In recent years some countries have experienced very rapid economic development. This has resulted in much higher standards of living in urban areas but not in the countryside. This situation may bring some problems for the country as a whole. What are these problems? How might they be reduced?
Sample Response
The countries which have advanced technology, as well as other resources, have gained a quick boost in their economy. Consequently, it has enhanced the living standard of the masses in cities, but the rural areas have been deprived of it. This one-sided benefit can cause some problems like mass migration to megalopolis areas in some nations as well as this problem can be solved by creating amenities like that of urban areas in villages.
First off, mass migration to cities will occur. To elaborate, with the advent of financial stability in many nations, the living standard of city dwellers will increase. It will stimulate the remote areas individuals to settle in cities. Resultantly, the cities will become crowded due to the movement of individuals. Therefore, the problem of creating accommodation for the masses will be felt, and the government will have no option but to cut down trees. This impractical step will create environmental hazards that will make the survival of people impossible. For instance, earlier, before developing any urban areas, there were more green spaces; but, as soon as the areas got developed, they allured other people to enjoy city life. Now, the great hustle and bustle can be seen in metropolitan areas.
On the other hand, economic growth has raised the lifestyle of urban areas and created problems for cities in some nations; however, this development has many solutions to this problem. Firstly, small scale industries can be set up in remote areas so that folk can earn and raise their living standard. Only then a halt in the movement of people to cities can be felt. To exemplify it, local people will be able to get employment there and creating residential places will not be a problem. When people are not able to earn, they can run their businesses and countryside areas will soon develop and they will be enjoying modern facilities. Secondly, grants must be given to undeveloped areas so that these areas can have leisure parks, gyms as well as departmental stores. Then, the multitude will not move to cities, and they will be leading a comfortable life.
To conclude, thus, it is apparent that an instant boost in an economy has made the living standard of people higher; but it has not made any improvement in rural areas and created a lot of troubles such as the movement of villagers to metropolitan areas for a good lifestyle and environmental hazards. This problem has given many solutions, namely the establishment of mini industries grants for providing recreational facilities and to name but a few.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise reference Original: The countries which Suggested revision: Countries that Why it matters: The revision removes an unnecessary article and uses a restrictive relative pronoun.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: gained a quick boost in their economy Suggested revision: experienced rapid economic growth Why it matters: The replacement is the standard formal expression for fast economic development.
- 3. Clarify the condition Original: with the advent of financial stability Suggested revision: as economies become more stable Why it matters: This wording states the economic condition more directly and naturally.
- 4. Fix noun phrase Original: the remote areas individuals Suggested revision: people from remote areas Why it matters: The original noun sequence is ungrammatical and needs a prepositional phrase.
- 5. Use standard connector Original: Resultantly Suggested revision: Consequently Why it matters: Consequently is the conventional formal connector for this result.
- 6. Avoid vague repetition Original: due to the movement of individuals Suggested revision: because of this migration Why it matters: This migration refers precisely to the movement already described.
- 7. Avoid extreme wording Original: make the survival of people impossible Suggested revision: threaten people's well-being Why it matters: The revision conveys serious harm without the illogical claim that survival becomes impossible.
- 8. Fix the modifier Original: earlier, before developing any urban areas Suggested revision: before these urban areas were developed Why it matters: The passive construction makes the urban areas, rather than an unstated actor, the object of development.
- 9. Use formal passive Original: got Suggested revision: were Why it matters: The passive form with were is more appropriate in formal writing.
- 10. Choose the right verb Original: allured other people Suggested revision: attracted more people Why it matters: Attracted accurately describes drawing people to city life, whereas allured is unsuitable here.
- 11. Fix the collocation Original: raised the lifestyle of urban areas Suggested revision: raised living standards in urban areas Why it matters: Living standards can rise, while an area itself does not possess a lifestyle.
- 12. Fix the sentence logic Original: this development has many solutions to this problem Suggested revision: there are several solutions to this problem Why it matters: A development cannot possess solutions, so an existential construction is needed.
Suggested Rewrites
- The countries which Countries that
- gained a quick boost in their economy experienced rapid economic growth
- with the advent of financial stability as economies become more stable
- the remote areas individuals people from remote areas
- Resultantly Consequently
- due to the movement of individuals because of this migration
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers both problems and solutions and builds a recognisable cause-and-effect argument, with the proposed rural employment and amenity measures providing its strongest substantive development. However, several claims become exaggerated or unclear, and awkward vocabulary and sentence construction repeatedly weaken precision. Focus first on expressing each causal step in direct, natural language and supporting it with realistic explanation before adding further ideas.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both questions with relevant problems and solutions, though some causal claims are overstated or insufficiently convincing.
Explain each consequence realistically and show more precisely how each proposed measure would reduce the urban-rural gap.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure provides broad progression, but mechanical linking and occasional logical jumps reduce cohesion.
Use transitions that accurately express the relationship between ideas and remove redundant signposting such as paired conclusion markers.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is adequate, but frequent forced or inappropriate choices make the argument less natural and precise.
Prefer straightforward terms such as residents, rural people, and overcrowding over unsuitable words such as masses, folk, and multitude.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex forms, but recurring problems with articles, agreement, and clause construction limit control.
Edit complex sentences into clearly linked clauses and check noun phrases and subject-verb agreement systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In recent years some countries have experienced very rapid economic development. This has resulted in much higher standards of living in urban areas but not in the countryside. This situation may bring some problems for the country as a whole. What are these problems? How might they be reduced?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.