Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: People who have original ideas are of much greater value to society than those who are simply able to copy the ideas of others well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
I certainly agree that people who come up with new ideas; in other words those who 'invent' or 'discover' things are terribly important to society as a whole. However, I also think there is a role in society for good imitators. No one would deny that key individuals must be thanked for providing us with certain facilities that we use every day. Where, would we be, for example, without basic items such as the washing machine, the television and, more recently, the computer? These items are now used so regularly that we tend to take them for granted. In fact, the society we live in today has become increasingly consumer-oriented, and while it may be possible to constantly update and improve consumer goods, not everyone where I live can afford the prices of these innovations. Furthermore not everyone lives in an area that has accessibility to the latest models on the market. For this reason, there is a value to be placed on being able to provide good copies of expensive items. Having said that, certain innovations have a more serious impact on our lives than consumer goods and cannot easily be replicated. Vital medicines like penicillin and vaccines against dangerous diseases also exist because people made continual efforts to develop them. Scientific ideas such as these enable us to live longer and escape illness.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix parenthetical punctuation Original: ideas; in other words Suggested revision: ideas—in other words, Why it matters: The explanatory phrase should be introduced and separated with appropriate punctuation.
- 2. Use formal emphasis Original: terribly Suggested revision: extremely Why it matters: ‘Extremely’ gives the intended emphasis in a more formal register.
- 3. Choose a precise verb Original: must be thanked Suggested revision: should be credited Why it matters: ‘Credited’ more precisely expresses recognition for creating or providing something.
- 4. Use an accurate noun Original: facilities Suggested revision: products Why it matters: The examples that follow are products rather than facilities.
- 5. Remove incorrect comma Original: Where, Suggested revision: Where Why it matters: A comma should not separate the interrogative word from the auxiliary verb.
- 6. Clarify the modifier Original: not everyone where I live Suggested revision: not everyone in my area Why it matters: The revised prepositional phrase clearly identifies the group being discussed.
- 7. Correct the collocation Original: afford the prices of these innovations Suggested revision: afford these innovations Why it matters: People afford products or costs; ‘afford the prices of’ is unnecessarily awkward here.
- 8. Punctuate the connector Original: Furthermore Suggested revision: Furthermore, Why it matters: A sentence-opening conjunctive adverb should be followed by a comma.
- 9. Use standard phrasing Original: accessibility Suggested revision: access Why it matters: ‘Have access to’ is the standard expression for availability.
- 10. Reduce wordiness Original: there is a value to be placed on being able to provide Suggested revision: there is value in providing Why it matters: This shorter construction states the same point more directly.
- 11. Use natural collocation Original: escape Suggested revision: avoid Why it matters: ‘Avoid illness’ is the more natural collocation in this context.
- 12. Use formal wording Original: come up with Suggested revision: develop Why it matters: ‘Develop’ is more concise and formal in this academic context.
Suggested Rewrites
- ideas; in other words ideas—in other words,
- terribly extremely
- must be thanked should be credited
- facilities products
- Where, Where
- not everyone where I live not everyone in my area
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response uses varied language and moves logically from the value of invention to the practical role of imitation, with relevant examples from consumer goods and medicine. However, it is under length, presented as one paragraph, and ends without a conclusion that clearly defines the extent of agreement. The highest-priority improvement is to develop the comparison further and finish with an explicit, well-supported judgment on the statement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both original ideas and imitation with relevant examples, but its qualified position is not fully developed or concluded.
Reach the required length by explaining the relative social value of both groups and ending with a direct extent-of-agreement judgment.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a generally logical sequence and linking is clear, but the single-paragraph structure weakens the organisation of the argument.
Separate the discussion into focused paragraphs for innovation, imitation, and the final judgment.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and appropriately academic, with occasional awkward choices such as “has accessibility” and “afford the prices.”
Use more natural collocations, such as “has access” and “can afford these innovations,” while retaining the existing range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures effectively, though several punctuation errors and awkward constructions reduce accuracy.
Correct intrusive punctuation and use commas consistently after introductory linking phrases.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: People who have original ideas are of much greater value to society than those who are simply able to copy the ideas of others well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.