Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
A healthy diet plays a very important role in maintaining people’s health. Some people argue that we should eat no fish and meat to have our own health better and it is also value to the world. In my opinion, I agree that this will bring many advantages but also causes several drawbacks.
First of all, it is undeniable that by dint of eating like a vegetarian, people will have a nice body and more chance to avoid several chronic diseases. To specify, vegetables and fruits, which contain a rich source of vitamins and minerals, will enable people to keep fit and healthy body. Moreover, with a low amount of fats, cholesterol, or saturated fats, people will not have to worry about gaining weight or obesity as well as other related health issues like high blood pressure or heart diseases. For example, since I ate more vegetables, my body became stronger and my weight stayed unchanged over time.
On the contrary, it is obvious that by no means could this kind of diet have no negative effect on our health and life styles… As a consequence of eating no meat and fish, people will not gain sufficient proteins and fats so that they will not have enough energy for their daily activities. For instance, my mother try to eat as a vegetarian in several days, but she always feel tired and can not perform anything well.
On the other hand, thanks to the vegetarian meals we can contribute to save the world. In more details, the fact is that every year, the food processing industry consumes a large amount of clean water to produce meat or beef and release tons of waste and smoke to the environment. Additionally, due to the over fishing for food, many species of fish in sea, rivers, lakes are endangered and facing with the extinction. Therefore, if we remove meat and fish from our meal, we can prevent this.
In conclusion, it is not always good if we only eat vegetables but we should reduce the amount of meat and fish as well as eat more vegetables for healthier living.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use paired conjunctions Original: eat no fish and meat Suggested revision: eat neither fish nor meat Why it matters: Use the paired structure ‘neither ... nor’ to exclude both foods clearly.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: to have our own health better Suggested revision: to improve our health Why it matters: The verb ‘improve’ expresses the intended change in health naturally and concisely.
- 3. Use adjective form Original: value Suggested revision: valuable Why it matters: The complement after ‘is’ requires the adjective ‘valuable’ rather than the noun ‘value’.
- 4. Keep verbs parallel Original: causes Suggested revision: cause Why it matters: Both verbs follow ‘will’, so they must remain in the base form.
- 5. Choose precise expression Original: by dint of eating like a vegetarian Suggested revision: by following a vegetarian diet Why it matters: This wording names the dietary practice directly and avoids an awkward idiom.
- 6. Use academic wording Original: have a nice body Suggested revision: maintain a healthy body Why it matters: ‘Healthy’ states the intended benefit more precisely than the informal adjective ‘nice’.
- 7. Correct noun pattern Original: more chance to avoid Suggested revision: a greater chance of avoiding Why it matters: The countable noun needs an article, and ‘chance of’ is followed by a gerund.
- 8. Fix collocation Original: contain a rich source of vitamins and minerals Suggested revision: are rich sources of vitamins and minerals Why it matters: Foods are described as being rich sources rather than containing a source.
- 9. Complete noun phrase Original: keep fit and healthy body Suggested revision: maintain a fit and healthy body Why it matters: The noun phrase requires a determiner and a verb that can take ‘body’ as its object.
- 10. Fix quantity expression Original: a low amount of fats Suggested revision: low amounts of fat Why it matters: Use ‘amounts’ with the listed quantities and uncountable ‘fat’ for the nutrient.
- 11. Use uncountable form Original: diseases Suggested revision: disease Why it matters: ‘Heart disease’ is normally used as an uncountable general health category here.
- 12. Use nutrient forms Original: sufficient proteins and fats Suggested revision: sufficient protein and fat Why it matters: The nutrient categories are normally uncountable in this general statement.
Suggested Rewrites
- eat no fish and meat eat neither fish nor meat
- to have our own health better to improve our health
- value valuable
- causes cause
- by dint of eating like a vegetarian by following a vegetarian diet
- have a nice body maintain a healthy body
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear, generally consistent position and covers health benefits, possible nutritional drawbacks, and environmental effects in a logical sequence. Its main limitation is that several claims and personal examples remain general or weakly substantiated, while frequent awkward phrasing and grammatical slips reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each main claim with a specific, credible explanation while proofreading sentence structure and word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the view and gives a clear qualified opinion, though support for several health and environmental claims remains fairly general.
Develop each central claim through a specific cause-and-effect explanation or a more credible example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress through clear topic-based paragraphs, but some linking expressions are mechanical or logically imprecise.
Use transitions that state the exact relationship between ideas and replace vague references such as 'this' with explicit nouns.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient topic vocabulary and some less common language, but recurring collocation and word-choice errors weaken precision.
Prioritise natural combinations such as 'follow a vegetarian diet,' 'provide health benefits,' and 'face extinction.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but frequent errors with agreement, articles, plurals, and clause construction reduce control.
Proofread every sentence for subject-verb agreement and article use, then simplify structures that produce unclear double negatives.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.