It is neither possible nor useful for a country to provide university places for a high proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Furnishing the young generations with tertiary education play an indispensable part in the government’s policies. However, most policy makers reckon that it is infeasible and inefficient to offer the vast majority of the youth higher education. From my perspective, I completely agree with this statement for the following reasons.
It proves impossible for a country to provide entry to tertiary education for all young people. The first reason is the prohibitive tuition fees and the inability to afford them of the majority of youths. College or university undergraduates are supposed to learn from experiments, purchase costly materials during a term, let alone other field trips if one majors in practical fields of study like engineering or medical. All of these plus the fact that many students from rural areas find it tough to meet only the annual tuition fees, especially in poverty-stricken countries. This leads to the second reason in which I mean government have other priorities such as universal education, healthcare system to invest in.
It also does not seem useful for the whole country once the state wish to accommodate the youth with higher education. This is primarily because there is no guarantee that students will become successful and contribute to the well-being of their nation after finishing their education. There are the cases when distinguished graduates fail to secure a decent job and thus become unemployed, exacerbating the burden on society as a consequence. Even worse, some are likely to slack off with their studies or even drop out of school as they either take higher education for granted or find no motivation in furthering their knowledge, given the thought that tertiary education is subsidized or free of charge.
In conclusion, it’s my firm belief that not only it is neither possible nor useful for a country to provide university places for a high proportion of young people
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use singular group noun Original: young generations with tertiary Suggested revision: younger generation with tertiary Why it matters: 'The younger generation' is the conventional singular expression for young people collectively.
- 2. Subject-verb agreement Original: play Suggested revision: plays Why it matters: The gerund phrase functioning as the subject is singular and takes 'plays'.
- 3. Use direct reason Original: given the thought that Suggested revision: because they believe Why it matters: This phrase states the students' belief more directly and idiomatically.
- 4. Natural group reference Original: the youth higher education Suggested revision: young people higher education Why it matters: 'Young people' is the natural direct object in this construction.
- 5. State claim directly Original: proves Suggested revision: is Why it matters: 'Is impossible' expresses the judgement more directly and naturally here.
- 6. Use access collocation Original: entry Suggested revision: access Why it matters: 'Access to education' is the standard collocation.
- 7. Correct academic action Original: learn from experiments Suggested revision: conduct experiments Why it matters: Students 'conduct experiments' when practical work creates educational costs.
- 8. Clarify course duration Original: during a term Suggested revision: during their courses Why it matters: The plural phrase better matches the general discussion of university study.
- 9. Remove faulty connector Original: let alone other field trips Suggested revision: and participate in field trips Why it matters: 'Let alone' does not logically coordinate this third example with the preceding costs.
- 10. Use parallel nouns Original: medical Suggested revision: medicine Why it matters: The coordination requires two field-of-study nouns.
- 11. Use afford collocation Original: meet only the annual tuition fees Suggested revision: afford even the annual tuition fees Why it matters: People 'afford' fees, while 'even' conveys that tuition alone is difficult to pay.
- 12. Clarify connection Original: in which I mean Suggested revision: meaning that Why it matters: 'Meaning that' clearly introduces the explanation of the second reason.
Suggested Rewrites
- young generations with tertiary younger generation with tertiary
- play plays
- given the thought that because they believe
- the youth higher education young people higher education
- proves is
- entry access
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear position and organises its case around the feasibility and usefulness of widespread university provision, with relevant explanation in both body paragraphs. Its impact is reduced by some imprecise reasoning, recurrent grammatical slips, and an unfinished conclusion. The highest priority is to sharpen the causal logic of each argument and leave time to complete and proofread the final paragraph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The task is fully addressed with a clear position and relevant main ideas, though some support is imprecise or insufficiently convincing.
Show more precisely why limited public resources make high participation infeasible rather than focusing mainly on students' ability to pay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through distinct arguments, but a few transitions are awkward and the incomplete conclusion disrupts closure.
Use direct topic-to-support links within paragraphs and finish the conclusion with a complete restatement of the position.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of topic vocabulary, although several unnatural collocations and word choices weaken precision.
Replace awkward phrases such as furnishing generations and provide entry with natural academic collocations used consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used with some control, but agreement errors, fragments, and faulty clause patterns occur repeatedly.
Proofread for subject-verb agreement and ensure every complex sentence, especially the conclusion, has a complete grammatical frame.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is neither possible nor useful for a country to provide university places for a high proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.