Everyone should become Vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many people in the world currently choose not to eat meat in their daily meals. While I accept that this tendency can help people to live healthily, I believe not everyone should become vegetarian.
In my opinion, there are several benefits of being vegetarian. Firstly, since there are many types of vegetables that can provide people with enough nutrition, it has become less necessary for people to eat meat. For example, potatoes and beans are two popular dishes for families in England because of the large amount of calories they can provide. Secondly, vegetables and fruits contain vitamins that are highly beneficial for people. For instance, it has been proven that eating an apple every day can help individuals improve their health and avoid illness. Finally, if more people refuse to eat meat, fewer animals will be slaughtered.
However, I believe this tendency is not suitable for everyone. First, it is not advisable for children to become vegetarian. As they are in the process of growing up, they need to eat a wide range of food, including meat which contains essential nutrients, to improve their physical health. If children only eat vegetables, they might become less healthy than they should be. Furthermore, athletes are the people who should not be vegetarian. Since their job involves intense training on a regular basis, they need to consume meat such as beef or pork which provides them with enough calories.
In conclusion, while I agree that becoming vegetarian can help people have a healthy diet, I do not think it is an option that everybody should take.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove wordiness Original: people in the world currently Suggested revision: people currently Why it matters: The shorter phrase conveys the same meaning more directly.
- 2. Use precise reference Original: this tendency can help people Suggested revision: this dietary choice can help people Why it matters: The replacement identifies the choice being discussed more precisely.
- 3. Use natural phrasing Original: benefits of being vegetarian Suggested revision: benefits of following a vegetarian diet Why it matters: This collocation is more natural and specific in formal writing.
- 4. Choose accurate noun Original: dishes Suggested revision: foods Why it matters: Potatoes and beans are foods rather than prepared dishes in this context.
- 5. Fix count noun Original: amount Suggested revision: number Why it matters: Use number with the countable noun calories.
- 6. Increase precision Original: highly beneficial for people Suggested revision: highly beneficial to people's health Why it matters: The revision states more precisely what receives the benefit.
- 7. Use neutral wording Original: more people refuse to eat meat Suggested revision: more people choose not to eat meat Why it matters: Choose not to is more neutral and appropriate for a dietary decision.
- 8. Clarify reference Original: this tendency is not suitable for everyone Suggested revision: a vegetarian diet is not suitable for everyone Why it matters: Naming the diet removes the vague reference to tendency.
- 9. Use plural noun Original: food Suggested revision: foods Why it matters: Foods is the natural plural when referring to multiple kinds.
- 10. Remove wordiness Original: athletes are the people who should not be vegetarian Suggested revision: athletes should not be vegetarian Why it matters: The direct construction expresses the same claim more concisely.
- 11. Improve idea transition Suggested revision: Group the two health-related benefits before signalling the shift to the animal-welfare point. Why it matters: A clearer transition would make the final reason feel connected to the paragraph's progression.
Suggested Rewrites
- people in the world currently people currently
- this tendency can help people this dietary choice can help people
- benefits of being vegetarian benefits of following a vegetarian diet
- dishes foods
- amount number
- highly beneficial for people highly beneficial to people's health
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear, nuanced position and organizes relevant supporting points into an easy-to-follow argument. Its main limitation is that several claims about nutrition are broad or weakly substantiated, so the argument would be more convincing if it used more precise evidence and explained why plant-based alternatives may still be insufficient for the specific groups identified.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the proposition fully, sustains a clear qualified disagreement, and supports both sides with relevant reasons.
Develop the nutritional claims with more precise reasoning or credible examples instead of relying on broad assertions about particular foods.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and clear sequencing create logical progression, although some linking language is formulaic.
Use a less mechanical range of transitions so relationships between ideas emerge more naturally.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate, with enough flexibility to discuss diet, nutrition, health, and social consequences.
Improve collocational precision in phrases such as popular dishes, live healthily, and large amount of calories.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex and simple structures is used with generally strong control and few non-impeding errors.
Refine relative clauses, article use, and sentence phrasing to make the more complex statements consistently natural.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Everyone should become Vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.