Water pollution has become an increasing problem over the past few decades. What causes water pollution? How can we prevent this problem?
Sample Response
Water pollution has emerged as a pressing environmental issue in recent decades, posing significant threats to ecosystems and human well-being. Understanding the causes of water pollution and implementing effective prevention measures are crucial in safeguarding our precious water resources. This essay will explore the various causes of water pollution and propose preventive strategies to mitigate this problem.
One major cause of water pollution is industrial and agricultural activities. Industries often release toxic chemicals and pollutants into water bodies, leading to contamination. Similarly, agricultural practices involving the use of fertilizers, pesticides, and herbicides contribute to water pollution when these substances enter rivers, lakes, and groundwater. For instance, the discharge of industrial wastewater containing heavy metals, such as mercury or lead, into rivers can have devastating effects on aquatic life and pose serious health risks to human populations.
Another significant contributor to water pollution is inadequate waste management and urban runoff. Improper disposal of household and industrial waste, including sewage, leads to the contamination of water sources. Additionally, urban areas with extensive impervious surfaces, such as roads and parking lots, contribute to increased runoff during rainfall, carrying pollutants into water bodies. For example, untreated sewage discharged directly into rivers without proper treatment plants can introduce harmful pathogens and pollutants, causing waterborne diseases and environmental degradation.
To combat water pollution, several preventive measures can be implemented. Firstly, stricter regulations and enforcement are necessary to control industrial and agricultural pollution. Governments should impose stringent pollution control measures on industries, promote sustainable agricultural practices, and provide incentives for businesses to adopt cleaner technologies.
Secondly, effective waste management systems should be established to ensure proper treatment and disposal of sewage and industrial waste. Investing in wastewater treatment plants and promoting responsible waste disposal practices can significantly reduce the pollution load on water bodies.
In conclusion, water pollution is a growing problem caused by industrial and agricultural activities, inadequate waste management, and urban runoff. However, by implementing measures such as stricter regulations, and improved waste management systems we can work towards preventing water pollution and preserving our valuable water resources for future generations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use neutral wording Original: our precious water resources Suggested revision: water resources Why it matters: Precious adds emotive emphasis that is unnecessary in this analytical sentence.
- 2. Use precise scope Original: various Suggested revision: main Why it matters: Main signals that the essay will select the most important causes rather than every possible one.
- 3. Avoid category overlap Original: toxic chemicals and pollutants Suggested revision: toxic pollutants Why it matters: Chemicals are already included within the broader category of pollutants here.
- 4. Name missing process Original: without proper treatment plants Suggested revision: without proper treatment Why it matters: Sewage is discharged without treatment, not without treatment plants.
- 5. Use concise sequence marker Original: Firstly Suggested revision: First Why it matters: First is the more concise sequencing marker in formal prose.
- 6. Keep modifiers parallel Original: stricter regulations and enforcement Suggested revision: stricter regulations and stronger enforcement Why it matters: Enforcement also needs a modifier to express the intended strengthening.
- 7. Use concise sequence marker Original: Secondly Suggested revision: Second Why it matters: Second is the more concise sequencing marker.
- 8. Use precise collocation Original: pollution load on water bodies Suggested revision: pollutant load in water bodies Why it matters: Pollutant load identifies the material being measured, and in describes its presence in the water.
- 9. Fix list punctuation Original: stricter regulations, and improved waste management systems we Suggested revision: stricter regulations and improved waste management systems, we Why it matters: The comma should close the introductory phrase after systems, not separate two list items.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: One major cause of water pollution is industrial and agricultural activities. Suggested revision: One major source of water pollution is contamination from industrial and agricultural activities. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes the number mismatch between the singular complement structure and the plural activities.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Another significant contributor to water pollution is inadequate waste management and urban runoff. Suggested revision: Other significant contributors to water pollution are inadequate waste management and urban runoff. Why it matters: The plural subject and verb are required for the two listed contributors.
Suggested Rewrites
- our precious water resources water resources
- various main
- toxic chemicals and pollutants toxic pollutants
- without proper treatment plants without proper treatment
- Firstly First
- stricter regulations and enforcement stricter regulations and stronger enforcement
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay thoroughly addresses both causes and prevention, linking industrial discharge, agricultural chemicals, sewage, and urban runoff to targeted regulation, cleaner practices, and treatment infrastructure. Its strongest feature is the precise cause-and-solution structure supported by relevant examples; the main limitation is minor repetition and a small punctuation lapse in the conclusion. The priority is to connect each preventive measure explicitly to its corresponding pollution source while preserving the strong technical clarity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both questions are fully answered through well-developed causes and practical preventive measures supported by specific environmental examples.
Make the response even more integrated by pairing agricultural runoff with a specific control measure such as nutrient limits or buffer zones.
Coherence and Cohesion
The six-paragraph organisation is highly logical, progressing from two cause groups to two solution groups with clear and unobtrusive cohesion.
Link each solution paragraph back to the corresponding cause explicitly so the prevention framework is even easier to trace.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise environmental range is used naturally, including accurate terminology for pollutants, runoff, treatment, and regulation.
As a refinement, reduce repetition of 'water pollution' and 'pollutants' through clear referencing and carefully chosen synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are used with consistently strong accuracy, with only rare minor punctuation and agreement lapses.
Remove the unnecessary comma after 'regulations' in the conclusion and add the comma before 'we can work' to close the introductory phrase clearly.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Water pollution has become an increasing problem over the past few decades. What causes water pollution? How can we prevent this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.