In some cases people who break the law should be warned instead of receiving punishment. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Whether warnings should replace legal punishments in certain cases has become a topic of debate. From my viewpoint, I firmly advocate the idea that minor offenses and first-time offenders can be diverted from prosecution.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that punishments are imperative in some instances. First, punishments are efficacious in upholding the legal system. By instilling fear of retribution in potential criminals, punishments help dissuade wrongdoings, thus ensuring security for the society. Secondly, punishments are just desserts for re-offenders. This is because they were well-aware of the consequences of their crimes, yet they decided to fall back into old habits. For these recidivists, education alone would be insufficient while stronger punitive measures should be imposed.
On the other hand, diverting first-time and minor offenders from prosecution has some positives in preventing crimes. Firstly, diversion will save legal enforcers time and effort. Sometimes, trivial cases such as shoplifting will get low-level penalties even if they are brought to court. Therefore, by giving out notices for minor offences, the police can allot more time for more serious crimes. Furthermore, rehabilitative measures can have positive impacts on reducing crime rates. Sometimes, people who break laws are unintentional, in these cases, proper education is appropriate. For instance, a research conducted in London in 2015 has proven that those cautioned were 50 percent less likely to reoffend as compared to those who were fined by a court. Moreover, warnings give young adults a greater chance to grow out of crime, since having a clean record will open them up to many job opportunities instead of resorting to crime to make a living.
All in all, though punishments are needed to sustain the legal system, I believe that giving warnings is more effective in discouraging lawbreakers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: From my viewpoint Suggested revision: In my view Why it matters: This is the more natural academic expression for introducing a personal position.
- 2. Correct the collocation Original: dissuade wrongdoings Suggested revision: deter wrongdoing Why it matters: The verb 'deter' collocates with the uncountable noun 'wrongdoing' in this context.
- 3. Remove the article Original: security for the society Suggested revision: security in society Why it matters: Society is used without an article when referring to society in general.
- 4. Use precise wording Original: fall back into old habits Suggested revision: reoffend Why it matters: The precise legal-context verb states the intended meaning more directly.
- 5. Fix the collocation Original: has some positives in preventing crimes Suggested revision: has some benefits for crime prevention Why it matters: The replacement uses a natural noun phrase for the claimed advantage.
- 6. Use the standard term Original: legal enforcers Suggested revision: law-enforcement authorities Why it matters: This is the conventional term for the officials responsible for enforcing laws.
- 7. Match the key concept Original: giving out notices Suggested revision: issuing warnings Why it matters: The replacement clearly links this action to the essay's discussion of warnings.
- 8. Use a concise collocation Original: have positive impacts on reducing crime rates Suggested revision: help reduce crime rates Why it matters: The revision expresses the effect directly and avoids an awkward impact-on-reducing construction.
- 9. Use an uncountable noun Original: a research conducted Suggested revision: research conducted Why it matters: Research is uncountable here and cannot take the article 'a'.
- 10. State the view directly Original: firmly advocate the idea that Suggested revision: firmly believe that Why it matters: The revision expresses the position more directly and avoids an unnecessarily heavy phrase.
- 11. Clarify the proposed response Original: can be diverted from prosecution Suggested revision: should receive warnings instead of prosecution Why it matters: The revision makes the proposed treatment of minor and first-time offenders explicit.
- 12. Use concise wording Original: punishments are imperative Suggested revision: punishment is necessary Why it matters: The uncountable singular form and simpler adjective express the general claim more naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- From my viewpoint In my view
- dissuade wrongdoings deter wrongdoing
- security for the society security in society
- fall back into old habits reoffend
- has some positives in preventing crimes has some benefits for crime prevention
- legal enforcers law-enforcement authorities
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear, well-qualified position and supports it with a logically developed contrast between cases requiring punishment and those suited to warnings. Its main limitation is occasional imprecise or unnatural wording in otherwise strong language, alongside a few grammatical lapses. Prioritise more idiomatic legal collocations and careful sentence-level proofreading while retaining the focused argument and relevant support.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the proposition with a clear qualified position and well-developed reasons for treating minor or first-time offenders differently from recidivists.
Strengthen the final claim by restating the precise conditions under which warnings are preferable instead of generalising about all lawbreakers.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a balanced two-sided structure, with clear paragraphing and generally well-managed cohesive devices.
Reduce formulaic sequencing such as First, Secondly, and Firstly by using more implicit links between supporting points.
Lexical Resource
A wide legal-policy vocabulary conveys meaning precisely overall, although several collocations such as legal enforcers and dissuade wrongdoings sound unnatural.
Use idiomatic choices such as law-enforcement officers and deter wrongdoing, and check noun forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with good control, but errors including a research and a comma splice remain noticeable.
Proofread article use and sentence boundaries, especially when joining explanatory clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some cases people who break the law should be warned instead of receiving punishment. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.