All university students should do some voluntary work to help the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is sometimes asserted that all tertiary students ought to participate in voluntary activities to bolster their communities. I mostly agree with this assertion given the multifaceted benefits these endeavours offer to both the students and the areas they serve even though certain students might be unable to contribute. The foremost rationale for my approval of students becoming volunteers lies in the skills that they might acquire. If they engage in voluntary projects, they might reap the opportunities to interact and collaborate with those from other universities or locals in a setting outside of their classroom. This might foster the acquisition of distinctive skills and qualities such as networking and sympathy, which can be conducive to both academic and professional success. Another reason why I support every learner in universities to perform voluntary work is the positive impacts they have on local communities. In reality, numerous student projects have been proven to be effective in addressing pressing communal issues. A prime example in this case is the “Safe Roads” project initiated by banking students in Hanoi. Over a decade, hundreds of them have worked as unpaid traffic controllers, contributing to not only reducing traffic congestion but also improving road safety near their campus. However, I acknowledge that voluntary work might not be feasible for all university students. Specifically, individual circumstances, spanning from health concerns to financial constraints, can render participation impractical for some. For instance, those who are struggling with paying their tuition fees might reasonably prioritise searching for paid part-time employment over unpaid volunteer opportunities to alleviate their financial burdens. In conclusion, I am largely in agreement with the idea of all university students becoming involved in voluntary projects given the chance to enhance their skills and local standards of living despite the fact that some students might not be in a position to join due to their personal situations. In my opinion, universities are to proactively develop a list of potential projects and encourage their students to participate in those that align with their interests and capabilities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix the collocation Original: reap the opportunities Suggested revision: have the opportunity Why it matters: English uses 'have the opportunity' rather than 'reap the opportunity'.
- 2. Name people precisely Original: those from other universities or locals Suggested revision: students from other universities or local residents Why it matters: The original pairing is unclear because 'those' and 'locals' do not identify parallel groups precisely.
- 3. Choose the intended quality Original: sympathy Suggested revision: empathy Why it matters: 'Empathy' more precisely describes understanding other people's feelings through community interaction.
- 4. Fix verb complementation Original: support every learner in universities to perform Suggested revision: support university students performing Why it matters: The verb 'support' is not naturally followed by an object plus a to-infinitive in this structure.
- 5. Fix number and reference Original: the positive impacts they have Suggested revision: the positive impact it has Why it matters: The singular phrase 'voluntary work' requires the singular pronoun and noun here.
- 6. Fix parallel structure Original: contributing to not only reducing traffic congestion but also improving road safety Suggested revision: contributing not only to reducing traffic congestion but also to improving road safety Why it matters: The correlative construction requires 'to' to be placed consistently before both gerund phrases.
- 7. Use the correct range Original: spanning Suggested revision: ranging Why it matters: 'Ranging from ... to ...' is the standard expression for the limits of a set.
- 8. Use natural complementation Original: struggling with paying Suggested revision: struggling to pay Why it matters: 'Struggle to' followed by an infinitive is the natural construction for difficulty performing an action.
- 9. Express recommendation clearly Original: universities are to proactively develop Suggested revision: universities should proactively develop Why it matters: 'Should' states the writer's recommendation more directly than the formal construction 'are to'.
- 10. Specify the community Original: their communities Suggested revision: their local communities Why it matters: Adding 'local' ties the claim precisely to the community named in the task.
- 11. Use concise wording Original: outside of their classroom Suggested revision: outside the classroom Why it matters: The revision removes an unnecessary preposition and avoids an overly narrow possessive reference.
- 12. Choose an accurate adjective Original: distinctive Suggested revision: valuable Why it matters: The examples are beneficial, but the essay does not establish that they are unusual or distinctive.
Suggested Rewrites
- reap the opportunities have the opportunity
- those from other universities or locals students from other universities or local residents
- sympathy empathy
- support every learner in universities to perform support university students performing
- the positive impacts they have the positive impact it has
- contributing to not only reducing traffic congestion but also improving road safety contributing not only to reducing traffic congestion but also to improving road safety
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its nuanced position, relevant concrete example, and controlled complex language. Its main limitation is the complete absence of paragraph breaks, which obscures the progression between benefits, the qualification, and the conclusion; several sophisticated word choices are also slightly unnatural. The highest-priority improvement is to divide the argument into clear functional paragraphs while preserving the logical links between them.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear qualified agreement is fully developed through benefits to students and communities, a specific example, and a well-supported exception.
Clarify whether the recommendation is universal participation or flexible encouragement so the final policy implication aligns exactly with the qualified thesis.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a logical sequence and uses cohesive links effectively, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph seriously weakens its organisation.
Separate the introduction, each main argument, the concession, and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs with clear central purposes.
Lexical Resource
The response displays a wide and sophisticated vocabulary, though collocations such as reap the opportunities and networking and sympathy are occasionally unnatural or imprecise.
Prioritise natural collocations, using phrases such as gain opportunities and networking and empathy where these meanings are intended.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences and subordinate structures are used extensively with strong control, and errors are rare and non-impeding.
Reduce the density of some long sentences and check reference clarity so complex ideas remain effortless to process.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
All university students should do some voluntary work to help the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.