University education should be restricted to the very best academic students, rather than being available to a large proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
At the entrance university examination, the prospective students’ application mainly selected based on their overall academic performance at high school. It is argued that higher education only provided to the youngsters who have an outstanding academic performance. As a result, only low percentage of young generation can attend university. In my opinion, I believe that it should be accessible to everyone. The term of outstanding academic performer can lead to an injustice judgement. Genetic factor plays an important role in developing a smart person. But this factor is not enough. In fact, intelligence is affected by many factors which strongly related to how much money you invest. This can be ranged from simple to complicated things. Brain needs nutritious foods as well as supplements to develop well even since we are at our fetus stage. Thus, we obviously have to increase our budget to fulfill this kind of needs. Other factor is the education facilities that we can afford such as schools, tutors, and books. Its price often followed by its quality. The more we pay, the more we are likely to get high quality. All of this can only be afforded by the richs. The poors experience difficulty in providing the nutritious foods and education facilities for their children. As a consequence, the group which comprises of very best students at school often belong to the richs. However, nowadays many scholarships are available for the poors. They can successfully graduated. In fact, there are many cases that their life a way much better if they have their university degree. When the restriction is imposed, they don’t have the equal right to pursue their degree in tertiary education. Education is a long-term investment for the future of a nation. Its benefits are going back to the whole society. By giving an equal chance, there will be more population that hold their university degree. Each person give their best effort because they have a skill in particular area which they had acquired in university. They can be seen as the country’s assets to improve the quality of its human resources and, moreover, accelerate its economic development. To sum up, I completely disagree that the university is merely an exclusive place for those who marked as an outstanding student. However, everyone is capable in pursuing their degree. Therefore, higher education should be provided for all.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add passive auxiliary Original: higher education only provided Suggested revision: higher education should be provided only Why it matters: The passive construction needs an auxiliary verb, and only should modify the eligible group.
- 2. Use formal noun Original: the youngsters Suggested revision: young people Why it matters: Young people is more appropriate than youngsters in formal academic writing.
- 3. Remove unnecessary article Original: an outstanding academic performance Suggested revision: outstanding academic performance Why it matters: Performance is used uncountably in this general statement.
- 4. Add required article Original: only low percentage Suggested revision: only a low percentage Why it matters: The singular countable phrase percentage requires an article.
- 5. Use plural group noun Original: generation Suggested revision: people Why it matters: Young generation needs an article, while young people fits the meaning directly.
- 6. Remove redundant stance Original: In my opinion, I believe Suggested revision: I believe Why it matters: Both expressions perform the same function, so using both is repetitive.
- 7. Use adjective form Original: injustice judgement Suggested revision: unjust judgment Why it matters: An adjective, rather than the noun injustice, is needed to modify judgment.
- 8. Use plural noun Original: factor Suggested revision: factors Why it matters: The statement refers generally to genetic influences, so the countable noun should be plural.
- 9. Add linking verb Original: which strongly related Suggested revision: that are strongly related Why it matters: The relative clause needs are to form the passive expression are related.
- 10. Use active verb form Original: This can be ranged Suggested revision: These can range Why it matters: Range is intransitive here, and the plural pronoun correctly refers to multiple factors.
- 11. Add definite article Original: Brain needs Suggested revision: The brain needs Why it matters: The singular body organ requires the definite article in this general reference.
- 12. Use uncountable food Original: providing the nutritious foods Suggested revision: providing nutritious food Why it matters: Food is normally uncountable when referring generally to nourishment.
Suggested Rewrites
- higher education only provided higher education should be provided only
- the youngsters young people
- an outstanding academic performance outstanding academic performance
- only low percentage only a low percentage
- generation people
- In my opinion, I believe I believe
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear disagreement with restricting university access and offers relevant arguments about socioeconomic inequality and education’s wider social value. Its main limitation is that several claims are overgeneralised or only loosely connected, while frequent grammatical errors make the reasoning less precise. Focus first on building each main argument through a clear claim, explanation, and realistic example, then edit sentence forms carefully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained and supported with relevant ideas about unequal opportunity and national benefit, though development is sometimes broad or speculative.
Support each main reason with a focused explanation and a concrete example that directly proves why broad university access is preferable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a generally logical path, but some connections between nutrition, wealth, scholarships, and access are loose or repetitive.
Separate the inequality and societal-benefit arguments into distinct paragraphs with clearer internal progression from claim to consequence.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary to discuss education and inequality, but inaccurate collocations and word forms frequently reduce naturalness.
Use precise academic expressions for social groups and educational access, and check word forms before adding ambitious vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence structures, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, verb forms, and clause construction reduce control.
Prioritise complete clause patterns and systematically correct subject-verb agreement, articles, and participle forms during revision.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
University education should be restricted to the very best academic students, rather than being available to a large proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.