In many countries, people now wear western clothes such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Is this a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
It is common to see more and more people wear modern clothing such as suits and jeans in many parts of the world these days. This is, for the most part, a change for the better, though there are some negative implications. At the outset, there are some valid concerns over this rising trend of wearing modern, western outfits. The most worrisome aspect of this phenomenon is loss of cultural values. Because traditional clothes are representative of our cultural identity, less common use of this type of clothes is likely to lead to the disappearance of our cultural norms. Popularity of western attire might also spell doom for local businesses that specialize in making of traditional items of clothing. As more and more people purchase modern outfits, there will be less of market available to domestic manufacturers. This is compounded by the idea that the skill of traditional clothes making might be lost as a result of the trend in question. I, on the other hand, see the growing popularity of western clothes as a positive turn of events. The main reason here is practicality. Most western clothes tend to be flexible and durable compared with traditional ones due to the fact that the former is made of synthetic fabric, which is known for being elastic and long-lasting. More on the practicality argument, western clothes provide better insulation on cold winter days and more air circulation on hot days of summer: a western coat with several layers of coating is clearly superior to a single-layered quilt Uzbek chapan. Besides, western outfits are preferable as far as professional representation is concerned. This can be reflected in the instance of white-collar workers who tend to wear a black suit and a white shirt, as opposed to blue collar workers wear jeans and a T-shirt. In conclusion, while some object to the idea of wearing western clothes on cultural and economic grounds, I would argue that more people should be encouraged to adopt a wester look for practical reasons such as flexibility and distinguishability. #task2 341 words
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add definite article Original: is loss of cultural values Suggested revision: is the loss of cultural values Why it matters: The specific loss being identified requires the definite article.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: common Suggested revision: frequent Why it matters: Frequency, rather than commonness, is the intended meaning here.
- 3. Use uncountable noun Original: clothes Suggested revision: clothing Why it matters: After 'this type of', the uncountable noun 'clothing' is the natural form.
- 4. Remove extra preposition Original: specialize in making of Suggested revision: specialize in making Why it matters: The gerund 'making' takes its object directly in this construction.
- 5. Add article Original: less of market Suggested revision: less of a market Why it matters: The singular count noun 'market' requires an article.
- 6. Hyphenate compound modifier Original: traditional clothes making Suggested revision: traditional clothes-making Why it matters: Hyphenation makes the compound noun clearer and more conventional.
- 7. Fix subject agreement Original: is Suggested revision: are Why it matters: 'The former' refers to the plural noun 'clothes', so the verb must be plural.
- 8. Use formal transition Original: More on the practicality argument Suggested revision: Regarding practicality Why it matters: This concise transition states the connection more naturally in formal writing.
- 9. Choose accurate noun Original: coating Suggested revision: material Why it matters: 'Coating' refers to a covering applied to a surface and is inaccurate for garment layers.
- 10. Fix modifier form Original: quilt Suggested revision: quilted Why it matters: 'Quilted' is the adjective needed to describe the garment.
- 11. Fix comparison structure Original: as opposed to blue collar workers wear jeans and a T-shirt Suggested revision: whereas blue-collar workers wear jeans and a T-shirt Why it matters: 'Whereas' correctly introduces the contrasting finite clause, and the compound modifier needs a hyphen.
- 12. Correct spelling Original: wester Suggested revision: western Why it matters: 'Wester' is a spelling error in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- is loss of cultural values is the loss of cultural values
- common frequent
- clothes clothing
- specialize in making of specialize in making
- less of market less of a market
- traditional clothes making traditional clothes-making
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear position and supports it with relevant cultural, economic, practical, and professional considerations. Its main limitation is that some claims are overgeneralised or insufficiently convincing, while awkward phrasing and the absence of clear paragraph breaks weaken precision and readability. The highest-priority improvement is to organise each main idea into a distinct paragraph and support the positive case with more carefully qualified reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is fully addressed with a clear positive position, relevant counterarguments, and generally developed supporting ideas.
Qualify broad claims about western clothing and explain the professional-appearance point more convincingly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically and cohesive devices clarify relationships, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph obscures its structure.
Separate the introduction, negative considerations, positive case, and conclusion into clearly focused paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary supports precise discussion, although several collocations and word choices are awkward or inaccurate.
Replace expressions such as less of market and wester look with natural, context-appropriate phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally clear meaning, despite recurring article, agreement, and comparison errors.
Review agreement and clause structure, especially in comparisons such as the sentence contrasting white-collar and blue-collar workers.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, people now wear western clothes such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Is this a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.