Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The consciousness of eating healthy and staying fit is rapidly increasing between the youth, adults, and even the elderly. The source of consuming a high fiber diet inclusive of rich amounts of vitamins and proteins has gained popularity in the recent past. Some People believe that the only way to eat a healthy diet is to consume a diet that doesn’t include meat, and everyone should completely adopt a vegetarian diet to stay healthy. I totally disagree with the above-given statement.
Agriculture in India observed a sudden rise with the advent of the Green Revolution after independence. The Revolution introduced farmers with new technology like the use of high yield variety seeds, Chemical Fertilizers, and Manures, Pesticides, and insecticides. The crops grown today are less organic compared to the past. Previously farmers were only dependent on natural resources for the production of crops, but due to the commercialization of agriculture, a lot of chemicals are added to the seeds, which makes them harmful and unfit to consume.
Consumption of pulse was considered the best source of acquiring proteins essential for the human body. The advent of Chemical Fertilizers not only made them harmful to use but also has caused a sudden increase in diseases like Diabetes, Gall Bladder Stone, and deadly cancer. People are becoming more aware and have adopted organic farming in their confined gardens to be less dependent on market products.
The diet today which we consume is less likely to be pure and contains more man-injected proteins. The Doctors themselves suggest eating and adopt eggs and boiled chicken in the diet as a source of rich protein diet. People are more inclined towards exercise to stay fit for this, and they are advised to reduce their consumption of carbohydrates and substitute their meals with protein-rich resources. However, one cannot completely become a vegetarian or a non-vegetarian. It is always a mix of both worlds to fill the stomach.
To conclude, meat cannot be completely discouraged in the diets, as it is the only pure source having fewer chemicals in it.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: The consciousness of eating healthy Suggested revision: Awareness of healthy eating Why it matters: This phrase expresses the intended idea in natural English.
- 2. Use among for groups Original: between the youth, adults, and even the elderly Suggested revision: among young people, adults, and even older people Why it matters: Use 'among' when referring to more than two groups.
- 3. Choose the right noun Original: source Suggested revision: practice Why it matters: 'Source' does not describe the act or habit of consuming a diet.
- 4. Use natural quantity phrase Original: inclusive of rich amounts Suggested revision: containing high amounts Why it matters: This replacement gives a natural collocation for describing nutrient content.
- 5. Use concise wording Original: in the recent past Suggested revision: recently Why it matters: The adverb conveys the same time reference more directly.
- 6. Fix unnecessary capital Original: People Suggested revision: people Why it matters: A common noun within a sentence should not begin with a capital letter.
- 7. Fix verb choice Original: Agriculture in India observed a sudden rise Suggested revision: Agriculture in India expanded rapidly Why it matters: Agriculture cannot itself 'observe' an increase, so an active verb is needed.
- 8. Correct preposition Original: introduced farmers with new technology Suggested revision: introduced farmers to new technologies Why it matters: The correct pattern is 'introduce someone to something'.
- 9. Fix capitals and list Original: Chemical Fertilizers, and Manures, Pesticides, and insecticides Suggested revision: chemical fertilisers, manures, pesticides and insecticides Why it matters: These common nouns need lowercase letters and consistent list punctuation.
- 10. Use comparative than Original: less organic compared to the past Suggested revision: less organic than in the past Why it matters: A direct comparison with 'less' should use 'than'.
- 11. Match subject and verb Original: makes Suggested revision: make Why it matters: The plural antecedent 'chemicals' requires the plural verb 'make'.
- 12. Use plural food noun Original: pulse Suggested revision: pulses Why it matters: The plural 'pulses' is required when referring to this food group generally.
Suggested Rewrites
- The consciousness of eating healthy Awareness of healthy eating
- between the youth, adults, and even the elderly among young people, adults, and even older people
- source practice
- inclusive of rich amounts containing high amounts
- in the recent past recently
- People people
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear position and uses a recognizable essay structure, so its main line of argument is easy to identify. However, most support focuses narrowly on chemicals in crops and makes unsupported health claims, leaving the case against compulsory vegetarianism only partly developed. The priority is to build two directly relevant reasons with credible explanations or examples showing why meat can form part of a healthy diet.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is maintained, but the supporting ideas are narrow, partly tangential, and often asserted without convincing explanation.
Develop two distinct, directly relevant reasons against universal vegetarianism and support each with a realistic example or causal explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and basic progression are clear, although links between agricultural history, food purity, and the conclusion are sometimes loose.
Give each body paragraph one explicit claim and ensure every following sentence develops that claim before moving to the next idea.
Lexical Resource
The response shows an adequate range of topic vocabulary, but inaccurate collocations and word choices frequently reduce precision.
Use more natural combinations such as 'a high-fibre diet,' 'adopt a diet,' and 'a source of protein,' while avoiding exaggerated scientific wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the main meaning, but recurring article, agreement, capitalization, and verb-form errors weaken control.
Proofread systematically for articles, subject-verb agreement, and parallel verb forms, especially in longer sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.