The major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problem. What are the problems that young people living in cities are facing? What are the solutions to these problems?
Sample Response
Urbanization has been a major trend in the world for the past few decades, with cities expanding in both scale and complexity. This has led to a variety of problems for young people living in these areas; fortunately, potential solutions to these issues exist.
Young city dwellers are under pressure from multiple fronts. One of the major problems they encounter is economic insecurity, as the cost of living in cities can be staggering. Modern metropolitan cities, such as Tokyo, Singapore, and London, for example, are frequently among the world’s most expensive places. Any young person not well-off would likely struggle to make ends meet there; should they stay, they might have to settle for inadequate living conditions. Another possible issue is stress, as cities are known for being hyper-competitive environments. Being economic hubs, urban areas attract a significant number of people who seek employment and opportunities, creating a contest not for the faint-hearted.
There are certain measures for young people to either overcome or at least sidestep these difficulties. While economic uncertainty is undoubtedly severe, it can be dealt with by frugality in order to increase savings. Financial benefits can accrue thanks to thriftiness over time; in fact, moving to typically inexpensive areas like the city outskirts is also a form of frugal living, as it can reduce housing expenses significantly. Meanwhile, in order to address stress in life and at work, it is sometimes necessary for the youth to manage their expectations. If the pressure of city life keeps mounting, re-evaluating one’s priorities and ambitions, or switching to a less stressful occupation can help. Being rid of stress is the precursor to clarity of thought and the ability to solve other problems. These solutions, in my opinion, can be more sustainable and beneficial for oneself than relying on external help.
In conclusion, while young urban residents encounter various issues from their place of living, there is actually no shortage of measures to make their life less of a headache. Solid financial management and realistic expectations, for instance, are the key to resolving their hardship.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix the collocation Original: from Suggested revision: on Why it matters: The established expression is under pressure on multiple fronts.
- 2. Remove redundant wording Original: Modern metropolitan cities Suggested revision: Major cities Why it matters: Metropolitan cities is redundant, and major retains the intended scale.
- 3. Delete duplicate marker Original: , for example, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: Such as already introduces examples, making for example redundant.
- 4. Add relative clause Original: Any young person not well-off Suggested revision: Any young person who is not well-off Why it matters: The relative clause makes the description grammatically complete and easier to read.
- 5. Clarify the reference Original: should they stay Suggested revision: should they remain in such cities Why it matters: Naming the location makes the reference of stay explicit.
- 6. Use academic wording Original: a contest not for the faint-hearted Suggested revision: intense competition Why it matters: The revision conveys the same idea in a more precise academic register.
- 7. Fix modifier placement Original: measures for young people to either overcome or at least sidestep Suggested revision: measures young people can take to overcome or at least mitigate Why it matters: The revision places the paired alternatives correctly and gives measures a clear verb.
- 8. Use natural phrasing Original: by frugality Suggested revision: through frugal living Why it matters: Through frugal living is a more natural expression for the proposed method.
- 9. Use direct reference Original: the youth Suggested revision: young people Why it matters: Young people is more natural and consistent with the population named elsewhere.
- 10. Fix awkward collocation Original: issues from their place of living Suggested revision: issues arising from where they live Why it matters: The revision expresses the source of the problems in natural English.
- 11. Fix agreement and register Original: their life less of a headache Suggested revision: their lives less difficult Why it matters: The plural pronoun requires lives, and less difficult suits the formal register.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Being rid of stress is the precursor to clarity of thought and the ability to solve other problems. Suggested revision: Reducing stress can improve clarity of thought and the ability to solve other problems. Why it matters: The revision avoids an absolute claim and uses more natural phrasing while preserving the intended relationship.
Suggested Rewrites
- from on
- Modern metropolitan cities Major cities
- , for example, Delete
- Any young person not well-off Any young person who is not well-off
- should they stay should they remain in such cities
- a contest not for the faint-hearted intense competition
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its direct organisation of two clearly explained urban problems alongside practical, matching solutions, supported by flexible language and controlled complex sentences. Its main limitation is that some solutions are somewhat individualistic and a few expressions sound strained or imprecise. The highest priority is to deepen the causal explanation and express the proposed measures in more natural, exact language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are fully addressed through two relevant problems and corresponding solutions that are clearly explained and supported.
Develop the feasibility and limitations of the individual solutions so the response evaluates them with greater depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
The problem-solution structure is highly logical, paragraphing is effective, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly through the argument.
Tighten a few explanatory sequences so each solution moves more directly from the identified cause to its likely effect.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a wide vocabulary and several precise topic-specific expressions, though some collocations and figurative phrases are slightly unnatural.
Replace strained phrases such as problems from their place of living and resolve their hardship with more idiomatic, exact alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of simple and complex structures is used flexibly and accurately, with errors being rare and non-impeding.
Refine occasional compressed constructions and pronoun agreement so every complex sentence reads with complete naturalness.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problem. What are the problems that young people living in cities are facing? What are the solutions to these problems?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.