Which of the following point of views do you agree with? Visitors who visit other countries should follow the local customs and behaviours or the host country should welcome the cultural diversity and allow visitors’ own custom and behaviours.
Sample Response
Nowadays, a growing number of people prefer to take trips toconduct tour trips into other countries. The tourism industry has become a matter of concern and significant investment has been madeinjected to develop impressive destinations for tourists. But there are much debatea lot of debates about conflicts that ariseconflicts which come into existence when a number of people intend to enter other societiesenter into other societies. Two groups of people hold different opinionsopine differently. One group believes that tourists should follow customs, rules and behaviours of host countries. On the other handside, the second group of people believesbelieve that tourists should bring modern lifestyles and traditionsbring modern lifestyle and tradition in order to improve their lifestyle. This issue will be analysed in detail and a suggestion will be providedsuggestion will be provided for this complexsophisticated matter in the following section. Interestingly, some people believe tourists should follow customs and rules of host countries. The reason forbehind this is that they are worried about changes in their lifestyle and customs because they do not want to have their customs disrupted by outsidersinterrupt their customs by outsiders. If tourists bring their behaviour and rules then local people are likely to copy their lifestyle and ways of dressingdress wearing habits. For instance, Saudi Arabia is one of the stricteststrict countries that do not permit Western clothingdon’t show western dresses like short ladies dresses and alcohol is also strictly prohibited. Its main motive is to prevent local people from adopting foreigners’ ways of lifeto refrain local people to adopt foreigners’ way of living style. However, on the other hand, many people believe that tourists should be allowed to bringtourists should allow bringing their behaviours, rules and customs with them when they are tourists in other countries and the host country should welcome their lifestyle and tradition. For instance, Emirates is one of the Muslim countries but it welcomes all customs and traditions. For example, Europeans are allowed to drink alcohol and ladies are allowed to wear short dresses. Moreover, tourists also wish to look like localslocal in any country and they desire to wear local dresses like in Muslim countries ladies wear specific dresses. Tourists also find chances to introduce their culturalculture diversity and customs. The tourism industry should make it possibleTourist industry should make potential to provide full freedom and they feel like own homeland. Furthermore, tourists are an important source for host countries to increase national income substantially. In conclusion, tourists can have excellent tourism experience by respecting others religion, culture and tradition. Therefore, host countries are also responsible for providing extra freedom without strict rules so that they can visit again the same destination. Competitions are taking placeThere are competitions are going on in different countries in order to provide the best visiting place and win competition by increasing numbers of guests.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response considers both viewpoints and uses relevant country examples, with a conclusion that broadly supports mutual respect and some freedom for visitors. However, the position is only partially clarified, several ideas are repetitive or weakly explained, and frequent awkward phrasing reduces precision. The highest-priority improvement is to state a definite nuanced position early, then build two focused paragraphs that directly justify it with clearly expressed reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed with relevant reasons and examples, but the writer's own position emerges late and some claims are insufficiently explained.
State a precise position in the introduction and make each body paragraph directly demonstrate why that position is preferable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall sequence from one view to the other and then a conclusion is discernible, but repetition, mechanical linking, and absent paragraph breaks weaken cohesion.
Use separate paragraphs for the two perspectives and remove repeated signposting so each idea advances the argument once.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary to discuss tourism and culture, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices make expression awkward.
Replace unnatural phrases with precise combinations such as travel abroad, respect local customs, cultural diversity, and feel at home.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence forms, but errors in articles, agreement, verb patterns, and sentence construction occur frequently.
Focus on controlling clause structure and verb patterns, especially allow someone to do something and refrain from doing something.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Which of the following point of views do you agree with? Visitors who visit other countries should follow the local customs and behaviours or the host country should welcome the cultural diversity and allow visitors’ own custom and behaviours.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.