inaccurate.
Refine expressions such as widen their horizons, interpersonal skills, and a piece of research while removing vague or misused phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentences is attempted, but recurring errors in passive forms, agreement, articles, and clause control reduce accuracy.
Revise complex sentences for correct verb patterns and agreement, particularly constructions involving may graduate and travelling or working requires.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people think that students who go to university directly from school benefit less and can contribute less to their courses than those who travel or do jobs before they start their university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.