In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruits and vegetables. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruits and vegetables. In this essay both disadvantages and advantages of the trend will be discussed before reaching the conclusion. Admittedly, changing communal open spaces into places whereinto a place where local citizens grow their own plants brings certain advantages. First of all, it alleviates the financial burden of some local residents, especially that of those who spendespecially for those who spend a large proportion of their totaltotally expenditure on groceries. Allowing them to plantAllowing them planting their own vegetables and fruits in public open spacesspace can save them money to a certain degree, which could be spentspend on something to improve their standard of living, such as healthcare, education, or simply recreationhealth care, education or simply entertainment. Moreover, those private gardens could be an ideal place for local seniors to develop a gardening hobby. RetireesRetired elders often find life uncomfortably boringfind it is uncomfortably boring after retiringsince they are retired from their previous work. Allowing those retired residents to plant in public spacesplant at public space could offer them a chance to find something interesting to do. This is quite common in China, retired seniors often plant vegetables and fruits at their own balconies or at public open space However, it would be an omission not to take the disadvantages of this trend into consideration. Public parks and open spaces are supposed to be a place for all the individuals living nearby to relax, socialisesocial, and hang out. If those public sites are converted into private gardens, all the local residents will have to find a new venue to conduct those activities. In addition, public open spaces, by definition, belong toare belonged to all the residents in the community. It is often the case that individuals convert public places into private gardens without the consent of local residents or authorities. Therefore, it raises a fundamental question about legality and legitimacy. In conclusion, although changing public open spaces into areas where individuals can cultivateinto somewhere individuals can grow their own vegetables can improve some people's financial condition and provide a place to spend their free time for seniorskill time for seniors, I believe that it is a violation of the rightsviolation of rights of all other local residents.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a well-structured argument that effectively addresses both sides of the prompt before giving a clear final opinion. The main limitation lies in recurring grammatical inaccuracies and minor vocabulary slips that occasionally disrupt the flow. To improve, focus on refining complex sentence structures and ensuring correct verb forms and prepositions throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of converting public spaces into community gardens and establishes a clear stance in the conclusion.
State your overall opinion earlier in the introduction to signal your position from the outset.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically with clear paragraphing and effective progression between ideas.
Use more varied transition words to link ideas smoothly across and within paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary is used effectively, though occasional word choice and collocation errors are present.
Review precise word forms and natural collocations, such as avoiding expressions like 'totally expenditure' or incorrect passive forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is attempted, though minor grammatical errors occur with some frequency.
Pay close attention to verb tense forms, passive constructions, and gerund structures during proofreading.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruits and vegetables. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.