Some say that instead of teaching a broad range of subjects, a university should focus on those necessary for a given profession. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many people believe that tertiary education should be focused on the future professions of students. Others, however, oppose this idea and opine that a university is a place to shape the overall ability of learners to create an enlightened nation. I agree with the latter view and believe that the way universities teach around the world is a far better setup than focusing only on job-centric education. First of all, in the modern world, the job sectors are dynamic and employees take on new challenges and work in diverse areas at their workplaces. Knowledge learned from the university subjects, only focused on careers, fails to enhance the overall skill of students. So, it can be catastrophic for a nation to have a workforce who have been taught job-related courses but were not introduced to the vast array of other aspects of education. Most of the companies, these days, search for people who are more dynamic and have diverse skills than candidates with good grades. For instance, most software development companies give priority to a candidate's performance, skill set and analytical ability than his academic results. Secondly, the competitive job sector all over the world forces many graduates to seek jobs in an entirely different sector than their majors in universities. Thus someone who graduated from IT is becoming a banker and someone from a finance background is working as an HR. Many also set up their own business instead of doing a job. It has all been possible due to a wide range of subjects that the universities have taught to those students. Furthermore, employees often need to enrol in different training and professional courses. Those who have finished a university degree with a wide range of subjects would do better in those training programmes and courses. For instance, IT professionals often take the MBA course and this is another good example of why university students should study an extensive range of subjects rather than studying some particular subjects for the jobs. I, therefore, conclude that a wide range of subjects at the university level is more useful for a student's career and overall growth. Hence, job-centric university education sounds like a good idea in theory, but in practice, this is a faulty one.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use academic noun Original: setup Suggested revision: approach Why it matters: 'Approach' more precisely describes a method of university education.
- 2. Correct comparison structure Original: an entirely different sector than their majors in universities Suggested revision: a sector entirely different from their university majors Why it matters: The adjective 'different' takes 'from,' and the revision clarifies the comparison.
- 3. Correct degree expression Original: graduated from IT is becoming a banker Suggested revision: graduated with a degree in IT may become a banker Why it matters: People graduate with a degree in a subject, and 'may become' fits the general example.
- 4. Name the occupation Original: working as an HR Suggested revision: working as an HR professional Why it matters: 'HR' names a field, so a person working in it needs an occupational noun.
- 5. Match plural subject Original: business Suggested revision: businesses Why it matters: The plural subject 'Many' refers to multiple people and therefore calls for 'businesses.'
- 6. Correct article choice Original: the Suggested revision: an Why it matters: The text introduces one MBA course generally, so it needs the indefinite article 'an.'
- 7. Remove vague wording Original: some particular subjects for the jobs Suggested revision: particular subjects for specific jobs Why it matters: The revision removes unnecessary determiners and makes the job reference precise.
- 8. Use precise evaluation Original: this is a faulty one Suggested revision: this approach is flawed Why it matters: The revision supplies a clear referent and uses a natural academic adjective.
- 9. Use concise noun phrase Original: focused on the future professions of students Suggested revision: focused on students' future professions Why it matters: The possessive construction expresses the relationship more directly.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: shape the overall ability of learners Suggested revision: develop learners' overall abilities Why it matters: Education develops abilities, and the plural noun suits the broad range of capacities intended.
- 11. Use standard term Original: the job sectors are dynamic Suggested revision: the job market is dynamic Why it matters: 'Job market' is the conventional term for changing employment conditions.
- 12. Avoid redundant phrasing Original: at their workplaces Suggested revision: at work Why it matters: 'At work' conveys the same location without repeating the idea already contained in 'employees.'
Suggested Rewrites
- setup approach
- an entirely different sector than their majors in universities a sector entirely different from their university majors
- graduated from IT is becoming a banker graduated with a degree in IT may become a banker
- working as an HR working as an HR professional
- business businesses
- the an
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a firm, relevant position and develops several convincing reasons why broad university study benefits adaptable careers, supported by concrete workplace examples. The major weakness is presentation as one uninterrupted paragraph, which obscures the otherwise logical progression, while several collocations and comparisons are also awkward. The highest priority is to divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs and polish comparative structures for greater clarity and control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is addressed directly through a consistent position, multiple well-developed reasons, and relevant examples linked to modern employment.
Qualify broad claims such as attributing career changes entirely to a wide curriculum to make the reasoning more rigorous.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has clear internal sequencing and effective signposting, but the absence of paragraph breaks substantially weakens organization and readability.
Separate the introduction, each main reason, and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs with one controlling idea in each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
A broad academic vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, though several phrases are imprecise or unnatural, including future professions and working as an HR.
Use more natural collocations such as future careers, work in human resources, and prefer one quality to another.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex sentences with generally good control, but errors in comparison, agreement, articles, and phrasing remain noticeable.
Review comparative structures and agreement carefully, for example give priority to performance rather than results and a workforce that has been taught.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some say that instead of teaching a broad range of subjects, a university should focus on those necessary for a given profession. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.