Some people believe that authorities need to plan for more vertical cities with really tall buildings since our land for the expansion of cities is limited. What are the advantages and disadvantages, in your opinion, of vertical cities that have really tall buildings and everything within these buildings?
Sample Response
The concept of creating vertical cities with towering skyscrapers to accommodate urban expansion has been proposed, and in some cases, materialised in many cities around the world. While there are benefits to this approach, it also presents several disadvantages, and this essay will explore both.
One of the key advantages of vertical cities is their potential to maximize land usage efficiently. With limited available land for urban growth, constructing tall buildings allows for increased population density without further encroaching on natural spaces. For instance, cities like Hong Kong and New York have embraced vertical living to accommodate their growing populations while preserving green spaces and minimizing urban sprawl.
Another benefit lies in the potential reduction of commuting times. Vertical cities can centralize various services and amenities within close proximity, minimizing the need for extensive travel within the city. Residents can easily access workplaces, shopping centres, and recreational facilities without enduring long commutes. This efficiency in commuting can contribute to improved work-life balance and reduced environmental pollution.
However, the drawbacks of living in vertical cities should not be overlooked. Tall buildings can create a sense of isolation and disconnect among residents due to limited outdoor spaces and a lack of community areas. The absence of shared public spaces like parks and open squares may hinder social interactions and impede the development of a cohesive urban community. For instance, studies have shown that high-rise living can lead to feelings of loneliness and social detachment among residents.
Furthermore, the overreliance on vertical expansion could lead to environmental concerns. Tall buildings require extensive energy consumption for heating, cooling, and vertical transportation systems. The sheer height of these structures can exacerbate the urban heat island effect and increase energy consumption, potentially offsetting the environmental benefits of reducing horizontal urban sprawl.
In conclusion, vertical cities with towering buildings revolve around a range of advantages and disadvantages. While efficient land use and reduced commuting times are potential benefits, concerns related to community cohesion, social interaction, and environmental sustainability warrant careful consideration when planning for such urban developments.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise implementation wording Original: has been proposed, and in some cases, materialised in many cities Suggested revision: has been proposed and, in some cases, implemented in cities Why it matters: A planning concept is implemented rather than materialised, and “many” is unnecessary here.
- 2. Remove redundant wording Original: potential to maximize land usage efficiently Suggested revision: potential to use land efficiently Why it matters: The revision expresses efficient land use directly without combining “maximize” and “efficiently.”
- 3. Avoid redundant modifiers Original: limited available land Suggested revision: limited land Why it matters: “Limited” already conveys that little land is available.
- 4. Use formal example phrase Original: For instance, cities like Suggested revision: For example, cities such as Why it matters: “Such as” introduces examples more precisely in formal writing.
- 5. Use direct infinitive form Original: potential reduction of commuting times Suggested revision: potential to reduce commuting times Why it matters: The infinitive structure states the possible benefit more directly.
- 6. Remove redundant preposition Original: within close proximity Suggested revision: in close proximity Why it matters: The standard expression is “in close proximity.”
- 7. Clarify lengthy journeys Original: extensive travel within the city Suggested revision: lengthy journeys across the city Why it matters: The revision identifies the travel burden more concretely.
- 8. Name the benefit precisely Original: This efficiency in commuting Suggested revision: This reduction in commuting Why it matters: The paragraph specifically describes less travel rather than a general efficiency.
- 9. Use parallel noun forms Original: a sense of isolation and disconnect Suggested revision: a sense of isolation and disconnection Why it matters: “Disconnection” is the noun form that parallels “isolation” naturally.
- 10. Use precise shared-space term Original: community areas Suggested revision: communal spaces Why it matters: “Communal spaces” refers more precisely to areas intended for residents to gather.
- 11. Correct energy collocation Original: require extensive energy consumption Suggested revision: consume substantial amounts of energy Why it matters: Buildings consume energy rather than require energy consumption.
- 12. Use accurate summary verb Original: revolve around a range of advantages and disadvantages Suggested revision: present a range of advantages and disadvantages Why it matters: Cities present advantages and disadvantages; they do not revolve around them.
Suggested Rewrites
- has been proposed, and in some cases, materialised in many cities has been proposed and, in some cases, implemented in cities
- potential to maximize land usage efficiently potential to use land efficiently
- limited available land limited land
- For instance, cities like For example, cities such as
- potential reduction of commuting times potential to reduce commuting times
- within close proximity in close proximity
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its balanced, well-organised examination of four distinct effects of vertical cities, with clear explanations and relevant examples. Its main limitation is slight imprecision in a few expressions and some reliance on broad claims about high-rise living and environmental impact. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify those claims with more specific evidence or conditions, which would make an already strong discussion more nuanced and authoritative.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response fully addresses both advantages and disadvantages with well-developed, relevant ideas and clear supporting examples.
Add brief qualification about when social isolation or environmental costs are most likely to arise to strengthen the evaluation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, with effective transitions and clear relationships between claims and support.
Create an even stronger comparison by linking each drawback explicitly to the corresponding benefit it may offset.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible, precise, and suitably academic, with a strong range of urban-planning and environmental terms.
Refine the occasional unnatural expression, such as saying that vertical cities “present” rather than “revolve around” advantages and disadvantages.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex structures is used accurately, with only rare minor lapses that do not affect clarity.
Maintain the same control while slightly varying sentence openings in the body paragraphs for greater stylistic flexibility.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that authorities need to plan for more vertical cities with really tall buildings since our land for the expansion of cities is limited. What are the advantages and disadvantages, in your opinion, of vertical cities that have really tall buildings and everything within these buildings?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.