Some people think that both travellers and business people must have the same attitude to local people and the traditions of countries they visit. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.
Sample Response
There has been a significant increase in travelling over the last few years. People tend to travel for the sake of entertainment, exploration and business activities. Some people argue that travellers should obey and respect about religious beliefs and tradition of the countries they visited. Others claim that visitors are not bound to practice the local people beliefs and should have the independence to live according to their own set of rules. I strongly believe that foreigners must act accordingly to the traits and norms of visiting country. It is commonly seen that some of the travellers do not care about others sentiments and they like to perform their own rituals openly in public places. They claim that it is permissible in free and open society. However, this could have detrimental effects as some people could act violently and can create riots in a society. On the other side, it is our moral and ethical duty to respect others religions. Being as a visitor one has to follow the customs, traditions and traits of the destination country. This will help them in knowing about cultures and others traits of the society. This will also leave a positive message to the local people. To conclude, I would like to say that tourists represent their country and their acts and behaviour can help in developing their good image to outside world. Therefore, travellers and business people should mould themselves according to place and situation; it is also a natural phenomenon that ‘gives respect take respect’.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use travel as noun Original: increase in travelling Suggested revision: increase in travel Why it matters: “Travel” is the natural uncountable noun for the general activity.
- 2. Make purpose concise Original: for the sake of entertainment Suggested revision: for entertainment Why it matters: The shorter phrase expresses the same purpose more directly.
- 3. Repair verbs and number Original: obey and respect about religious beliefs and tradition Suggested revision: observe and respect the religious beliefs and traditions Why it matters: “Respect” takes a direct object, and the general count noun “traditions” should be plural.
- 4. Use consistent present tense Original: countries they visited Suggested revision: countries they visit Why it matters: The essay discusses travellers' general present behaviour, so the present tense is required.
- 5. Fix possessive phrase Original: practice the local people beliefs Suggested revision: follow local people's beliefs Why it matters: The possessive form identifies whose beliefs are meant, and “follow” is the natural verb.
- 6. Use freedom collocation Original: have the independence to live Suggested revision: have the freedom to live Why it matters: “Freedom to live” is the natural expression for personal choice.
- 7. Correct according phrase Original: act accordingly to Suggested revision: act according to Why it matters: The fixed expression is “act according to”; “accordingly” does not take “to.”
- 8. Clarify destination reference Original: traits and norms of visiting country Suggested revision: customs and norms of the country they are visiting Why it matters: The revision supplies the article and makes the visiting relationship explicit.
- 9. Remove unnecessary article phrase Original: some of the travellers Suggested revision: some travellers Why it matters: No defined group has been introduced, so “some travellers” is sufficient.
- 10. Add possessive apostrophe Original: others sentiments Suggested revision: others' sentiments Why it matters: The plural possessive needs an apostrophe after “others.”
- 11. Add missing article Original: in free and open society Suggested revision: in a free and open society Why it matters: The singular countable noun “society” requires an article.
- 12. Keep modal parallelism Original: could act violently and can create Suggested revision: could act violently and create Why it matters: The modal “could” should govern both coordinated verbs.
Suggested Rewrites
- increase in travelling increase in travel
- for the sake of entertainment for entertainment
- obey and respect about religious beliefs and tradition observe and respect the religious beliefs and traditions
- countries they visited countries they visit
- practice the local people beliefs follow local people's beliefs
- have the independence to live have the freedom to live
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response is strongest in its clear position that all visitors should respect local customs and in its identification of moral responsibility and national reputation as supporting reasons. Its main limitation is that the single-paragraph presentation weakens organisation, while the claim that public rituals may cause riots is overgeneralised and underexplained; frequent language errors also reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to build two focused paragraphs with balanced, realistic examples of respectful behaviour by tourists and business visitors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response gives a clear opinion and relevant reasons, but development is limited and one central consequence is asserted in an exaggerated, unsupported way.
Explain how respectful behaviour benefits visitors and hosts using specific, realistic examples that cover both tourists and business people.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has a broad progression from the debate to reasons and a conclusion, but the absence of paragraphing and abrupt transitions weaken coherence.
Separate the introduction, two main reasons, and conclusion into clear paragraphs with one controlling idea in each.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonable range of vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations, possessives, and word choices make expression awkward.
Use natural phrases such as “respect religious beliefs,” “the host country’s customs,” and “build a positive image abroad.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but recurring errors in articles, prepositions, agreement, possessives, and clause construction reduce accuracy.
Practise complete sentence patterns and check articles and possessive forms before adding longer dependent clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that both travellers and business people must have the same attitude to local people and the traditions of countries they visit. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.