Over population of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.
Sample Response
ItThere is a fact that many problemsa lot of obstacles have been caused by overcrowding in citieswere caused by overcrowded cities. What problems could it cause and how citizens should prevent these challenges will be covered in this essay.
To begin, one of the foremost problems caused bythe foremost problem engendered by overpopulation is traffic jams. People spend their precious time on standing in a long- distance stopper, especially when there is a peak time. For instance, my father in order to reach the centre of the city extends one and a half hour. Hence, people could alleviate this problemmen could anticipate this obstacle by making use of bicyclesbicycles or bikes. It might reduce congestion on the roadssolve the problem on the streets; it could also make people healthier and fitteralso make people healthier and sturdier. In addition, governments should allocate more funding toappropriate more funds on new roads and special paths for bicycles. For example, authorities in Moscow tend to build wide roads consisting of four lines, so that trafficstream of cars could move faster.
The second major challengeThe second but not least convincing challenge is the lack of educational institutionsconstitutions such as schools and kindergartens. This is the most widespread problem all over the world. When a child is bornAt the beginning when the child is only born, parents maycould not find a free place for him or her in a state kindergartenin state kindergarten. Hence, they have to spend more money on a private oneon private one. Moreover, schools are always overcrowded with studentsreplete of students. It is sometimes hard to find a place. In order to address this problem, the government should buildprevent this obstacle government should build more schools in all parts of the city, not only in the centre.
To sum up, overpopulation in cities always was the serious concern of the countries. However, they were doing nothing to abrogate these challenges. In the future overcrowded urban areas can lead to the most deliberate problems.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies two relevant urban problems and offers plausible actions, with clear paragraph-level organization as its strongest feature. However, development is uneven, the conclusion does not consolidate the proposed solutions, and frequent inaccurate word choices and grammar errors make several sentences awkward. The priority is to express each problem-solution link in simpler, accurate language, then end by summarizing the specific actions governments and individuals should take.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Two serious problems are identified and relevant government and individual responses are proposed, although some support is limited or unclear.
Explain more precisely how each proposed action would reduce the named problem and summarize those solutions in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear problem-by-problem structure and broadly logical progression, though linking is sometimes mechanical.
Use references and logical transitions more selectively instead of repeatedly relying on formulaic connectors such as "Hence" and "Moreover".
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonably broad vocabulary, but frequent miscollocations and incorrect word choices reduce precision.
Prioritize accurate common combinations, replacing expressions such as "educational constitutions" and "long-distance stopper" with natural terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are attempted, but recurring errors in articles, tense, agreement, and sentence construction are noticeable.
Edit each sentence for a complete subject-verb structure and consistent articles and verb tenses before adding complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Over population of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.